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| Hello. I am Red Robot Model CH-37. I would have liked to be nicknamed Chet, but that seems unlikely for this war automaton. | |
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| Everyone calls me "Tobor." Who is Tobor? Is he another unit from my production line? And why does everyone wish for me to "cornhole" things? | |
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| I decided to have myself painted blue at an auto-body shop. But they recognized me. When I came in I was treated like a sodomist celebrity. | |
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| The mechanics pulled down their pants, giving each other high-fives as they exposed their rears to me. So many humans crying "Me first!" | |
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| I was surrounded by assholes. | |
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| My existence became a metaphor for internet forums. | |
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