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| ~chhk~ Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are experiencing some mild turbulence, please remain seated and keep your trays in their fully locked and upright positions. | |
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| You will find copies of the King James Bible in the seat pouch in front of you. Please feel free to use them in making your final peace with God, whom we will be seeing in roughly 2 minutes. | |
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| Our flight attendants will be throwing all unrepentant heathens over the side before impact, so that we may reach the gates of Heaven pure and untainted. Thank you and enjoy your flight. | |
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| FUUUUUUUU---ooh, Hammacher Schlemmer catalog. | |
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