All comics by StormHammer

Profile

 

by StormHammer
9-04-02
Lessons learned in life.
Hello, my child.
Are you my daddy?
In a way, i'm everyone's daddy.
But mommy is a lesbian!
Uhh...errr...
Hmm...I wonder if the tight little bitch from next door is home...

 

by StormHammer
9-04-02
Suddenly...
This is a public service announcement from Domino's Pizza...
Although I am not related to the Noid, he is indeed the reason why my head resembles a phallus...
Allow me to demonstrate my awesome power through the magic of Technicolor!!!
Hey there, I was told there would be free punch and pie??? What the hell??? Awww shit...:gulp:

 

by StormHammer
9-04-02
In other news...
Hello, my child.
Hi. I'm a six year old prostitute working to support my child. Care to make a donation?
Uhh...errr...hmm...
Ever since that dog got me pregnant, I haven't been able to walk in a straight line...I think it's cuz the dog was a Saint Bernard.
That's it, I have no more faith in humanity...
I wonder if he'll buy me booze for a hand job...

 

by StormHammer
9-04-02
Here comes trouble...
Hey good lookin, wanna party?
You smell like cabbage.
Oh come on, you know you want this clit in your mouth...
Yeah right, it's probably infested...
*POOF* BOW TO ME FOR I AM YOUR ONE TRUE LORD!!!!
That's it...I need some time with my Sybian...

 

by StormHammer
9-04-02
This makes sense?
Hi. I'm a beatnik.
Hi. I'm a government employee.
Uhh...wanna make out?
Let me think about that for a minute...
AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!!
Who's yo daddy NOW, beeyatch???

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
Haha, you dead now, bitch!!!
Fuck you, twiggy!!! I can never die!!!
A can of gasoline...how CONVENIENT!!!
AHHHHH!!!!!! *burn sizzle pop*
Oh shit...he had my Ebola virus specimen...
Bwahaha!!! Even as a pile of ashes I have my revenge!!!

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
Somewhere in Hell...
I AM YOUR MASTER!!! BOW BEFORE ME!!!
Hey pal, get in line.
I'm not the one dancing on a ball in a gayass tshirt and speedo, fucker...
You know what...suck my cock!!!
OH GOD!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!
Come on, I'm all lubed up and ready for ya, hot stuff...NOW CHOKE IT DOWN LIKE THE BITCH YOU ARE!!!

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
Ching chung, muthafucka!!!
Shit beeatch yo clit be off da HEEZY!!!
*KABOOM* Yo muthafucka you be tryin to bust up my hizzle fo shizzle? Well prepare fo mah JIZZLE!!!
SHIT!!! I'Z BEST BE OFF AND UP OUT!!!
We apologize for the use of white people in this skit...
Yeah, we'll try to keep that to a minimum. Now, off to rice out a Civic...

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
Hi squirrel.
Hi poser.
Fuck you.
Fine. Gimme a minute...
Shit.
Put out my fire, bitch.

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
*hiccup* Well hello there!!!
Yo muthafucka!!! You best be gettin up out mah hood!!! I just busted some mad cizzapz and I don wanna kill yo cracka ass too!!
Alright, I'll go...but first *hiccup* do me a favor...suck me dry as a bone...
Shiiiiiittttt.....you honky shitpackaz be mad ill...i'ma get up out dis beeatch!!!
OOO!!!! A dead body!!! *hiccup* *zip*
i'm...not...dead...

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
You look like you just fell out of a CR-X's exhaust...
Fuck you, paleface!!! At least I get pussy every night!!!
Well, seeing as i'm a hermaphrodite...
Shit dawg, I had you all wrong...Wanna 69 till Oprah's on???
Can't, gotta go to a GLAAD convention...
Oh come on, at least let me slurp on your fat schlong while shoving a Sybian up your ass and yelling OH WHAT A LOVELY TEA PARTY!!!

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
Last time, on the Real World...
Umm...I like totally forgot your birthday...wanna go buy a cotton tshirt?
CRACKA BITCH!!! You just HAD to bring up cotton. My ancestors picked cotton for you honkey bitches!!! You a racist!!!
Later...
Yo girl, what be happenin?
BOW TO ME!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRR MATEE!!!!
Just then...
I think we should tell them that MTV is just a tool of the Viacom Corporation and their show is completely worthless to anyone, yet strangely addicting...
My balls itch...

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
This is a yellow bar.
Worship us, for we are zombies driven by nothing but MTV!!!
Yeah, they can't even afford a decent background...
Hmm...I wonder if Carson Daly is gonna come to my trailer today...
Shut up, cokehead...
I SHALL DESTROY YOU, INFIDEL!!!
Don't make me castrate you...

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
In the 5th dimension...
All I'm saying is that the per capita income of this country is a JOKE!!!
My balls still itch...
Seriously, we need to oust the current government and establish a People's Republic of America!!!
God...is there no end to itchy balls???
I really shouldn't put Irish whiskey in my coffee...it's making me talk like a politician!!!
Hmm...those spikes on your head will do rather nicely...

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
At the Laugh Shack...
Hmm...why is my head so big?
Probably cuz you keep it so far up your ass...
Hey, that wasn't part of the sketch!!!
Neither is THIS!!!
I hate you...
What's that? I can't hear you. Your flesh is boiling too loudly.

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
Hi. My balls itch.
Sorry to hear...would you like an analgesic cream???
No. But a blowjob would be nice.
Ah, let me fetch my little friend...
Well, on the plus side the itching seems to have stopped...
BWAHAHA!!!! BURN, METAL INFIDEL!!!

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
Dateline: 35000 feet and falling...
Hi. I'm Kerri.
BZZT BEEP CLANK CLANK
Why did you rip off the roof of the plane?
BZZT *pitiful...human...prepare...to...die* CLANK BEEP
AHHHH!!!!!!! MY HAIR DYE IS ON FIRE!!!!!!
BWAHAHA!!!!!! The day is mine!!!

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
Coming to a theater near you...
Hi Greg.
Hello my love.
Uhh...yeah.
BZZT...errr...i mean...
BASTARD!!!!!
BZZT CLANK *aww...shit* BEEP

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
In da h00d...
SUP BAY-BEE???
Uhh...who the hell are you?
I'm da pimp and you muh beeatch!!!
I don't think so...
Sheeeeit...
Yup, you're a big pile of it now.

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
Somewhere in Texas...
YEE-MUTHAFUCKIN-HAW, NIGGA!!!!
You smell like cabbage, too...
Boyyyyy howdy!!!
Eek...that donkey looks a little horny...
Just stay on the ground, cowboy...I'll be done before you know it...
Looks like this cowboy's seen his last sunset...

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
BEER!!!
TITTIES!!!
Bye.
See ya.

 

by StormHammer
9-05-02
As the Civil War rages on...
I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!!!
You gotta be kidding me...
THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!!!
Wouldn't the South rising turn it into the North?
SILENCE, INFIDEL!!!
Aww hell...

 

by StormHammer
9-07-02
Damn...I'm sexy!
!yxes m'I...nmaD
I wonder if Kerri will be at the concert tonight...
...thginot trecnoc eht ta eb lliw irreK fi rednow I
Maybe I'll score!!!
...egabbac ekil llems uoy ,epoN

 

by StormHammer
9-07-02
Later, at the concert...
Kerri!!!
Oh, hey Kyle. What's up?
I dunno, but i'm diggin this acid...
Me too...fuck me raw you stud of a man!!!
*growl moan spank*
*scream pant moan bite*

 

by StormHammer
9-09-02
Seattle 1994...
If I had to lose a mile...If I had to touch feelings...I could lose my soul...the way I do...
I don't have to think...I only have to do it...the results aren't always perfect...but that's old news...
would you like to hear my voice...sprinkled with emotion...taken at your birth...i can't seeeee...the end of meee...my whole expanse...i cannot see...formulate infinity...and store it deep inside me..

 

by StormHammer
9-11-02
GRRR!!!! I R ROBOT!!!!
If you don't mind, i'm trying to hijack a plane...
BOW TO ME FOR I PWN J00!!!!
Shut up or i'll strangle you with my turban...
INFIDEL!!!!!! YOU WILL LEARN RESPECT!!!!!!
OH GOD STOP THE HAX!!!!!!

 

by StormHammer
12-19-03
FOR CAPITALISM!!!
FOR FREEDOM!!!
FOR MICRO$OFT!!!
FOR OPEN SOURCE!!!
For the hell of it...
Today on Jerry...I married my cousin's dog, and now our bastard child wants rights to a movie about it!!!

Showing page 1.