All comics by TehDillian

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by TehDillian
6-27-04
This is Gangsta Zorbak and Ed.
So how bout dem muffins!?
I'm going to go...and do stuff...away from you.
So how bout dem muffins!?

 

by TehDillian
6-27-04
*Ding Dong*
Yo, Ed! You be keepin it rizzeal? Just remember, preserve WAHTAH!....Dayum. Don't make me cizzome in there!
*Mutter* Oh...Richard Simmons..so hot...
Dag, yo!
Wha? Ah! Zorbak! Oh, um, yes...Zorbak. Indeed. I was just...cleaning..my..um...cabbage. Yes...cabbage..and..um...I want you to...uh...burn?
Thats wiggidy whack.

 

by TehDillian
6-27-04
Yo. You be keepin real, my cow friend?
Moo.
*Sigh* It's time like these that really make you wonder, and want to shout out in an uncontrollably loud cry, so loud that it will shake the hea...HEY! YOU BE INTERUTIN' MAH SPEECH!
Yeah, thats it green boy. Turn around so I can see that FINE ass of yours. Mhm, my, my, my. Boy, you've got one lonely cow riled up so good!
Can I feel your skin?
And the part about me being a talking cow that's trying to seduce you doesn't really freak you out?

 

by TehDillian
6-27-04
So, I hear you have lady problems. What have you been doing to..uh..."attract" them?
On XzorbianZ5, we just always screamed and yelled in an unorderly fashion which was more of a loud ear shattering screech.
Pfahaha! Who taught you that? Your mom? If so, I'd like to hook up with her. She sounds pretty kinky.
....
You stay away from my mom.

 

by TehDillian
6-27-04
Today kids, we will be talking with Zorbak and Ed, all about sex. They will answer your questions.
Zorbak, what is sex?
Well, Billy, thats a tough question. I'll have go with it being an overused word by Deoderant companies.
What is all this hair?
Thats one of the signs of puberty. I suggest you shavet all off, and strut around like a woman. Then form a large ball of the shaved hair, and put it in your mom's soup and let it caress.
Looks like we time for one more question, kids!
What about these lumps under my shirt?
Your eyes are extremely massive and and you have pointy ears. Personally, I don't care about those "lumps". Your ears are pointy. Like..a cat. To be honest, I'm aroused.

 

by TehDillian
6-27-04
This is a simple spoof. I am merely redoing "oo's" comic. I personally enjoy oo's comics, and am just adding a little of my touch to them.
Yo dude. Your buddy Randall didn't kill me.
I see.
And uh...you aren't going to kill me again in a physics defying explosion with a red boom outlined?
Nope.
What a nice person!

 

by TehDillian
6-28-04
I loved this strip so much, I made a continuation ;-)
Plus, I can't help but feel these are just some kids that think if they throw in "Fuck" it's hilarious.
Most kids probably think fuck is some kind of mushroom. I mean, thats cool, right?
Indeed Death, indeed. What they need is some inspiration. Or we just need to kill everyone of them.
Nah, killings to violent. Then we'd have nothing to read. Why don't we just make fun of all their comics, until they call their mommy and say "Look! Look! He's making fun of my fuck comic!" Yeah.
Yeah, and then "Mommy"'s like "Oh dear, fuck is a bad word! Go to your room!" Yeah, and then the little kid just kind of slumps away, calling is Grapefruit head under his breath.
It's as sadistic as a violently gory death, except the blood is tears. Ah, making little kids cry is fun.

 

by TehDillian
6-28-04
Hello anonymous person. In light of the recent Lizard Co. Events, I have decided my comic on it is not funny. At all. I think I was somewhere inbetween being drunk, bored, and half asleep at the time.
In fact, I consider that "comic" more or less some shit with words on it.
M-m-mister, I thought it was funny when the hippie said you were nice! Tee-hee!
I hate you.

 

by TehDillian
6-28-04
If you don't like dem muffins, don't be eatin them you stupid hamster!
Hey Z, some lame assed child-happy tv show tells me I can't be on their child-happy tv show. Something about me too "violently-graphic for child entertainment"
YEAH, RUN LITTLE GIRL! YOU RUN LIKE HELL! DON'T YOU THROW YOUR GOD DAMNED COOKIE AT ME, BITCHFACE!
Waaah!
I'm finding it unexplainably difficult to imagine an outcome that is somewhat happy.
Bitch.

 

by TehDillian
6-28-04
Ladies and Gentlemen, do not panic. We are being overrun by lame comics. Here we have Susan on the scene.
What you are about to see is very graphic, and discretion is advised. Watch at your own risk.
Yes Tom, it is INTENSE out here! Ther'e like flies to poop! They seem to be in some sort of state where they won't listen! Please God..MAKE IT STOP!
My cat is orange! ORANGE FOR GOD SAKES! HAHAHA!

 

by TehDillian
6-29-04
Remember the time I walked in on you, and said Richard Simmons?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
You're a faggot, you know that?

 

by TehDillian
6-29-04
Something looks like it's bothering you...
GASP! I just got back from one of those blind dates! That woman was like the whole entire country of Canda, covered in a sticky substance reeking of tire rubber.
Seems theres a reason why you couldn't just "leave".
...
She pronounced Fajita "Fahjitta". I thought it was hilarious to watch her speak through a mouthful saying Fajitta.

 

by TehDillian
6-30-04
Hm...since Barney's a dinosaur...I wonder if he's ever you know, let his animal instincts kick in. Like, for eating..and killing.
Ok, so basically you're wondering if they've over shown Barney killing someone..then eating him/her?
Uh...yep.
You have a sick, sick mind.

 

by TehDillian
7-01-04
So, I just got back from this summers hottest chickflick, The Journal. With the guy from that crappy tv show, Breaker High.
And how was that? Was it moving that it made you appreciate the emotion of love?
...
I have a feeling it's something along the lines of the Fahjitta story.
Actually, turns out the guy was a Eunich, and the girl was terrified out of her skin, and then ran off and ate bisquits and margerine.

 

by TehDillian
7-03-04
So then Granny's like all, GET ME VIBRATOR, SONNY JIM! And I'm like, "Get it yourself, you old assbag!" And she's like "YOU BEST BE MINDING YOUR P'S AND Q's!"
Uh-huh.
Yeah, so then I performed a series of beatings on her, and caused mass blood bath of wrinkled skin and hair. Do you know how hairy granny's REALLY are? Anyway, whats your opinion on this?
...
What would diarrhea in space look like?

 

by TehDillian
7-04-04
Run bitchface, run.
Ed, I just got back from Martha Stewart's house.
And how'd that go?
She's a lot different than you'd expect. Here skin was so kinky.
Your skin...is like the soft gooey tenderness of a baby.
You the boy wit' dat FINE ass! Shake it like a Saltshaka!

 

by TehDillian
7-05-04
Dear Z&E readers, we shall be gone for a week. You can expect us back by uh.....
..Saturday you fucktard.
Um yes, uh, indeed. Please refrain from having orgasms of sorrow while you reread our comics over and over looking hopelessly for a new one of wit and humour to fill your cravings.
Now, heres a fat nerd-type person for you all to stare at. We call him Bitchface.
Backstage
I'M SORRY, XBOX_TEH_SUX, BUT YOU WERE WRONG WHEN YOU SAID RAINBOW SIX 3 WAS MADE BY ACCLAIM! AGAIN, I WIN! HAHAHA!

 

by TehDillian
7-10-04
BEGONIA!

 

by TehDillian
7-10-04
Are you aware the average male thinks of sex every 7 seconds?
Yep.
Oh man, that was kinky.
I hate you.

 

by TehDillian
7-26-04
Let the world know that my green penis is itchy!
Do I really need an update on your bodily functions?
Hm...
After thinking long and hard about this, I have decided that you should also my left testicle is abnormally large as well.
Kill me.

 

by TehDillian
7-28-04
"And now we shall shall turn to Divine Service II"
Reverand, can you heal me? I'm infested?
You fucktard. It's church, save it for after..
...
Thank you.
But my pubes are so itchy!
You deserve to be killed.

 

by TehDillian
8-09-04
At this very moment, my legs are being digested.
Dear Readers of Z&E, I am running out of ideas. Please, I need some. And badly as well.
So then I says to him, "Get the boot out of the pie!". Wait, thats not funny.
Plus, the squirrels in my neighbours cousions roomates fridge have become horny.
It's getting bad folks. I mean, honestly. Some of the things I've tried are just pure shit.
When I'm happy, I'm this tall.
What a sick, sick world we live in.
Yet through thick and thin, I might find something. Zorbak, fill them in.
Yes Eric, this is INTENSE! Coming up next, we're gonna take dry pasta, and make it wet! Fascinating stuff.

 

by TehDillian
8-09-04
Aaron, screw you. You and your hentai scare me.
Fine. Your loss. Oh man, it's as fake as it can get fake, so sexy.
Yep, Rolaids are definetly awesome.
Hey dude. Where did you get that Icecream?
Ask me again and I'll strangle you with your own entrails.

 

by TehDillian
8-10-04
It's just a frickin ice cream cone. Don't get your panties up in a bunch.
It's MY Icecream. Me and it shall never part.
May I ask why you're so hostile?
This will be our little secret. I'm a mass murderer out to kill anyone that moves. Happy?
Load off my mind. I thought you were going to drown me with the contents of your icecream then ram the cone down my throat as I gargled up a pool of Vanila Icecream and blood, all the whil...
You have a sick, sick mind. You know that?

 

by TehDillian
9-06-04
OH MY GOD YOU FUCKING LOSER! I JUST FUCKING SPAWNED AND I'M ALREADY FUCKING DEAD! YOU'RE THE BIGGEST FUCKING LOSER I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!!11!!!11!!1!!!!!1!!!!
Hi. I'm Eric, and I'm here today to tell you about Spawn Camping in online multiplayer games. Mainly shooters, where a few simple shots can mean death.
But the actually reality of it is, Spawn Camping (SC) can be defined in the following low lifed examples: Steaing candy from a baby, or pouring a condom (yes, POURING), onto someones sleeping face.
It makes you feel more dominant, doesn't it? What you don't know, is that you're slowly shrinking your penis (Or if you're a girl, you're slowly GROWING a penis). This a nasty side effect of "SC".
So remember, when they kill you that 30th time, think of them trying to get on, and find they're microscopically small shrunken twig like stump.
Now if you excuse me I have to take care of some n00bs.

 

by TehDillian
12-19-04
Hey, my penis is green.
..I don't need to know that.
But...it's GREEN
Yeah, ok?
You know, one of these days, you're going to realize just how special I really am.
You see this sharp sickle of death? I'm not afraid to use it.

 

by TehDillian
10-11-05
I have come upon a startling theory. WHAT IF, we are really just pixels, with speech bubbles above our heads? I mean, what if, we're not even real?
Right, when I see a talking horse.
y helo thar buttsecks? lozl

 

by TehDillian
10-21-05
ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS
ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS
RECTAL DIFFICULTIES
ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS ANUS
RECTAL DIFFICULTIES RECTAL DIFFICULTIES RECTAL DIFFICULTIES RECTAL DIFFICULTIES RECTAL DIFFICULTIES RECTAL DIFFICULTIES RECTAL DIFFICULTIES RECTAL DIFFICULTIES RECTAL DIFFICULTIES LOZL.

 

by TehDillian
10-22-05
y helo thar buttsecks do u want to go nd party!1/1!??!?!1!1!?!1?!
n0 lets just st4nd hear and be l33t lozl
lawl bush is a fagz but k3rry is coolz.
j00 r rightz lozl but n4der is cooler and liberalz are ghey.

 

I'm totally holding a fish.
by TehDillian, 10-22-05

 

You have no fucking clue how much I fucking hate your franchise.
by TehDillian, 10-22-05

 

1 am 3VIL BACONZ
Hell if I care, I've got no dick.
by TehDillian, 10-22-05

 

Do I really need to provide an explanation?
by TehDillian, 10-27-05

 

by TehDillian
10-27-05
oh no we are crashingz!@122@22@@!!12!!!!!
oh noez what are we going to do!1!!!1!!11!!
lawl ok we r ok
oh noes whath appened
Meanwhile...
it's like we're in castawayz lawl
i am tom hanks

 

by TehDillian
12-03-05
BLAH BLAH BLAH I AM NOT FUNNY BLAH BLAH BLAH
OH NO A EVIL BEAR THING WITH CLOTHES
ya ur dead fagz i am 133t hax0r i pwn teh bitches
For some reason, I don't miss him.
pheer me i can morhp into horze 2 and sumhow zorbak died but oh well he was d8mb n e wayz buttcseks lo0l

 

My right ear is infected.
I'm sorry! I didn't know you were a smart Cannibal!
ya well sum of crazy native cannibals haf brains n00b so plz di k thx n00b
by TehDillian, 12-03-05

 

GR STUPID MCDONALDS MONOPOLY I DON'T LIKE YOU AND BIG MAC'S ARE GAY.
DO NOT MOTHER FUCKING PASS GO NOOB. DO NOT COLLECT 200 DOLLARS. THIS IS MY MONOCLE.
by TehDillian, 12-03-05

 

So you're telling me that Hillary is really Hitler in disguise and I should declare war on her lawn.
It's what all us cool Republicans do.
by TehDillian, 12-03-05

 

I'm not speaking with you! You break my heart!
But Jesus, St. Anger actually got a good review in here!
by TehDillian, 12-03-05

 

wut wzu teh villin of tron i can't remeber
by TehDillian, 12-03-05

 

Why the hell is he laughing at me? I'm the normal one of the group, if anything
hahaha u r noobie baken i am cumpltly norml u r dum tho lozl
by TehDillian, 12-04-05

 

very impresive it sayz heer u fot in vietnam u r my hero and r not noob lawl
by TehDillian, 12-04-05

 

Hahaha, I shot your head with a nail. I am hil-motherfucking-aris
oh noes nail in my heddz i will get ito ut with hammerz lawl i r smrt
by TehDillian, 12-04-05

 

I don't see why you can't just let me into this bar.
nuh uh now sir back awayu or i will haff to eet ur face and i m good @ eeting faces so look out or yu will loose ur fac!!!1!11111!1!
by TehDillian, 12-04-05

 

u r noob0r at fling my space sh1pz
by TehDillian, 12-04-05

 

by TehDillian
12-04-05
so hunny r we going to bone r what i am so horny

 
by TehDillian, 12-04-05

 

So uh, Scotty tells me you're an "evil death monger who rips people off and then eats their intestines."
hmmmm i will sell echo clothes dhen say dhey are magic and then whne thy r not looking iwi ll eet their heads off i am so sneeky
by TehDillian, 12-04-05

 

hello r u having nice day in clouds i no ia m lawl
by TehDillian, 12-04-05

 

Suddenly Dracula was afraid. Very afraid.
by TehDillian, 12-04-05

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