All comics by The_Howling_Monkey

 

Hmmmm....
Yep, Yep, Yep....
I should have kicked that guy's ass.

 

Your hat looks funny! Your beard looks funny!
You look funny! You're a silly man! I have to go!
If I had my shovel, one blow to the back of the head....wham! Good thing I don't have my shovel.

 

Jonas is tormented by a demon
Serve the Dark One! Taste the power!
Maybe it would be nice to get some store-bought butter.
Eh....it's a start.

 

While visiting town for supplies, Jonas is questioned by FBI special agent Lance Boyle
Excuse me, sir, we are looking for a fugitive, a caucasian female, age 41, dark blonde hair, 5'6". She was last seen in a 1996 red Nissan Altima.
She's a very dangerous woman. She's responsible for a string of armed robberies, aggravated assaults, and one murder. So, as you can understand, any information you might have could be useful.
What the hell is a Nissan?

 

Jonas meets a Buddhist monk travelling through town
There are ten things considered good by all beings, and ten things considered evil
The three evil deeds depending upon the body are: killing, stealing and unchaste deeds. The four depending upon the mouth are: slendering, cursing, lying and flattery.
The three depending upon the mind are: jealousy, hatred and ignorance. When these evils are not done, they are ten good deeds.
Why is this guy wearing a sheet and no pants?

 

Jonas wanders across a convention of the Society for Creative Anachronisms
Hail to thee good sir!
What a jackass.

 

Grimetongue the Demon confronts Jonas yet again
You must embrace the evil! Submit, worm! Become mighty with darkness and smite your enemies!
Maybe I'll skip the barn raising and sew a zipper into my pants.....nah! I'll go raise a barn!
This one is strong!

 

Father Dolan tries to convert Jonas
Yes, our church is one of rich tradition and history.
A good man like you would be a benefit to our church. And our church would greatly benefit a man such as yourself, my son
I'm still confused. Why can't these guys eat ham on Friday?

 

There are mornings when I just don't want to milk the cows.
Moo
Stupid cows.

 

Oh, your people are fascinating!
Do you have any pies or breads you'd like to sell me! I'd love to take some to my grandchildren!
I'm not a damn Mennonite, you old hag!

 

Unbeknownst to him, Jonas is filmed for "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"
That outfit has got to go. Who wears sleeveless black vests now? It's so Mike Doonesbury.
And we MUST get rid of the beard and hat. Hello, paging Stevie Ray Vaughn! It does not work for you.
Are all Sodomites that short?

 

Grimetongue the demon tempts Jonas, as he is want to do.
The darkness is like a comfortable blanket....a blanket that will bring you unbridled joy and power!
Submit to the darkness, and free yourself of the shackles that hold you down!
Grimetongue is narrowly defeated
Wait a minute...what was I thinking? I don't want to apply for law school....

Showing page 1.