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| Welcome to the channel 4 news, our art guy is dyslexic.. | |
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| Oh I'm gonna key your wife and fuck your car! | |
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| Tonight's main story, Brad Pitt chased me across northern France wielding some kind of lightsaber hedgehog, strangely before he caught me I awoke suddenly in my bed | |
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| As the state cannot protect my dreams Brad Pitt was executed one hour ago | |
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| And now Here's Sasha with the sports headlines. | |
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