Tinman  

Tinman, I'm not sure you understand the gravity of the situation. If this old man dies, we owe the 6 billion dollars of debt!

So what's the old geezer doing? Resting? I hope he's attached to a ventilator.

No, he's chained to a boulder working in the fields to pay off the debt.

Shit. There's only one thing to do when third world problems become too much to bear...

What?

Get a bunch of B-list celebrities for a meaningless fundraiser so the average housewife can forget those nagging feelings of pity for another few years.