TooMuchCoffeeGuy  

Hello Pikadeth. I am the ghost of Sir Alec Guiness. The ghost of Christmas past called in sick today, so I'm filling in.

Cool. So you're a ghost? Can you go inside people and stuff like that?

Yes, I am capable of...

Hey, while you're here can you check my prostate? The local doctors found me out and...

Ummm...

I've been black-listed from every proctologist in California, and the last time I had a mexican's hand up my ass I got herpes.