All comics by Trojangrind

 

by Trojangrind
3-22-04
You're actually doing the Cosplay?
Hell yes dude, I'm Gandalf the Grey!
...but he's not a video game character.
...why do you have to ruin these things for me...at least flatter me. Check out this thing I got from the magic shop.
Upon closer examination...you're still a loser.
...I hate you.

 

by Trojangrind
3-22-04
Ninja Gaiden pwns d00d! Only teh l33t can be ski113d enuf!!!oneoneone
Uh huh...are you done Steve?
...and on level 3 there's this crazy boss, and you have to do this to get around him...hold on.
...like I was saying. You have to run around him and pounce on him like this...now don't worry, I'm a pro.
Go ahead Steve, and you see what happens....

 

by Trojangrind
3-22-04
Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman....heh

 

by Trojangrind
3-22-04
Hey Jason, can I ask you a question?
Shoot.
Well...did you ever wonder if there was more to life than this? More to life than getting up, putting on a suit, and working every day for the rest of your life, just to please some conformists?
...
...
...Jon, maybe you're just not paying attention here, I'm a fucking goat...on a stool.

 

by Trojangrind
3-23-04
Jesus, those motor mouths next to us gonna shut up?
They better not be talking like that when the movie starts.
What's the point of even coming here if you're not going to be looking at the screen?
Heh, they're actually pretty funny. They're talking about how bad Passion was. Pretty entertaining.
...I saw that coming somehow.

 

by Trojangrind
3-23-04
Wait til the message boards hear about this!
Soo...we've been playing EQ together a lot lately. Maybe we could meet up sometime?
Sure, what about Friday? I have to do some modeling in the afternoon, but the rest of the day I'm free!

 

by Trojangrind
3-24-04
How can I help you?
Hello son, I would like to buy four of those tool sets over there. Could you have someone help me bring it out?
Several Minutes Later...
...where do I strap these in sir?
OH JUST LOOK AROUND, I'M SURE THERE'S A NOOK AN CRANNY TO FIT THEM IN. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE WHEN I'M DONE TALKING TO MY WIFE.
Meanwhile...
Wife, is there anything else you need?
...lube

 

by Trojangrind
3-26-04
So real witches don't have cauldrons or long pointy noses with warts?
No, it's ignorance like in the media that gives us these cliches.
So if I went to a Wicca convention wtih you I wouldn't see any black cats??
Look, when you start to respect the Wicca culture then talk to me.
So you ready to go?
Yea just let me get my wand...

 

by Trojangrind
4-10-04
www.lovinganimals.com
www.mailorderbrides
www.teenforums.com

 

by Trojangrind
4-24-04
So I understand you want a full makeover? That's face lift, tummy tuck, the works?
Yes, that's right.
I'd just like to ask you a question before we begin, for social reasons then we can get to work: Why do you want this change?
Well it's simple doc, I want a look that will turn heads. I want people after me. I want excitement!
A Few Hours Later...
So?

 

by Trojangrind
4-24-04
I have followed your work all of my life...
...actually are my life.
I have read all of the wonderful things you've done.
Please as you faithful servent through life please indulge me with the answers to all of life's mysteries!
Arr, well it all started when the Ninjas attacked...
Oh Joy!

 

by Trojangrind
4-24-04
I hate these costumes, I feel like a moron.
Same here, what company you work for?
I hate these costumes, I feel like a moron.
Same here, what company you work for?
The new guy has it worse, doesn't even follow the "Alternating Words" scheme.
Gandalf's Plumbing...fuck you guys.

 

by Trojangrind
4-24-04
I hate these stupid company costumes, I feel like a morn.
I hear you, where do you work?
Leif Erikson Lawncare, you?
Blackbeard Beauty Salon.
New guy has it worse, he doesn't even fit the "Alternating Words" scheme.
Gandalf's Plumbing...fuck you guys.

 

by Trojangrind
4-24-04
Hey Ty.
Hey, pull my finger!
Ugh, just like men. Always doing disgusting acts just to attract women. You do realize that fart joke unappealing to women and show signs of poor hygiene and immaturity?
...
...
...you know you want to.

 

by Trojangrind
4-25-04
Steven, we meet again... How have thins been aboard the S.S. Star..GEEK!
Don't call me that! I am known as Gorbla here among my Star Followers, so why don't you go fuck a hobbit you Medieval bitch.
How about I shove my "Enterprise" up you ASS!
Great, now you just implied you were going to forcefully insert you member into my rear. Please thing about your insult before you execute them you equivilant of a Klingon whore.
OFF TO MORDOR WITH YOU BEAST!
What the hell is with this guy and Lord of the Rings?

 

by Trojangrind
4-25-04
Good morning, I'm Chuck Johnson.
And I'm Sarah Newman, we're back with more KCCP news.
Early this morning news was passed to the President concerning weapons of mass destruction in Brazil.
The President addressed to the public that to prevent the use of the bombs in Brazil...we will be bombing them later this week.
...we're going to hell aren't we Sarah?
...I think so Chuck.

 

by Trojangrind
4-26-04
Why are you here?
To protest this war and all of my brothers being sent to die, man.
You have no idea what's going on here do you?
Of course I do, man. The government is oppressing us and forcing our brothers to fight for an ungrateful people, man.
The ungrateful fucks you see on TV are about 5 percent of the people here. Women, children, and countless innocents have been suffering and we're fighting for THEIR freedom.
Oh...I'm gonna go protest banning gay marriges now.

 

by Trojangrind
4-26-04
I'm going to need to see ID before I can sell you this wine.
...
No ID, no booze.
Please tell me you're joking.
I am asking for you ID, if you don't have it it's against the law.
I could say the same thing about your green card...

 

by Trojangrind
4-26-04
Yo man, got a new one straight outta Thailand for you. She's young, sexy, and ready for loving!
You're sure she's clean?
As sure as my pimp hand is mighty strong, brother.
I dont know man...
I didn't know what you meant by "young"...

 

by Trojangrind
4-26-04
I just don't see them being back together again.
You don't think I can set them up?
Look, you're not the best matchmaker, remember what you tried to do for the Mrs. Jenson's 4th grade class last year?
Er...
Hello.
I have...candy.

 

by Trojangrind
4-26-04
Hey pal, what's new?
Oh you know, just another day at the office. Spilled cofee on my suit, filed the wrong paperwork, ate a bad muffin, and I accidently killed my gerbil with my paperweight.
So I take is the cofee was hott?
I will kill you one day, Stan.

 

by Trojangrind
4-26-04
So she was like "My dad is a Republican" and I'm like "Sorry, I don't like Star Wars".
Ok, just take this hammer, ok?
And just do this a lot.

 

by Trojangrind
5-02-04
Well, on nights like this, he comes from the depths of the underworld to steal souls! He stalks the night craving for hearts and brains! He is the darkness
Uh huh...that is so weak dude. Get some balls.
WHO DOUBTS ME??!!
AHHH!!
They call me...Pablo. FEAR!
...I will destroy you someday, Pablo.

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