What about Ed? He's a dark soul, obsessed with leaving behind the dark excesses of 1994 gaming in America by rediscovering old Japanese consoles which he never heard of!
This is about the origin of that wonderful name, Ed Oscuro.
One time I was plaeing in halflife an some l337 dude call oscuro told me his name. it was from some great game called Rise of the Triad. AWWWEESOME
Pride in my namesake diminished as I realized that the boss I named myself after looked something like this in the final level, and also that you can't beat it without a patch.
Agh, i got something stuck inbetween my teeth.
Rise of the Triad was the best game EVAAAAR, right, suzie?
Shut up Tom, thank god 1994 is OVER. And why did you have to invent that stupid cult?
We r the Kremlin, pissed and want to speak from your leasdre Oscuro.
He's attending to important business right now, may I take a message?
[ORH]Comumist (#62888) missed your base with a Nuclear Scud Missile.
hello mr oscuro why u try to bomb me 4 times here i send a missle u die
Thank you for calling San Nicholas Island.
*Crap!* Hope that one landed outside my perimeter!
For a chance to laugh as 15-year old world leaders carve radioactive swimming pools in their neighbor's swimming pool (using up all their money doing it,) go visit www.nukezone.nu!
Well, I didn't get this old by being too hasty...before I promise you unilateral action will be taken against the Oscuridos, I want you to go and fetch me a certain Dwarven artifact of great power.
Sure, this comic isn't very funny; consider it backstory, the "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back" of this strip miniseries. Though there might be more than three of them.
Uh, what's that...bzzt...static...UH hey I'm losing you there, say again? How many nukes do u have?
...wouldn't you be happy with a pizza instead?
Sure, bring it up to my dorm room and we'll discuss battle plans then.