All comics by WiLzzt

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by WiLzzt
7-11-02
Our story begins in an uneventful city, with an uneventful chemist, Dr. Zbob. Dr. Zbob was sitting in his laboratory, thinking.
I am thinking
Just then, a small bird appeared in his lab!
Wh.. Where am I?
Wh...

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
You punk! However you got in here, You'd better tell me your name or I'll be eatin' chicken tonight!
Please don't kill me!
My... those are the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen...
*weep* *weep*
Please, don't cry, lil' lady. What's your name?

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
My name? It's Chili.
Hey, Chili, how did you get here?
I'm here from another dimension..
Interesting...
I need help to return to my homeland.
I must be going crazy. That's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen in my life

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
Some time later...
So what you're telling me is that you've been travelling through parallel worlds, trying to get back to the land of the emerald penguins?
That's the large and small of it.
And I can help you how?
You can come with me! Just close your eyes and count to three!
And I thoughtg I wasn't hallucinating there for a second...
One... two... you aren't counting with me!

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
All right, already. My eyes are closed. One... Two... Thr...
Oh dear... This isn't home either...
Somehow I didn't think it would be.

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
I've got a bad feeling about this place.
What kind of mess did you get us into, exactly?
Excuse me a moment...
Egad! A cop!
What in the world kind of freaky thing are you?
A monster!

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
Excuse me, officer, where are we exactly?
You're in Cotton Candy Land eep! I must call for backup there are two monsters!
Boy, he was an odd fellow...
He was right. There are a couple of monsters here!
You look much like the last guy I saw
Back! Away!

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
Do you hear that?
More are coming, I'd warrant.
You're under arrest! Come with us!
Nonsense.
Where are you taking Chili?
You're under arrest too

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
After thirty seconds in court, which involved the judge looking at them and sentancing them to death, Chili and Doctor Zbob find themselves in a poorly ventilated room.
Let's tell each other our life stories
fair enough
Two life stories later...
I cant' believe I'm stuck in the same room with this psycho
A beautiful princess trapped in a bird's body...
How about we try and escape?
I love you

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
When we get back to your dimenstion, marry me
O-kaayyy.... time for me to climb out this window here. Have a nice life.
Ten seconds later...
I cannot live without her! I must use this hammer and somehow get out of here too!
Down the thirty feet from the window later...
Back so soon?
I think I broke something

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
They're coming.
I hope they catch you. I'm leaving.
Here. Get in this box and I'll protect you
Here. Get in this sack and I'll beat you severely
Where's you get that sack anyway
Not Like I'd tell YOU...

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
An hour of running later...
what is this place?
Looks like a small village
Egad! A monster!
Oh no, not another one of THESE guys again!
Wait.. you're not a monster, just bear a strong resemblance to one. Might I ask what you're doing here?
what is this place?

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
The Cotton CandyMan then proceeded to explain that this was the land of CottoCandy, and all the people, the houses, everything was made of cotton candy. They had been arrested for mistaken identity.
Some strange monster looking very similar to Doctor Zbob, something called "The Knightt", was rampaging through towns and villages eating everything in sight
At the center of town is a magic telephone that will grant Doctor Zbob three wishes tomorrow
So... where do you want to spend the night?
This explanation has truly caused me to question my sanity

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
The next morning, Doctor Zbob was confronted with the magic telephone.
As long as I am imagining all this, I may as well wish to get out of here
No! That is the one thing you must not wish!
Oy vey. Pushy for a hallucination, aren't we?
If you wish to leave this place we are all doomed!
What's that? I think I hear a telephone ringing! Is it for me? I think so!

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
Uh... Since I cannot pick you up... I WISH ME AND CHILI WERE OUT OF THIS PLACE!
It was then Doctor Zbob discovered he was indeed no longer in the village, he was somewhere else - a thousand feet in the air!
You AGAIN?! I thought I left you at that village.
My LOVE! I am falling to my death but I shall enjoy every second of it

 

by WiLzzt
7-11-02
Since Doctor Zbob has approximately 6 seconds before he hits the ground at 1000 feet, neglecting air friction, he'd better make it snappy.
Please, say you love me at least once before I die!
well, he IS going to die, and I will flap my wings and live, I may as well make the kid happy...
...Please?
all right, already. I don't think you're entirely repulsive.
Cliffhanger!

 

by WiLzzt
7-12-02
Doctor Zbob and Chili fell unceremoniusly into a crashing airplane; miraculously, they were unharmed, though it does not seem they will be for long...
Good thing this airplane lacks a ceiling
What in the world is this?
Is that my love's voice?
Good thing that freak didn't make it, or...
My love! Are you hurt? Are you ok?
Y... You didn't die!

 

by WiLzzt
7-12-02
Just then, a farmer with a chihuahua duct-taped to his belly approaches!
Welcome aboard my airplane! I am the pilot!
Some pilot you are. The plane's about to go down in flames, in case you didn't notice.
Hehe... so it is!
Look! I've got a dog duct-taped to my belly!
If I have to choose which of my hallucinations to believe, you're out.

 

by WiLzzt
7-12-02
The horizon approaches - people are about to die!
This conversation doesn't appear to be getting me anywhere
There is no way off the moon?
You haven't figured a way out of this airplane thing, have you, Chili?
I'm going to watch from above until all I see is wreckage. Have a fun time dying.
In a minute I'll be gleefully assessing your mangled flesh!
I still love you

 

by WiLzzt
7-12-02
I wish I was back at my lab...
EEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE eeeeeeee eeeeeeee
Further adding to his confusion as to whether or not he is hallucinating, Doctor Zbob did not die from the crash.
I feel terrible

 

by WiLzzt
7-12-02
Undaunted by his perilous descent, unfettered by haunting images of the ghastly landing that ended all the lives in the plane but his, our amazing hero voyages courageously on!
Uggh...
The adventurous soul uncovers a cryptic clue, hidden on a TV screen!
What's this? "We all live under-ground now, this place is too ugly. Thank you, the Management."
And so, our gallant hero makes triumphantly toward the lone, infamous building!
Will to live... decreasing...

 

by WiLzzt
7-12-02
And now, the door...
What lies beyond this door? Life, death, some further strange mess I have yet to forsee?
*creak*
Well, are you coming in or not?
I hardly expected to see YOU here...

 

by WiLzzt
7-12-02
Inside the building's corridors, twisting like intestines deep into the ground...
This is the strangest place I have ever been!
Get used to it. It will be our home for the next few days, weeks, months... years maybe.
Dude, learn to ride the tables! They're awesome!
And, as quickly as he came, the dolphin zoomed off at top speed on a mahogany table!
How come he gets to zoom around on a table and I don't?
You haven't applied for a peromit yet. Here, I'll show you.

 

by WiLzzt
7-12-02
Before he had a chance to apply for a permit, Dr Zbob and Chili took the short walk down to where the continental breakfast was being served...
It's in here!
What to order, hm....
HELLO I AM J00R WAITER HEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHHAHUEHRUAEUE HEHUAEHUHAEUHAUHUAEHUAEHUUERUHG ARHAERHAEORBAEROUERBERAOREGEA RGNAERh3q343400382154y15¨V¨_¨´¨¢∙...
Just then, Dr Zbob found himself a thousand feet in the air again!
My feet still touch the ground... but how?
HEHEHHE J00 HAV LNGLGZ HHEUHEHUAHAU HAEU

 

by WiLzzt
7-12-02
Hey Dr Z! Your legs are like... a mile long!
So I noticed.
Oi! Waiter! Get him down from here!
HEUHEHUEHHUHU HEUHEOKEUHUEH HEUHUHUEUHHEH
And then, Dr. Zbob's legs collapsed!
I know what to do with this guy...
HUAHAUHURUUH AURHUHRRGAHG GHGHHH^%454,,

 

by WiLzzt
7-12-02
Just as he was about to raise his knife...
... Doctor Zbob found himself looking up at a great throne in space with some kid on it!
........... and you are?
...i am bov boy emperor of the universe...
If you're emperor of the universe, why don't you have a cooler wardrobe?
...don't diss my clothes...

 

by WiLzzt
7-12-02
In his nasal, monotone voice, Bov Boy, emperor of the universe, gives Dr. Zbob a lot to think about...
...you have traveled far doctor zbob but this is the end...
...you know as well as i that a scientist such as yourself cannot remain sane in this place for long....
Well, THAT'S true enough.
...i leave you to the hordes of anim-ated household objects... at their hands will you die...

 

by WiLzzt
7-12-02
This is the scene where Doctor Zbob gets chased by various household objects!
COME BACK HERE
Geez... get me out of here...
COME BACK HERE
No, wait... Where am I going?
COME BACK HERE

 

by WiLzzt
7-15-02
Finding himself back where he started, Dr Zbob decides to have something to eat.
I C00K FOR J00 HEEHEHHEUEHU HEUEHUEUHEUH HEUEHHUUHEUH
One VERY strange meal later...
Eugh... I KNEW I shouldn't have had a second helping of talking eggs...
HUEHUEHUUHUEH BYE BYE
... what in the world is that?
GREETINGS HUMAN I AM CAPTAIN LEGPASTE OF THE PLANET DEXTRON

 

by WiLzzt
7-15-02
Dr Zbob could not help but immediately notice that this bird's neck was sticking through a hole in the floor, and that struggling and screaming noises could be heard from somewhere under his feet.
PREPARE TO BE INGESTED
Some minutes later...
Wasn't Dr Z around here somewhere?
PREPARE TO BE INGESTED
PREPARE TO BE INGESTED

 

by WiLzzt
7-15-02
Next, Doctor Zbob and Chili find themselves sliding quickly down a giant blue esophagus!
The mouth is closing.
We're doomed!
Chili, do you hate me?
Uh... why?
They crash-land in a giant sea of blue digestive juices!
blublubblublubb
We've got to get out of here

 

by WiLzzt
7-15-02
What should we do, Chili?
Quick! Close your eyes and count to three!
Anything's better than slowly digesting in acid.
you got that right.
Cliffhanger!
One... Two... Thr...
One... Two... Thr...

 

by WiLzzt
7-15-02
Doctor Z and Chili find themselves facing half a dozen cars in pristine condition.
Behold! Yonder Cars!
Looks like we're in some kind of parking garage...
Getting in one, Dr Zbob turns the key he found already in the ignition.
Chili, buckle your seat belt.
Buckle my... why?
Time to end it all...
Doctor Z! You're headed right for the wall! STOP IT, DOCTOR Z! STOP!

 

by WiLzzt
7-15-02
Now's the time to end it all...
the endless barrage of impossibilities... I cannot exist in such a state any longer...
I can almost hear the angels singing in the distance...
DOCTOR Z, STOP THE CAR!! STOP THE CAR, YOU'RE GOING TO GET US BOTH KILLED! WE'RE HEADED RIGHT FOR THAT WALL!
Curious. We don't seem to be hitting any walls.
WE'LL WE'RE GONNA HERE IN A SECOND! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, YOU CRAZY JERK!

 

by WiLzzt
7-15-02
But, strangely enough, the further they drove, the further away the wall seemed to be...
(calm phrase concerning death)
(SCREAMING AND CARRYING ON)
In fact, everything around them began to stretch, as well - everything was getting longer and longer, even the car, the whole world distorting.
Wow, do you see what's happening outside the car?
(SCREAMING AND CARRYING ON)
Eventually they were nothing but vertical streaks in a strange land full of horizontal lines and stars...
Boy, this sure is weird.
(SCREAMING AND CARRYING ON)

 

by WiLzzt
7-18-02
As their eyes became used to the infinite stretching effect, Chili and Dr Z were able to see in front of them a television screen, flashing several messages:
"Come well to 3D Grid land"?
"Grid land of happy fun time trip is profound"?

 

by WiLzzt
7-18-02
"It has many robots here."
"They are here to make its to offer, or to possibly kill it."
"The withdrawal is of the left. Thanks the shopping 3D Grid Land!"
This is worse than reading my VCR manual!
You're still using VHS?
Hush your newfangledness.

 

by WiLzzt
7-18-02
Greetings. I am befriend the obliging/pleasing robot 56-J. I am to in or other you or you kill here.
...hmm?
Greetings. I am befriend the obliging/pleasing robot 56-J. I am to in or other you or you kill here.
Oh great. The robots talk just like that screen.
*bleep bleep bleep*
... "Made in Japan"?

 

by WiLzzt
7-18-02
Admirably! As by I admire your request now, I kill you.
Well, that was plain enough. Time for me to leave.
*bleep blip*
What is it now?
The fire is the profitable answering to your question!
AGGHHGAHAGHAH!!!!

 

by WiLzzt
7-18-02
Oh my...
Doctor Z? Are you all right?
...Chili....
What on earth happened?! I was gone for three minutes!
...Chili...Run for your life...
WHAT? What do you mean, "Run for your life?"!  Is this some kind of joke?

 

by WiLzzt
7-23-02
I'm going to go find out who did this to you, Doctor Z. Hang tight.
... please... don't...
Greetings. I am befriend the obliging/pleasing robot 56-J. I am to in or other you or you kill here.
Were you the one that fried Doctor Z?
I am not the doctor who is quiet with my you all Z?
He's the one over there.

 

by WiLzzt
7-23-02
He me and asked the I obliged/pleased in order to kill him.
Excuses, excuses. How about you tell me where I can get some help for him?
*bleep* *bleep* *gwhrrrrr*
Follow to me.
I wonder if he has a girlfriend...

 

by WiLzzt
7-24-02
Some ten minutes later, they arrive at a place which appears to be indoors...
WHAT IS IT, HEATHEN!
The behold arrives, with like the visitor and the picture from the distant land the red robot!
Well, then. Have her sent in at once!
Welcome, to my throne, puny mort.... hold on just a second...
I'd love to be stereotypically polite to royalty, but GET YOUR BUTT OFF THE THRONE AND HELP MY DYING FRIEND, TUBBO!

 

by WiLzzt
7-24-02
After Chili gave the details...
A medical team will be sent and your friend will be brought back here.
Oh, thank heavens! I do hope he'll be all right.
How goes it, heathen?
*bleep* *bleep*
This is terrible news! How should we break it to her?
*blip* *bipbip*

 

by WiLzzt
7-24-02
Obliging/Pleasing Robot 56-J returns...
Well, THAT's some good news, at least. Go ahead and send her in.
Dokey of okey!
Er... Chili?
Yes, Master Robot?
Your friend... he's not doing so good. We're doing all we can, but...
... but what?

 

by WiLzzt
7-24-02
Later, in the medical examnation room...
.... hey Chili...
Doctor Z! You look worse than before!
...oh yeah... one of the robots... accidentally friend me again...
That's horrible! When I tell Master Robot, heads will roll!
... how do the medics think I'm gonna do?
...

 

by WiLzzt
7-24-02
well.... how do they think I'm gonna do, Chili?
uh... basically, you're as dead as the chance for French world domination.
You're supposed to say "You'll be fine" so I can say "that's a lie."
DON'T TELL *ME* WHAT TO SAY, YOU STUPID PILE OF ASHES!
...you cut me, Chili. You cut me deep.
Sorry. Couldn't help myself.

 

by WiLzzt
7-24-02
So, anyway, I'll see you tomorrow, right?
...right?

 

by WiLzzt
7-24-02
Back in the throne room...
Oh Master Robot! I don't know what I'd do with myself if he died...
I understand completely, Chili. Mistress Robot had a virus once and I was beside myself.
Oh really? Was it one of theose .vbs ones from Singapore?
Let's not discuss my personal life, okay, Chili?
...you actually opened one of those?! And here I was thinking you were the acme of intelligence...
RRGH! Guards SIEZE HER!

 

by WiLzzt
7-24-02
After some small talk...
Well, it's not like I'm REALLY like that about him, you know? I know he's going to die, but it's like it's not affecting me.
I don't think so. I think you like him much more than you let on.
... I get the feeling this isn't GOOD news...
*blip* *bleeeep*
Is he dead yet?
On second thought, maybe you're right.

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