All comics by Yankowitz

Profile

 

by Yankowitz
2-23-05
How's it hanging
Not to well.
It kind of hurts, doesn't it ?
Dufus !
... don't you think ?
When I think, I could create my own characters and comics on www.gnomz.com ... I would'nt have to listen to the guy with the funny underwear.

 

by Yankowitz
2-23-05
-SNORES-
I can't think of anything else when he snores...
-SNORES-
I kind of like it, actually...
-SNORES-
It helps me forget the pain...

 

by Yankowitz
2-23-05
The pain... I can't stand it anymore... don't you ?
No no.. I fine, actually !
Are you kidding me ?
Yes.
Witty boy...

 

by Yankowitz
2-23-05
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
I love the view, though... It's beautifful !
Are you planning to invest in real estate ?
Well...

 

by Yankowitz
2-23-05
By the way what's your name ?
Christ... What's yours ?
Yankowitz, Brian Yankowitz.
Brian ? We used to be neighbors, didn't we ?
Yup.
It's a small world after all...

 

by Yankowitz
2-23-05
Heard the news Jesus ?
What news Brian ?
Mary Magdalena's dating Judas !
No way !
Yes way !
I'm crucified !

 

by Yankowitz
2-23-05
Brian, why did you get into this position anyway ?
Well, I was hungry. They condamned me because I stole a fish. And you ?
I used to teach people how to fish, that's why.
You know... I'm really sad we didn't meet before.
Yup.

 

by Yankowitz
2-23-05
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
Don't you think it's really freezing tonight, Jesus ?
Quite luckily it is, Brian...
Why "luckily" ?
It keeps the vultures away !

 

by Yankowitz
2-23-05
Did we really deserve this, Christ ?
I am afraid it is my Father's allmighty will.
OK... But why ?
You can't predict Father's allmighty will.
OK, but... Could it be your Father's allmighty will to send us a bunch of termites ?
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
2-23-05
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
Hey, Christ ? You know the good thing about crucifixion ?
What can it be, Brian ?
Well, you know... It's great occasion to think about life...
... or what's left of it...

 

by Yankowitz
2-24-05
-PAIN-
Alone, at last !
Why, Christ ? Isn't it nice to have visitors ?
Sure, Brian. The visitors are allright.
So what's the matter ?
It's the stones that they throw.

 

by Yankowitz
2-24-05
-PAIN-
You know, Brian... It might be a good thing for us to die !
How could it be, Christ ?
Well, at least we won't get the flu.
-PAIN-
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
2-24-05
-PAIN-
You know, Brian... This whole new religion idea was meant to be failure.
Why do you say that, Christ ?
Well, there was 12 apostles and me... that makes 13, and 13 means no luck.
But there will soon be only 12 apostles... So it might be a success, after all !
Great...

 

by Yankowitz
2-24-05
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
Say, Christ... Who's that guy who comes here everyday, never saying a word, just whisthling and wondering around?
Don't worry, Brian. It's only Peter...
Peter, the Apostle?
Yup. He's pretending he doesn't know me.

 

by Yankowitz
2-24-05
Ha ha ha ! HA HA HAHA ! HAHAHA !
Why are you laughing, Brian ?
I ain't laughing, Christ ! It's the worms... they're tickling my hands !
Oh... I see...
GEE ! It's stopped !
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
2-24-05
Hey, Christ ? Heard the news ?
What news, Brian ?
Judas has just hung himself !
-PAIN-
It doesn't seem to make you very happy...
I'd rather hear he is plotting against the Romans to free me!

 

by Yankowitz
2-24-05
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
Hey, Christ ? God's your father, right ?
He is, Brian.
You must have been A VERY BAD BOY !
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
2-24-05
You know, Christ... I'm really glad I got to know you better!
-PAIN-
Really... It's a little bit like going to a bar. You get to meet people, to talk with them...
-PAIN-
... except you don't get any beer...
... and you can't change seats when your neighbor's a pain in the ass.

 

by Yankowitz
2-24-05
You should see the bright side of your position, Christ...
What's so bright about it, Brian ?
Standing here on a cross is turning you into a symbol for your disciples. You will be remembered as "THE CHRIST" !
... great...
You're not being very enthousiastic...
I'd rather be remembered as "THE COUCH POTATO"...

 

by Yankowitz
2-24-05
I miss my old life in Jerusalem, Christ !
-PAIN-
I miss all the excitment ! I miss the market day, the military parades, all the show... You know what I miss the most ?
What's that, Brian ?
I miss the public executions !
You shouldn't ! You're part of the show, now !

 

by Yankowitz
2-25-05
Hey, Christ ? Didn't you use to do miracles ?
Yes I did, Brian.
Say... Why don't you do a little miracle and get us out of here ?
I can't.
Why's that ?
I'd have to join my hands and prey.

 

by Yankowitz
2-25-05
I'm thirsty ! Aren't, you Christ ?
Nope.
You're kidding me !
I'm not, Brian. I drink the blood dripping down my arms...
Gee ! That's gross !
Actually, no. It kind of tastes like wine !

 

by Yankowitz
2-25-05
I'm really impressed by your mother, Christ !
-PAIN-
I mean... she comes here everyday, keeping the bugs away from your wounds and all...
I know, Brian...
How dedicated !
Yes, my mother is a saint !

 

by Yankowitz
2-25-05
Although she comes here everyday, I noticed your mother doesn't talk to you much.
That's because she's ashamed of me, Brian.
Really, Christ ?
Well... you know... she's a jewish mother...
I see... She can't accept the fact you end up crucified...
No. She can't accept the fact I don't end up a lawyer !

 

by Yankowitz
2-25-05
-PAIN-
You know, Brian... I'm not afraid to die and join the world of the dead.
How can it be, Christ ?
I'll be back !
The poor guy... He thinks he is Arnold Schwarzenegger or something...
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
2-25-05
Jesus is sleeping like a baby... Lucky him ! At least I've got the flies humming 'round my wounds to distract me !
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Ha ha ! I can see you two ! I know what you're up to...
zzzzzzzzzzzzz
THEY'RE MAKING BAAAAABIES ! ! !
zzzzzzzzzzz

 

by Yankowitz
2-25-05
Isn't it ironic, Christ?
What, Brian ?
The way you die, I mean... What used to be your job again?
Carpenter.
... see...
Very funny...

 

by Yankowitz
2-25-05
... then the Roman asks me what I've done, so I tell him I stole a fish.... blablabla... blablabla... blablabla... blablabla...
-PAIN-
... then the Roman says I'm gonna be crucified, so I tell him it's OK, he's the boss blablabla blablabla... blablabla... blablabla...
-PAIN-
... And finally the Roman says : "I see you're a funny guy ! We're gonna crucify you just next to Jesus !"
Pervert !

 

by Yankowitz
2-25-05
Is it true, Christ, that you have thousands of believers all over Palestine ?
It is, Brian.
So why don't they stand up and rebel to free you ?
All my life I've been preaching love and non-violence.
Uhh... OK. No regrets ?
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
2-25-05
... And then I said : "if someone slaps you, let him slap your other cheek."
You really said that, Christ ?
Yes I did, Brian.
Isn't that kinda stupid ?
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
2-28-05
Visitor hour...
OUCH !
OUCH !
OUCH !
OUCH !
OUCH !
Are you people blind ? This is supposed to be a crucifixion, not a lapidation !

 

by Yankowitz
2-28-05
The Romans are being very sadistic. Don't you think, Christ ?
-PAIN-
I mean... Being riveted to a cross with old rusty nails coming through your flesh can be really painful...
-PAIN-
... and being exposed all day long to the sun and the dust doesn't make it better !
At least our underpants aren't to tight, Brian...

 

by Yankowitz
2-28-05
You know, Christ... That's just not fair !
What's the matter, Brian ?
I mean... Why can't I resurect like you?
-PAIN-
Honestly, why ?
Wrong father.

 

by Yankowitz
2-28-05
Hey ! Christ ?
What ?
You are being bitten by a mosquito !
Brian ?
Yes ?
I've got three rusty nails stuck into my flesh and bones...

 

by Yankowitz
2-28-05
Hey ! Christ ? Remember the fat guy that was to be crucified with us ?
Yes, Brian.
He died of a heart attack while carrying his cross to the Golgotha...
... Lucky bastard !
Don't say that...

 

by Yankowitz
2-28-05
-PAIN-
You know what, Brian ?
What Christ ?
I wish someone had told me it would take me so long to die.
Why ?
I would have taken a better last supper than a piece of bread and a glass of wine !

 

by Yankowitz
2-28-05
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
Look, Christ ! An eagle !
It's a vulture, Brian.
Uh... OK.
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
2-28-05
Damn, Christ ! It feels like my underpants are getting bigger everyday !
Does it, Brian ?
Yope. Just can't tell why...
Tell me, Brian... When's the last tie you've been to the bathroom ?
Uh... OK.
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
2-28-05
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
-HUNGER-
-PAIN-
HEY, THAT'S NEW!
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
3-01-05
Say, Christ...
Yes, brian ?
Is it true that you can walk on the water ?
Certainly not. Says who ?
... Your evangelist, Luke.
No kidding. Luke ? Don't tell me you believe this guy !

 

by Yankowitz
3-01-05
I was wondering, Christ...
-PAIN-
Do you think flies are kosher ?
I don't know Brian. Why are you asking ?
Well... It's the only edible thing around.
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
3-01-05
In the end, Christ... I think they crucified us because of our hairstyle...
What's your point, Brian ?
The long beard an the long hair, I mean...
Doesn't it makes us look kind of like Ben Laden ?
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
3-02-05
Visitor hour...
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
Isn't it weird ? They're not throwing rocks at us today...
-PAIN-
I mean, why aren't they throwing rocks as usual ? What do you think, Christ ?
It's shabbat today, Brian.

 

by Yankowitz
3-02-05
Another visitor hour...
OUCH !
OUCH !
Damn, Christ ! They're throwing rocks again !
OUCH !
It's like they're really enjoying themselves...
You know, Brian... Rock throwing is a multi-millenary tradition, here in Palestine.

 

by Yankowitz
3-03-05
Good night Christ !
Good night Brian. Tomorrow wil be another day !
zzzzzzz
zzzzzz
Yeah... right !
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
3-03-05
Uhh... Christ ? It seems like it's gonna rain...
That's great Brian ! We might get some water, at last !
Uh...OK. It could be thunderstorm, though...
FANTASTIC !
Why's that ?
We might get struck by lightning, at last !

 

by Yankowitz
3-03-05
I'm scared of the dark, Christ !
-PAIN-
I mean... all these strange crispy sounds I hear...
-PAIN-
I just can't tell where they come from...
It's only the worms in your wounds, Brian !

 

by Yankowitz
3-03-05
Christ ? Do you know if the nails they crucified us with are stainless ?
No, Brian. Why ?
Well, if they're not stainless they'll get rusty...
So what ?
If they do get rusty, we might be infected by the tetanus or something...
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
3-04-05
-PAIN-
Brian ? Remember the trial when Pilates condemned me to death... You was there with me, wasn't you ?
Yes, Christ. I was.
Now I'm standing here crucified, nothing can save me and you're still here me, aren't you?
Uh... yes...
Brian ? Don't you think you just bring me bad luck ?

 

by Yankowitz
3-04-05
Christ ? Do you think I'll become a saint ?
Why should you be a saint, Brian ?
Well, you know... I'm crucified like you, listening to your every word... I'm your last companion...
Do you believe in God, Brian ?
Uh... no. Why ?
-PAIN-

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