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| Figures released today by the Department of Brutality show vicious unmotivated murders have seen a 14% increase this quarter. | |
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| The Zone of Unimaginable Horror continues its unremitting expansion. Projections indicate it will engulf the planet within 18 months. | |
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| We occupy an amoral, godless universe where suffering is ubiquitous and death is both the only certainty and the only hope of comfort. Now a word from our sponsors... | |
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