All comics by Zero_Entropy

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by Zero_Entropy
2-11-02
St Valentines Day is just around the corner. A period of love and tender feelings and most importantly a COMMERCIALISED time!
Uh-huh. Your point being?
Well, Spitroast, i was just wondering if you are sending any Valentine Cards this Year?
Well ...
Sad, SAD "Man"
Let's just leave it at "The Postie will DEFINATELY be making a trip to my door come the 14th".

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-11-02
I read a report the other day which said that 10% of the population was gay.
Yeah, i read something similar.
So how many close blood relatives DO you have?
2 sets of Grandparents, Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister and an Uncle
I'm guessing its your Dad.
My Mum IS rather Mannish.

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-12-02
I am party to knowledge about one of the greatest hoaxes of all time. I know for a FACT that the original moon landings were faked.
There are alot of Conspiracy Theories going about. Most of them seem to involve the United States and practically all appear to be dillusional.
Yes, Sanchez, but what makes this "Theory" different is that i actually have proof!
You see thanks to hypnotherapy i can now remember traumatic events from my past. It turns out i was sexually abused as a child by Neil Armstrong with 1 of the sessions occuring on the 20/7/69

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-12-02
Do you ever feel like you should give something back to society Spitroast?
It's funny you should ask that. You see one of my main role models is Martin Luther King.
Yes, just like Marty i too "Have a dream".
Ethnic
The only major difference is that my dream involves 2 naked and readily willing girls, some wire coathangers, a nailgun, some rubber tubbing, a starved rat and a lump of brie.

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-12-02
So, Spitroast, you got any plans for tonight?
Well i've been thinking about organising a party for a while now so i reckon i'm gonna make tonight THE BIG NIGHT.
A party?! Why the celebration?
Ohh nothing really. I just reckon that one of my future wives is being born about now.
You're SICK!
*shrug*

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-12-02
I shagged your Mum last night. She was rolling around, squeling like you wouldnt believe. She LOVED my cock. She enjoyed it so much she made me breakfast in bed. The bacon wasnt cripsy enough tho.
So what do you think about THAT then?
Well i have to say that it's a coincidence cause i shaged YOUR Mum last night.
MUST - THINK - UP - WITTY - COMEBACK!
I was deliberately shit tho.

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-12-02
FUCK OFF AND DIE!
FUCK OFF AND DIE!
I'VE DECIDED TO CHANGE "SANCHEZ" AS A CHARACTER BECAUSE MY LIMITED EXPERIENCE OF THE CHARACTERS AVAILABLE DIDNT ALLOW ME TO USE HIM ORIGINALLY SO YOU CAN FUCK OFF AND DIE!
TWAT FEATURES!

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-12-02
St Valentines Day is just around the corner. A period of love and tender feelings and most importantly a COMMERCIALISED time!
Uh-huh. Your point being?
Well, Spitroast, i was just wondering if you are sending any Valentine Cards this Year?
Well ...
Sad, SAD "Man"
Let's just leave it at "The Postie will DEFINATELY be making a trip to my door come the 14th".

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-13-02
I read a report the other day which said that 10% of the population was gay.
Yeah, i read something similar.
So how many close blood relatives DO you have?
2 sets of Grandparents, Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister and an Uncle
I'm guessing its your Dad.
My Mum IS rather Mannish.

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-13-02
I am party to knowledge about one of the greatest hoaxes of all time. I know for a FACT that the original moon landings were faked.
There are alot of Conspiracy Theories going about. Most of them seem to involve the United States and practically all appear to be dillusional. They just tend to be the ravings of mad men
Just cause of a few crackpots the entire notion shouldnt get a bad rep. You see, Sanchez, i am well aware of what you are saying but what makes this "Theory" different is that i actually have proof!
You see thanks to hypnotherapy i can now remember traumatic events from my past. It turns out i was sexually abused as a child by Neil Armstrong with 1 of the sessions occuring on the 20/7/69

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-13-02
Do you ever feel like you should give something back to society Spitroast?
It's funny you should ask that. You see one of my main role models is Martin Luther King.
Yes, just like Marty i too "Have a dream".
Ethnic
The only difference is that my dream involves naked willing girls, a nailgun, rubber tubbing, a starved rat and a lump of brie.

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-13-02
So, Spitroast, you got any plans for tonight?
Well i've been thinking about organising a party for a while now so i reckon i'm gonna make tonight THE BIG NIGHT.
A party?! Why the celebration?
Ohh nothing really. I just reckon that one of my future wives is being born about now.
You're SICK!
*shrug*

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-13-02
I shagged your Mum last night. She was rolling around, squeling like you wouldnt believe. She LOVED my cock.
So what do you think about THAT then?
Well i have to say that it's a coincidence cause i shaged YOUR Mum last night.
MUST - THINK - UP - WITTY - COMEBACK!
I was deliberately shit tho.

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-13-02
Right okay. I shagged your mum again last night. She loved it and all that jazz. Blah blah blah. etc etc etc.
So what do you think about that?
My Mum's DEAD!
FUCK!
PLD ME!

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-13-02
Hey Mister, I've got a secret i need to tell someone.
Go ahead little boy. You can tell me your secret
The thing is Mister i see Ned people.
They're Ned ... but they just dont realise it.
... Bucky, Sunny D, Kappa Trackies, Baseball caps at stupid angles, Fiestas, Happy Hardcore ... HOW CAN THEY NOT REALISE?!

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-13-02
I reckon im turning into a bit of a sexual deviant. I continually think about committing Necrophelia.
Why am i not suprised?
I keep on seeing Aaliyah dancing away on TV and i REALLY want to fuck her even tho she's dead.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Ohhhhhhhhhh the harshness of reality.
Primarily because you would never be able to find enough of her to have your wicked way.

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-15-02
I read an interesting article in Rolling Stone the other day
About what?
It turns out that Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" was NOT a reference to iris pigment.
I can see the punchline coming from here.
Apparantly "Van the Man" was into Botty love.
IT - DOESNT - GET - ANY - EASIER!

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-15-02
In a hypothetical situation what would you choose? a.) Having your family raped and killed infront of you. or b.) Having sex with a man.
I hate both of the choices. I couldnt do either.
You HAVE to pick one. So what's it gonna be?
I wouldnt be happy about it but i suppose id have sex with a man to save the lives of my family.
Your SO GAY! Your SO GAY! Your SO GAY! Your SO GAY! Your SO GAY! Your SO GAY! Your SO GAY!
It was a trick question wasnt it?!

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-15-02
Fucking Goths are going to cause the end of the world with their Devil Worshipping ways.
I reckon Goths aren't as bad as people make out.
You're joking right?
Not at all. I think Goths have many redeeming qualities.
For a start they're prone to suicide.

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-15-02
I've noticed that you've not had any "Special Companionship" in a while, Spitroast, so i've gone and hired you a Hooker for this evening.
Thanks Sanchez. You're a real mate.
I'll go and leave you two alone now.
Don't hurry back.
Hi, - I - am - Will - i - am - Shat - ner.
The Bastard!

 

by Zero_Entropy
2-27-02
Hey Mister got 20p for a cup of Tea?
Yes
Gonna gie us it then?
No!
Bastard

 

by Zero_Entropy
3-10-02
Welcome to Fight Night people i'm your compere Sanchez. In the red corner all the way from The Pit of Hell we have The Prince of Lies, The Morning Star, ...
Ohhh yeah, what's my name bitch?! YEAH! Scream it! Scream it louder Bitch!
... The corrupter of souls, The Lord of Evil, Mr Satan "The Despoiler"
I am a Bad assed Dude! I Kiell you all mutherfucker good time!
And in the blue corner, our suprise opponent, all the way from Indonesia via India we have Mr Cholera "The Plague".
Arggghhhh. Ohhh Fuck! That Guy gives me the shits. I'm outta here!

 

by Zero_Entropy
3-11-02
Britney i only just heard you split up with that no good loser Justin and i want to take this opportunity to declare my love for you. I will do this with a poem i wrote.
"Your features and figure are devine, all i want to do is make you mine. Turn your beautiful dulcet tones, into screaming pleasure derived moans. Because our Love will forever last,
I want to fuck you both hard and fast."

 

by Zero_Entropy
3-13-02
Have you ever wondered why those people who wear lables such as GAP are called "Fashion Victims"?
I have no idea. Why?
Well, lets just say, that whenever i see one of those fuckwits wearing a GAP jumper
... i start victimising.
A Public service you don't have to pay taxes for ... BONANZA!

 

by Zero_Entropy
3-13-02
So do you have anything to say in response to these allegations?
The sheep's a fuckin liar!

 

by Zero_Entropy
3-13-02
So, "Sir", do you have anything to say in response to THESE allegations?
She didn't not consent. The Gag saw to that.

 

by Zero_Entropy
3-13-02
So, "Sir", do you have anything to say in response to THESE allegations?
I thought i felt a pulse, OK?!

 

by Zero_Entropy
3-13-02
So, "Sir", do you have anything to say in response to THESE allegations?
The car crashed itself. I wasn't even IN the driver's seat.

 

by Zero_Entropy
3-13-02
So, "Sir", do you have anything to say in response to THESE allegations?
Look, i found the dismembered corpse by the side of the road and was taking it to the Hospital to see if it could be resuscitated or something.

 

by Zero_Entropy
1-21-03
As your Lawyer i strongly advise you to show remorse for your actions in an attempt to get a more lenient sentence.
But i don't think i did anythig wrong.
I think everyone has some paedophile in them.
Especially young children

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