ahrange

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I think my liver is burning. Neanderthal in the morning, Neanderthal in the evening, Neanderthal at suppertime. With Neanderthal on a bagel, you can have Neanderthal any time.

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How to be a successful rock band

by ahrange
5-28-03

Step 1: Be born a scrawny boy. Meet other scrawny boys. Start a band. Wear as many t-shirts of obscure bands as you can.


	Let's call ourselves The All-American Rejects!


	I think that's already been done, man.

Step 2: Learn to play three power chords. Have your drummer quit out of frustration. Hire a new one. Write songs about every girl that dumped you in the last five years.


	Oh Jennifer, Jennifer, why? Come back! I need your screaming infidelities!


	I think that's already been done, man.

Step 3: Proclaim to all how anti-mainstream you are. Keep stating this position as your band shows up in music videos, tv, and eventually the radio. Congratulations, you're famous!


	Our fans want us to make one of those fake live videos.


	Sounds cool. Now if you'll excuse me, I have the rest of my three-year career as a band member to get drunk awaiting.

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