andydougan  
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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan, film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe, actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards, BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of Teatime®.
George W. Bush, President. Defended the *****houses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater, certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar, fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.

Films!

by andydougan
2-02-05
I want to die, but I lack the physical courage to commit suicide.
I wish I had cancer or something.
If you pay me I can arrange for someone to kill you.
I'm too shy to meet new people.

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