andydougan  
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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan, film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe, actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards, BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of Teatime®.
George W. Bush, President. Defended the *****houses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater, certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar, fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.

Films!

by andydougan
6-07-05
Christian Slater and Russell Crowe, incarcerated actors
What are you in for?
I threw a telephone at the face of a concierge who wasn't sufficiently deferent. You?
Ah, I sexually assaulted this old woman. And despite my repeated threats of violence, she's pressing charges (ALL TRUE).
I tell you, it's come to a pretty pass when the elite of the earth are treated like common criminals.
Sirs? It's dinner time. We've laid out the candle-lined red carpet.
Candles?! We wanted kneeling eunuchs! Don't you know who we are?

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