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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of TeatimeÂ®.
George W. Bush President. Defended the whorehouses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.

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Not, perhaps, the point he was trying to make

by andydougan
6-14-02


	No two democracies have ever gone to war with each other!


	Bah! What about NATO versus Serbia?


	Hmm. But NATO's not really democratic. I mean, it's made up of democracies, but it isn't one itself.


	Well, all right, how about the US versus Chile?


	But they weren't officially at war. US intelligence was just helping Chilean rebels. So it was really the CIA versus Chile, and the CIA isn't a democracy.


	Yeah. Looks like you might be right after all.

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andydougan
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