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| Hi. I'm boy detective and known superdork Encyclopedia Brown!!! | |
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| You could really use a good asskicking. | |
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| Hi. I'm E.B.'s bitchy, possibly butch, not-girlfriend Sally Wheeler! | |
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| You could use a good asskicking, too. | |
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| Hi! I'm J. MIchael Straczynski, creator of Babylon 5, Crusade, and the soon-to-be-released Lord of the Rangers! | |
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| Some problems even an asskicking can't solve... | |
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