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The Startling Adventures of Impressive Man 2
by
boorite
5-29-03
I'm not a professor. I flunked out of the Berkeley PhD chem program with a Master's. And my name isn't Evil. It's Tim.
Great Caesar's dressing gown! He actually believes what he is saying! Has he turned his Mind Ray on himself, to better play the part of an innocent?
You're saying that out loud, you know.
Your fly is open, you hideous malformed sack of toad pus.
If we're done here, I'm going to go call Security, OK?
Pretending not to read my thoughts. Very clever indeed.
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boorite's Comics
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05/29/03 - The Startling Adventures of Impressive Man 6
05/29/03 - The Startling Adventures of Impressive Man 5
05/29/03 - The Startling Adventures of Impressive Man 4
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02/26/03 - Does whatever a spider can
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02/03/03 - While standing in a tidal pool
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01/31/03 - Observational humor
01/31/03 - Canary comedy hour
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01/31/03 - Public arena-- no trespassing
01/31/03 - Evidence
01/30/03 - Independence Day
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01/29/03 - Take heed
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01/27/03 - cc 167: Razing the steaks
01/27/03 - CC 167: 1930's radio mix
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01/27/03 - Hard sell
01/27/03 - Focus group
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01/23/03 - Reality shows
01/23/03 - TV purgatory
01/23/03 - Huzzah
01/23/03 - Comic Number 600!!!
01/23/03 - The eve of distraction
01/23/03 - Celebrate good times, come on
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01/22/03 - Artistic differences
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01/21/03 - Taste test
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01/21/03 - Lowest common denominator
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01/16/03 - Ask around first
01/16/03 - Species emeritus
01/16/03 - Suicide diet
01/10/03 - Eugenics 101: The "finals" solution
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01/10/03 - Philosophy 404: All about Nothing
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12/14/02 - Untitled
12/10/02 - Tag Team Cup: Seeds of Doom!
11/08/02 - Infringing the copyrights of United Features Syndicate
11/05/02 - Jonathan Livingston Grackle
11/05/02 - Wider is better
11/05/02 - Light your lighters
11/05/02 - Rockin' Robin
10/31/02 - Today we honor my Dark Master
10/30/02 - For the living
10/30/02 - title
10/30/02 - Tribute to LongDongSilver
10/29/02 - Cowboy physics
10/29/02 - Ahmad's football television party
10/28/02 - Forgiven
10/28/02 - Church campout
10/28/02 - Campfire girl
10/28/02 - This conversation never happened
10/28/02 - Defensive
10/28/02 - Father knows best
10/28/02 - Pilgrimage
10/28/02 - Straight man
10/28/02 - Pass dropped at the goal line
10/26/02 - Consoling the bird
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10/26/02 - Sniper trial: Opening statements
10/26/02 - Pass overthrown
10/21/02 - Saved by no bell
10/17/02 - The 7th Voyage of Sinbad
10/17/02 - An all-new season of "Friends"
10/17/02 - Famous dead people
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10/15/02 - Sillygisms
10/15/02 - Wherein I argue religion
10/15/02 - Leprosy according to Boorite
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08/22/02 - Help desk 2
08/22/02 - Help desk
08/21/02 - Underused
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08/16/02 - Got religion?
08/16/02 - Found God
08/16/02 - With a Rebel yell
08/16/02 - Death on the High Seas
08/16/02 - It's mutiny
08/15/02 - Film School 10
08/15/02 - Film School 9
08/15/02 - Film School 8
08/15/02 - Film School 7
08/15/02 - Film School 6
08/15/02 - Film School 5
08/15/02 - Film School 4
08/15/02 - Film School 3
08/15/02 - Film School 2
08/15/02 - Film School 1
08/14/02 - HomoCop: The end?
08/14/02 - Arrested plot development
08/14/02 - In the name of the laaaaggghhh
08/14/02 - Not very good at this, is he?
08/14/02 - Special weapons
08/14/02 - Every tough guy his tag line
08/14/02 - Seen approaching from quite a distance
08/14/02 - Oopsie-daisy
08/14/02 - We are the law
08/14/02 - Policemen are made, not born
08/14/02 - The once and future cop
08/13/02 - 'Cause I'm a choker...
08/13/02 - When they grow up
08/13/02 - They work for Peanuts
08/13/02 - Freudian slip differential
08/12/02 - Sensitivity training
08/12/02 - Tobor or not Tobor? That is the question.
08/12/02 - People who need people are people who don't have robots
08/12/02 - CC 10001000: Automate this
08/08/02 - Gettin' culture
08/08/02 - Pun gun
08/08/02 - before kaufman does it
08/08/02 - Geek Race 2000
08/07/02 - The pun doctor
08/07/02 - Transference response
08/07/02 - Wee sleekit timorous bestie
08/07/02 - Wee sleekit timorous bestie
08/07/02 - Heavy rotation.
08/06/02 - CC 135: Tokyo driving lesson
08/06/02 - CC 135: Don't forget the Apoco-Lips-Balm
08/06/02 - CC 135: 'Big Grab' not meant to suggest grabbing big things
08/06/02 - CC 135: WARNING-- instructions enclosed
08/06/02 - Huzzah
08/06/02 - CC 135: Vroom
08/06/02 - CC 135: Liability classic
08/01/02 - CC 134: Play to our strengths
07/31/02 - See you in the showers
07/31/02 - The best defense is a brain the size of a walnut
07/31/02 - Harv rain is gonna fall
07/30/02 - Bird is the word.
07/30/02 - Harv, 10: Rack 'em
07/30/02 - Harv, scene 8: Single entendre
07/30/02 - Harv scene 6: f/stop
07/30/02 - Harv scene 4: There is none so blind as a blind person
07/30/02 - Harv Spangler, Scene 2: Brains of the operation
07/29/02 - CC 134: Never tape ANYTHING
07/29/02 - CC 134: Welcome to the Chesapeake Canyon
07/26/02 - CC 133: Apocalypse now and then
07/23/02 - CC 133: Get out of my mind
07/19/02 - I made this comic just to say hi to Obi
07/18/02 - Modern Marvels
07/16/02 - CC 131: Celebrate the moments of your life
07/16/02 - CC 131: Feel this.
07/09/02 - True story. I fear for our future.
06/26/02 - How to make a funny comics that isn't a puke
06/17/02 - CC 125: Sins of the Fathers, pt. 7
06/17/02 - CC 125: Sins of the Father, pt. 6
06/17/02 - CC 125: Sins of the Fathers, pt. 5
06/17/02 - CC 125: Sins of the Father, pt. 4
06/17/02 - CC 125: Sins of the fathers, pt. 3
06/17/02 - CC 125: Sins of the father, pt. 2
06/17/02 - CC125: Sins of the Father pt. 1
06/17/02 - That's show biz
06/10/02 - CC 123: Joy Luck Club
06/04/02 - CC 122: Kidnapped, part 4
06/04/02 - CC 122: Kidnapped, part 3
06/04/02 - CC 122: Kidnapped, part 2
06/04/02 - CC 122: Kidnapped
06/04/02 - Great debates: Kajun vs. boorite
06/03/02 - Dragnabbit
06/03/02 - Drag, that
05/29/02 - Criminal investigation
04/28/02 - CC117: Act locally
04/27/02 - War on antiwar
04/25/02 - CC 116: Lost Ark of the Coverup
04/24/02 - Oversight
04/24/02 - Smackdown!
04/18/02 - CC 114: Gumpcut
04/18/02 - CC114: Gone with the Wind, ending #381
04/18/02 - CC114: Boorite's "The Birds"
04/18/02 - CC 114: Rear Window-- first draft
04/18/02 - CC 114: Robocop outtakes
04/18/02 - CC 114: Jaws outtakes. Dunh-dunh. Dunh-dunh.
04/16/02 - Sacrament of Conformation
04/16/02 - Sunday Bloody Sunday
04/16/02 - On the way to the Forums
04/09/02 - Supporter
04/04/02 - When I get home tonight
04/02/02 - CC110: Here's a mystery-- five bucks for Milk Duds?
04/02/02 - That's what I call "fringe"
04/02/02 - House Hunt
03/21/02 - Dragon auditor
03/21/02 - What the dog dragged in
03/21/02 - Drag
03/21/02 - Jumpin' dragons on a pogo stick
03/21/02 - Dragons slay me
03/21/02 - Drag 'n' Slay 'Er
03/21/02 - Drag Unslayer
03/21/02 - Draggin Slayer
03/21/02 - Dragonslayer
03/01/02 - Old? S'cool.
02/28/02 - Meanwhile, somewhere in Tampa
02/28/02 - Vital functions
02/26/02 - Action movie in 3 panels
02/26/02 - Blue lake of fire, sulphurous screen of death
01/30/02 - Because we care
01/25/02 - Ads that subtract
01/25/02 - Chicken angst
01/25/02 - Planet of the Apes: A brief review
01/15/02 - Back-to-school: Culture shock
01/08/02 - Bar none
01/08/02 - It's that windy
01/04/02 - Tag Team Cup Steel Cage Death Match
01/04/02 - Aquarium II
01/02/02 - Typecast again
01/02/02 - How to tell if he's on drugs
01/02/02 - Aquarium
01/02/02 - Officer Shaky
01/02/02 - Natural law
01/02/02 - All along the Watchtower
12/11/01 - Cowboy Harmonics
12/10/01 - Checking "It" Twice, Part II
12/06/01 - Shifty the Snowman
12/06/01 - Animal Acts of the Apostles
12/06/01 - Character builder
12/06/01 - Clownliness is next to godliness
12/06/01 - Magical miracle clown
12/06/01 - Something godlike
12/06/01 - Revisionary
12/06/01 - Make me a Shirley Temple
12/06/01 - Will it play in Peoria?
12/06/01 - Terrific grades but no trial experience
12/06/01 - We were counting on eternity together
12/06/01 - Big J's eyes are on your lunch, you fat jolly old bastard
12/06/01 - Hell hath its good points
12/05/01 - Cowboy fisting
12/04/01 - That's cool
12/04/01 - Trust in Jesus
12/04/01 - Non-compete Claus
12/04/01 - Camouflage
12/04/01 - CC83: It rhymes with "wit"
12/04/01 - CC83: Witty banter loosens things up
12/04/01 - CC83: Sleeping derangements
12/04/01 - CC83: That's pretty personal
12/04/01 - Almost true campus tales: Initial impression
11/21/01 - New Testament Outtakes: Conversion
11/21/01 - It ain't rocket science. OK, it is, actually.
11/21/01 - Movie in 3 panels: The Fly
11/21/01 - User-friendly
11/21/01 - Cast away but not far enough
11/21/01 - The way we were
11/21/01 - I'm with the band
11/21/01 - Cowboy Metallurgy
11/21/01 - Holiday greetings
11/21/01 - BBQ'd liver
11/19/01 - Tandem comic cup: Quality, Value, Crap
11/19/01 - Just lucky
11/19/01 - Cowboy Inside the NBA
11/19/01 - Maternal clock
11/19/01 - Maternal clock
11/19/01 - Maternal clock
11/19/01 - Maternal clock
11/19/01 - At the end of a short pier, somewhere near Miami
11/19/01 - Xtra Profits
11/19/01 - What's the big deal?
11/19/01 - Repair to the dictionary
11/19/01 - Be prepared
11/16/01 - Goodbye, artistic integrity
11/16/01 - CC80: A good influence
11/15/01 - This state of alert thing is real real high
11/15/01 - Highest state of alert
11/14/01 - Old Testament outtakes I
11/13/01 - CC79: Never happened in San Francisco
11/13/01 - CC79: Round on the ends, high in the middle
11/07/01 - CC77: Heirless planets
11/07/01 - CC77: Who?
11/07/01 - No refuge for mountains or those who harbor them
11/06/01 - Quantum nothing
11/05/01 - CC77: Details, details
11/05/01 - CC77: But wait-- it's an all-new episode
11/05/01 - CC77: Got self-awareness?
11/05/01 - CC77: Even the Borg have SOME standards
11/05/01 - CC77: I can't be expected to joust under these conditions
11/02/01 - To know know know them. . .
10/25/01 - Extremely foreign policy
10/21/01 - Our leaders are the finest men and we elect em again & again
10/21/01 - OH, I get it.
10/21/01 - Unexpurgated Hee-Haw
10/19/01 - That's something, anyway
10/19/01 - Wild Feudal Monarchy
10/19/01 - Model behavior
10/16/01 - Permtacular
10/16/01 - Censors freaked up my movie
10/15/01 - It's the Mind
10/15/01 - Bonfire of inanities II
10/15/01 - Bonfire of inanities
10/15/01 - True tales from campus: Sorry, we don't accept money.
10/12/01 - Use your delusion
10/12/01 - Platonic nothings
10/12/01 - Selling it door-to-door
10/10/01 - Things to do in Australia when you're dead
10/08/01 - Worldwide Web
10/05/01 - CC70: To seek out and boldly blah blah blah yada yada yada
10/04/01 - Crouching Donkey, Hidden Sausage
10/03/01 - CC69: That's What I Want (Money, not Tobor)
10/03/01 - CC 69: Finally, the Money Shot
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Act I, scene 6
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Act I, scene 5
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Act I, scene 4
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Act I, scene 3
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Act I, scene 2
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Act I, scene 1
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Prologue
09/22/01 - Imagine all the people getting cornholed
09/20/01 - Fight club for dummies
09/19/01 - No damned cat, no damned cradle
09/17/01 - He's in a better place now
09/17/01 - A million for this beater?
09/17/01 - The letter U and the numeral 2
09/17/01 - Arse is for Robot
09/17/01 - The Smoking Manholes in concert
09/17/01 - Arse Comica
09/10/01 - That explains it
09/10/01 - Make-believe time
09/06/01 - CC 60: Descoladalypse Now, Redux
09/06/01 - CC 60:The truth revealed, Fatboy Slim Remix
08/23/01 - Feedback
08/20/01 - Byrned
08/17/01 - Movie in 3 panels: Big
08/17/01 - Tickle Me Wirthling
08/17/01 - CC54: There's nothing quite so personal as a poke in the bag
08/17/01 - Tribute to Samir
08/15/01 - CC53: A big hand for Ernest Borgnine
08/14/01 - Stripcreator: Offal you can't refuse
08/09/01 - Comix Cup 3: A lifetime of development
08/09/01 - Scotland needs more sheep
08/09/01 - Yes, I know it's winter down there, but so what
08/06/01 - CC 51: At least they're not Scientologists
08/02/01 - CC50 Example
08/02/01 - Pomo, Ohio
08/01/01 - CC 49: I'm not making this up
07/25/01 - Found a job
07/24/01 - Captain Long Briefs
07/24/01 - Full court press conference
07/24/01 - Knock knock some heads
07/24/01 - Joke joke. Who's there?
07/23/01 - Snap into a Slim DICK Jim
07/20/01 - Taliban everything
07/20/01 - CC 46: Death opens its mouth and says "ahhh"
07/19/01 - The call of Nature
07/19/01 - This live traffic report was pre-recorded
07/19/01 - DC stands for "drive courteously!"
07/19/01 - Can't stand in the place where I live
07/19/01 - Can't stand in the place where I live
07/13/01 - This should help.
07/13/01 - CC44: Crabby in the labby
07/13/01 - CC 44: Die, Judge, Die
07/12/01 - It ain't over 'til the big red robot anally violates you
07/11/01 - CC 43!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
07/11/01 - Friday the 13th Part Gabe
07/09/01 - Bad joke derby: 20 questions
07/09/01 - CC42: Wirthling! Wirthling! Go into the light, Wirthling!
07/09/01 - CC 42: that 31-derful feeling
07/09/01 - CC 42: That's one way to score Vicodin
07/09/01 - It doesn't wash
07/05/01 - The war has won
07/02/01 - Man, evolution is a ripoff
07/02/01 - CC41: And he's fluent in Bocce Balls!
07/02/01 - CC41: Threepio is not necessarily gay
07/02/01 - CC41: Open the pod bay door-- I'm getting out here
07/02/01 - CC41: Next rest area 1,437,901 miles
06/22/01 - CC 39: Jenna Bush is a hot little tramp, ain't she?
06/21/01 - CC 38: ok, not really
06/21/01 - CC 38: Not a summer sport
06/19/01 - And Zen some
06/18/01 - CC37: Conservative Compassionatism
06/15/01 - This is how it's done
06/14/01 - The lady or the Hole Hawg
06/14/01 - I know what I said
06/14/01 - Make your time
06/11/01 - CC 36: Resistance is useful
06/11/01 - Data glut
06/11/01 - Uh....
06/11/01 - Uh....
06/08/01 - Dirty undead tricks
06/07/01 - Oy, what a day I'm having...
06/07/01 - CC35 Don'ts
06/07/01 - Smoking makes your dick bigger
06/06/01 - Casting Call
06/06/01 - Two-Guard Monte
06/06/01 - Jesus, Food Network Fan
06/06/01 - Credit where credit is due
06/05/01 - CC 34: How low is the humor, mama?
05/31/01 - Since you asked
05/31/01 - Introducing Flatulence Fraulein
05/31/01 - CC's 31 + 32, though both are over
05/31/01 - I married Unix
05/30/01 - I'll see you in 000C:52D3
05/30/01 - Satan: Dark Lord, Image Consultant
05/30/01 - The little annoyances of being nailed to a piece of wood
05/30/01 - Pedantic Tire and Lube
05/11/01 - Tobor longs for the sweet release of death or sodomy
05/11/01 - Tobor longs for the sweet release of death or sodomy
05/11/01 - Position wanted for experienced sodomy robot
05/11/01 - Position wanted for experienced sodomy robot
05/11/01 - CC 29: Bugger
05/11/01 - CC 29: Bugger
05/08/01 - How the mighty are fallen
05/08/01 - How the mighty are fallen
05/07/01 - Deities old and new
05/07/01 - Deities old and new
05/04/01 - CC 28: 80's Music History, pt. 1
05/04/01 - CC 28: 80's Music History, pt. 1
05/03/01 - CC 27: Blow toothpaste confetti out your ass interstice
05/03/01 - CC 27: Blow toothpaste confetti out your ass interstice
04/26/01 - To the tagline heap with ye
04/25/01 - Tobor vs. Dr. Pedantic
04/23/01 - cc25: Two word unfunnies
04/21/01 - Ships that make passes in the night
04/20/01 - Not CC24, not even close
04/20/01 - Not CC24 but close
04/20/01 - CC 24: Whose wedding tackle is it, anyway?
04/17/01 - CC23: The worst contest ever
04/13/01 - Home of Adolph Coors
04/13/01 - Very punctual.
04/13/01 - CC22: Three one-trick-ponies in one
04/12/01 - Wine tasting for nimrods
04/12/01 - That's show biz
04/12/01 - I love my job
04/12/01 - My first sale!
04/11/01 - Proverbz #whatever
04/11/01 - Comix help: http://libpc22.lib.umbc.edu/proverbs.php3
04/10/01 - Giddyap
04/10/01 - Great crash scene pickup lines
04/10/01 - Great crash scene pickup lines
04/10/01 - Mentor
04/10/01 - Spring spring spring
04/09/01 - Springtime on campus
04/09/01 - Whoopee-ti-yi-yi-yi
04/09/01 - Sado-penguin jams on you
04/09/01 - Comcis Contest XX: Too late anyway
04/09/01 - Comics Contest XXI: As ruled, no direct mention of Wirthling
04/06/01 - Sequel fever
04/06/01 - I still like this genre
04/05/01 - Comics Contest XIX: Thar she blows
04/04/01 - Feeping creaturism
04/04/01 - Finnish shit
04/03/01 - But mom, they're swimmers
04/03/01 - So we hired him
04/03/01 - Default clone sex joke monstrosity
04/02/01 - Sex all askew... sex with a gnu...
04/02/01 - Dubya 'splains hisself
04/02/01 - Heuristic transitional capability
04/02/01 - Serial Comic: the April-soft freshness of Downey
04/02/01 - Comics Contest XVIII: r001z
04/02/01 - Boorite vs. h4x0rz, pt. 2
04/02/01 - Boorite vs. h4x0rz
04/02/01 - Memm-reeeeez
03/31/01 - Good boy. Yeah, that's good boy.
03/31/01 - Good boy. Yeah, that's good boy.
03/31/01 - Happy trails
03/31/01 - We get transmission
03/31/01 - 2 of the final 4 recommend trash talking
03/31/01 - Sensitivity training III
03/31/01 - Comic Contest XVII: Booze and cheers
03/30/01 - Delta blow
03/30/01 - Serial Comic: Bloody Mary Worth, episode 1
03/30/01 - It's tits day
03/30/01 - Big tits
03/29/01 - Tonight on Food Network
03/29/01 - Kick it up yours
03/29/01 - The WIGU ungulate sues for change
03/29/01 - Suckology
03/29/01 - Boy, is my face red
03/29/01 - Or maybe it does
03/28/01 - Mmmm, lemony
03/28/01 - And then we go for sushi
03/28/01 - If you don't get this one, I envy you
03/28/01 - Movie in 3 panels: Toy Story 2
03/28/01 - Ponder us
03/28/01 - Movie in three panels: Basquiat
03/28/01 - Feel this
03/27/01 - Smells like evil spirits
03/27/01 - Can't we all just get along?
03/27/01 - Sensitivity training II
03/27/01 - A surplus of information
03/27/01 - Diagnosis: Chunder
03/27/01 - There's got to be a morning after
03/26/01 - Rape me again
03/26/01 - Not again
03/26/01 - Smile when ya accuse me o' nepotism
03/26/01 - Sensitivity training
03/26/01 - Epidemic of memesles
03/26/01 - The importance of clarity
03/26/01 - Movie in Three Panels: Wonder Boys
03/26/01 - How sharper than a serpent's tooth
03/23/01 - S0le uva n00 machine!!1!!1
03/23/01 - Father, who art thou?
03/16/01 - Past their prime.
03/16/01 - Fourth-day retrospective
03/16/01 - Only your best friend will tell you
03/16/01 - Tonight on Animal Planet
03/16/01 - Self-referential disclaimer, ostensibly comical, part 2
03/16/01 - The voice of reason
03/16/01 - Self-referential disclaimer, ostensibly comical.
03/16/01 - Try this at home
03/16/01 - Opposing viewpoint
03/15/01 - Hoof and mouth vignettes
03/15/01 - Cowed
03/15/01 - From the hip
03/15/01 - This episode of Rawhide brought to you by KY Jelly
03/15/01 - Desperation sets in
03/15/01 - Phrase plague: Catch it.
03/15/01 - Inspirational success story #1,234,912
03/15/01 - I see your point, part 2
03/15/01 - Company policy
03/15/01 - Public discourse 101
03/15/01 - You think I do this for free?
03/14/01 - Whose cuisine will reign supreme?
03/14/01 - It's what's for dinner
03/14/01 - Revenge of the Defaults
03/14/01 - The secret of My success
03/14/01 - War games were beginning
03/13/01 - Bad boys, bad boys
03/13/01 - Papillon outtake #34
03/13/01 - I see your point
03/13/01 - Some problems solve themselves
03/13/01 - Heat the press
03/13/01 - To cheat Death
03/13/01 - Saved again
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