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Romancing the Zeta-Jones
by
boorite
7-09-04
Michael Douglas may be an oldish gray man, but he commands great material resources.
So the fuck what?
So he can command Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Well?
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boorite's Comics
01/10/12 - Dougan Comes Alive
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10/29/02 - Ahmad's football television party
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08/15/02 - Film School 8
08/15/02 - Film School 7
08/15/02 - Film School 6
08/15/02 - Film School 5
08/15/02 - Film School 4
08/15/02 - Film School 3
08/15/02 - Film School 2
08/15/02 - Film School 1
08/14/02 - HomoCop: The end?
08/14/02 - Arrested plot development
08/14/02 - In the name of the laaaaggghhh
08/14/02 - Not very good at this, is he?
08/14/02 - Special weapons
08/14/02 - Every tough guy his tag line
08/14/02 - Seen approaching from quite a distance
08/14/02 - Oopsie-daisy
08/14/02 - We are the law
08/14/02 - Policemen are made, not born
08/14/02 - The once and future cop
08/13/02 - 'Cause I'm a choker...
08/13/02 - When they grow up
08/13/02 - They work for Peanuts
08/13/02 - Freudian slip differential
08/12/02 - Sensitivity training
08/12/02 - Tobor or not Tobor? That is the question.
08/12/02 - People who need people are people who don't have robots
08/12/02 - CC 10001000: Automate this
08/08/02 - Gettin' culture
08/08/02 - Pun gun
08/08/02 - before kaufman does it
08/08/02 - Geek Race 2000
08/07/02 - The pun doctor
08/07/02 - Transference response
08/07/02 - Wee sleekit timorous bestie
08/07/02 - Wee sleekit timorous bestie
08/07/02 - Heavy rotation.
08/06/02 - CC 135: Tokyo driving lesson
08/06/02 - CC 135: Don't forget the Apoco-Lips-Balm
08/06/02 - CC 135: 'Big Grab' not meant to suggest grabbing big things
08/06/02 - CC 135: WARNING-- instructions enclosed
08/06/02 - Huzzah
08/06/02 - CC 135: Vroom
08/06/02 - CC 135: Liability classic
08/01/02 - CC 134: Play to our strengths
07/31/02 - See you in the showers
07/31/02 - The best defense is a brain the size of a walnut
07/31/02 - Harv rain is gonna fall
07/30/02 - Bird is the word.
07/30/02 - Harv, 10: Rack 'em
07/30/02 - Harv, scene 8: Single entendre
07/30/02 - Harv scene 6: f/stop
07/30/02 - Harv scene 4: There is none so blind as a blind person
07/30/02 - Harv Spangler, Scene 2: Brains of the operation
07/29/02 - CC 134: Never tape ANYTHING
07/29/02 - CC 134: Welcome to the Chesapeake Canyon
07/26/02 - CC 133: Apocalypse now and then
07/23/02 - CC 133: Get out of my mind
07/19/02 - I made this comic just to say hi to Obi
07/18/02 - Modern Marvels
07/16/02 - CC 131: Celebrate the moments of your life
07/16/02 - CC 131: Feel this.
07/09/02 - True story. I fear for our future.
06/26/02 - How to make a funny comics that isn't a puke
06/17/02 - CC 125: Sins of the Fathers, pt. 7
06/17/02 - CC 125: Sins of the Father, pt. 6
06/17/02 - CC 125: Sins of the Fathers, pt. 5
06/17/02 - CC 125: Sins of the Father, pt. 4
06/17/02 - CC 125: Sins of the fathers, pt. 3
06/17/02 - CC 125: Sins of the father, pt. 2
06/17/02 - CC125: Sins of the Father pt. 1
06/17/02 - That's show biz
06/10/02 - CC 123: Joy Luck Club
06/04/02 - CC 122: Kidnapped, part 4
06/04/02 - CC 122: Kidnapped, part 3
06/04/02 - CC 122: Kidnapped, part 2
06/04/02 - CC 122: Kidnapped
06/04/02 - Great debates: Kajun vs. boorite
06/03/02 - Dragnabbit
06/03/02 - Drag, that
05/29/02 - Criminal investigation
04/28/02 - CC117: Act locally
04/27/02 - War on antiwar
04/25/02 - CC 116: Lost Ark of the Coverup
04/24/02 - Oversight
04/24/02 - Smackdown!
04/18/02 - CC 114: Gumpcut
04/18/02 - CC114: Gone with the Wind, ending #381
04/18/02 - CC114: Boorite's "The Birds"
04/18/02 - CC 114: Rear Window-- first draft
04/18/02 - CC 114: Robocop outtakes
04/18/02 - CC 114: Jaws outtakes. Dunh-dunh. Dunh-dunh.
04/16/02 - Sacrament of Conformation
04/16/02 - Sunday Bloody Sunday
04/16/02 - On the way to the Forums
04/09/02 - Supporter
04/04/02 - When I get home tonight
04/02/02 - CC110: Here's a mystery-- five bucks for Milk Duds?
04/02/02 - That's what I call "fringe"
04/02/02 - House Hunt
03/21/02 - Dragon auditor
03/21/02 - What the dog dragged in
03/21/02 - Drag
03/21/02 - Jumpin' dragons on a pogo stick
03/21/02 - Dragons slay me
03/21/02 - Drag 'n' Slay 'Er
03/21/02 - Drag Unslayer
03/21/02 - Draggin Slayer
03/21/02 - Dragonslayer
03/01/02 - Old? S'cool.
02/28/02 - Meanwhile, somewhere in Tampa
02/28/02 - Vital functions
02/26/02 - Action movie in 3 panels
02/26/02 - Blue lake of fire, sulphurous screen of death
01/30/02 - Because we care
01/25/02 - Ads that subtract
01/25/02 - Chicken angst
01/25/02 - Planet of the Apes: A brief review
01/15/02 - Back-to-school: Culture shock
01/08/02 - Bar none
01/08/02 - It's that windy
01/04/02 - Tag Team Cup Steel Cage Death Match
01/04/02 - Aquarium II
01/02/02 - Typecast again
01/02/02 - How to tell if he's on drugs
01/02/02 - Aquarium
01/02/02 - Officer Shaky
01/02/02 - Natural law
01/02/02 - All along the Watchtower
12/11/01 - Cowboy Harmonics
12/10/01 - Checking "It" Twice, Part II
12/06/01 - Shifty the Snowman
12/06/01 - Animal Acts of the Apostles
12/06/01 - Character builder
12/06/01 - Clownliness is next to godliness
12/06/01 - Magical miracle clown
12/06/01 - Something godlike
12/06/01 - Revisionary
12/06/01 - Make me a Shirley Temple
12/06/01 - Will it play in Peoria?
12/06/01 - Terrific grades but no trial experience
12/06/01 - We were counting on eternity together
12/06/01 - Big J's eyes are on your lunch, you fat jolly old bastard
12/06/01 - Hell hath its good points
12/05/01 - Cowboy fisting
12/04/01 - That's cool
12/04/01 - Trust in Jesus
12/04/01 - Non-compete Claus
12/04/01 - Camouflage
12/04/01 - CC83: It rhymes with "wit"
12/04/01 - CC83: Witty banter loosens things up
12/04/01 - CC83: Sleeping derangements
12/04/01 - CC83: That's pretty personal
12/04/01 - Almost true campus tales: Initial impression
11/21/01 - New Testament Outtakes: Conversion
11/21/01 - It ain't rocket science. OK, it is, actually.
11/21/01 - Movie in 3 panels: The Fly
11/21/01 - User-friendly
11/21/01 - Cast away but not far enough
11/21/01 - The way we were
11/21/01 - I'm with the band
11/21/01 - Cowboy Metallurgy
11/21/01 - Holiday greetings
11/21/01 - BBQ'd liver
11/19/01 - Tandem comic cup: Quality, Value, Crap
11/19/01 - Just lucky
11/19/01 - Cowboy Inside the NBA
11/19/01 - Maternal clock
11/19/01 - Maternal clock
11/19/01 - Maternal clock
11/19/01 - Maternal clock
11/19/01 - At the end of a short pier, somewhere near Miami
11/19/01 - Xtra Profits
11/19/01 - What's the big deal?
11/19/01 - Repair to the dictionary
11/19/01 - Be prepared
11/16/01 - Goodbye, artistic integrity
11/16/01 - CC80: A good influence
11/15/01 - This state of alert thing is real real high
11/15/01 - Highest state of alert
11/14/01 - Old Testament outtakes I
11/13/01 - CC79: Never happened in San Francisco
11/13/01 - CC79: Round on the ends, high in the middle
11/07/01 - CC77: Heirless planets
11/07/01 - CC77: Who?
11/07/01 - No refuge for mountains or those who harbor them
11/06/01 - Quantum nothing
11/05/01 - CC77: Details, details
11/05/01 - CC77: But wait-- it's an all-new episode
11/05/01 - CC77: Got self-awareness?
11/05/01 - CC77: Even the Borg have SOME standards
11/05/01 - CC77: I can't be expected to joust under these conditions
11/02/01 - To know know know them. . .
10/25/01 - Extremely foreign policy
10/21/01 - Our leaders are the finest men and we elect em again & again
10/21/01 - OH, I get it.
10/21/01 - Unexpurgated Hee-Haw
10/19/01 - That's something, anyway
10/19/01 - Wild Feudal Monarchy
10/19/01 - Model behavior
10/16/01 - Permtacular
10/16/01 - Censors freaked up my movie
10/15/01 - It's the Mind
10/15/01 - Bonfire of inanities II
10/15/01 - Bonfire of inanities
10/15/01 - True tales from campus: Sorry, we don't accept money.
10/12/01 - Use your delusion
10/12/01 - Platonic nothings
10/12/01 - Selling it door-to-door
10/10/01 - Things to do in Australia when you're dead
10/08/01 - Worldwide Web
10/05/01 - CC70: To seek out and boldly blah blah blah yada yada yada
10/04/01 - Crouching Donkey, Hidden Sausage
10/03/01 - CC69: That's What I Want (Money, not Tobor)
10/03/01 - CC 69: Finally, the Money Shot
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Act I, scene 6
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Act I, scene 5
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Act I, scene 4
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Act I, scene 3
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Act I, scene 2
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Act I, scene 1
09/23/01 - Strip Siege: Prologue
09/22/01 - Imagine all the people getting cornholed
09/20/01 - Fight club for dummies
09/19/01 - No damned cat, no damned cradle
09/17/01 - He's in a better place now
09/17/01 - A million for this beater?
09/17/01 - The letter U and the numeral 2
09/17/01 - Arse is for Robot
09/17/01 - The Smoking Manholes in concert
09/17/01 - Arse Comica
09/10/01 - That explains it
09/10/01 - Make-believe time
09/06/01 - CC 60: Descoladalypse Now, Redux
09/06/01 - CC 60:The truth revealed, Fatboy Slim Remix
08/23/01 - Feedback
08/20/01 - Byrned
08/17/01 - Movie in 3 panels: Big
08/17/01 - Tickle Me Wirthling
08/17/01 - CC54: There's nothing quite so personal as a poke in the bag
08/17/01 - Tribute to Samir
08/15/01 - CC53: A big hand for Ernest Borgnine
08/14/01 - Stripcreator: Offal you can't refuse
08/09/01 - Comix Cup 3: A lifetime of development
08/09/01 - Scotland needs more sheep
08/09/01 - Yes, I know it's winter down there, but so what
08/06/01 - CC 51: At least they're not Scientologists
08/02/01 - CC50 Example
08/02/01 - Pomo, Ohio
08/01/01 - CC 49: I'm not making this up
07/25/01 - Found a job
07/24/01 - Captain Long Briefs
07/24/01 - Full court press conference
07/24/01 - Knock knock some heads
07/24/01 - Joke joke. Who's there?
07/23/01 - Snap into a Slim DICK Jim
07/20/01 - Taliban everything
07/20/01 - CC 46: Death opens its mouth and says "ahhh"
07/19/01 - The call of Nature
07/19/01 - This live traffic report was pre-recorded
07/19/01 - DC stands for "drive courteously!"
07/19/01 - Can't stand in the place where I live
07/19/01 - Can't stand in the place where I live
07/13/01 - This should help.
07/13/01 - CC44: Crabby in the labby
07/13/01 - CC 44: Die, Judge, Die
07/12/01 - It ain't over 'til the big red robot anally violates you
07/11/01 - CC 43!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
07/11/01 - Friday the 13th Part Gabe
07/09/01 - Bad joke derby: 20 questions
07/09/01 - CC42: Wirthling! Wirthling! Go into the light, Wirthling!
07/09/01 - CC 42: that 31-derful feeling
07/09/01 - CC 42: That's one way to score Vicodin
07/09/01 - It doesn't wash
07/05/01 - The war has won
07/02/01 - Man, evolution is a ripoff
07/02/01 - CC41: And he's fluent in Bocce Balls!
07/02/01 - CC41: Threepio is not necessarily gay
07/02/01 - CC41: Open the pod bay door-- I'm getting out here
07/02/01 - CC41: Next rest area 1,437,901 miles
06/22/01 - CC 39: Jenna Bush is a hot little tramp, ain't she?
06/21/01 - CC 38: ok, not really
06/21/01 - CC 38: Not a summer sport
06/19/01 - And Zen some
06/18/01 - CC37: Conservative Compassionatism
06/15/01 - This is how it's done
06/14/01 - The lady or the Hole Hawg
06/14/01 - I know what I said
06/14/01 - Make your time
06/11/01 - CC 36: Resistance is useful
06/11/01 - Data glut
06/11/01 - Uh....
06/11/01 - Uh....
06/08/01 - Dirty undead tricks
06/07/01 - Oy, what a day I'm having...
06/07/01 - CC35 Don'ts
06/07/01 - Smoking makes your dick bigger
06/06/01 - Casting Call
06/06/01 - Two-Guard Monte
06/06/01 - Jesus, Food Network Fan
06/06/01 - Credit where credit is due
06/05/01 - CC 34: How low is the humor, mama?
05/31/01 - Since you asked
05/31/01 - Introducing Flatulence Fraulein
05/31/01 - CC's 31 + 32, though both are over
05/31/01 - I married Unix
05/30/01 - I'll see you in 000C:52D3
05/30/01 - Satan: Dark Lord, Image Consultant
05/30/01 - The little annoyances of being nailed to a piece of wood
05/30/01 - Pedantic Tire and Lube
05/11/01 - Tobor longs for the sweet release of death or sodomy
05/11/01 - Tobor longs for the sweet release of death or sodomy
05/11/01 - Position wanted for experienced sodomy robot
05/11/01 - Position wanted for experienced sodomy robot
05/11/01 - CC 29: Bugger
05/11/01 - CC 29: Bugger
05/08/01 - How the mighty are fallen
05/08/01 - How the mighty are fallen
05/07/01 - Deities old and new
05/07/01 - Deities old and new
05/04/01 - CC 28: 80's Music History, pt. 1
05/04/01 - CC 28: 80's Music History, pt. 1
05/03/01 - CC 27: Blow toothpaste confetti out your ass interstice
05/03/01 - CC 27: Blow toothpaste confetti out your ass interstice
04/26/01 - To the tagline heap with ye
04/25/01 - Tobor vs. Dr. Pedantic
04/23/01 - cc25: Two word unfunnies
04/21/01 - Ships that make passes in the night
04/20/01 - Not CC24, not even close
04/20/01 - Not CC24 but close
04/20/01 - CC 24: Whose wedding tackle is it, anyway?
04/17/01 - CC23: The worst contest ever
04/13/01 - Home of Adolph Coors
04/13/01 - Very punctual.
04/13/01 - CC22: Three one-trick-ponies in one
04/12/01 - Wine tasting for nimrods
04/12/01 - That's show biz
04/12/01 - I love my job
04/12/01 - My first sale!
04/11/01 - Proverbz #whatever
04/11/01 - Comix help: http://libpc22.lib.umbc.edu/proverbs.php3
04/10/01 - Giddyap
04/10/01 - Great crash scene pickup lines
04/10/01 - Great crash scene pickup lines
04/10/01 - Mentor
04/10/01 - Spring spring spring
04/09/01 - Springtime on campus
04/09/01 - Whoopee-ti-yi-yi-yi
04/09/01 - Sado-penguin jams on you
04/09/01 - Comcis Contest XX: Too late anyway
04/09/01 - Comics Contest XXI: As ruled, no direct mention of Wirthling
04/06/01 - Sequel fever
04/06/01 - I still like this genre
04/05/01 - Comics Contest XIX: Thar she blows
04/04/01 - Feeping creaturism
04/04/01 - Finnish shit
04/03/01 - But mom, they're swimmers
04/03/01 - So we hired him
04/03/01 - Default clone sex joke monstrosity
04/02/01 - Sex all askew... sex with a gnu...
04/02/01 - Dubya 'splains hisself
04/02/01 - Heuristic transitional capability
04/02/01 - Serial Comic: the April-soft freshness of Downey
04/02/01 - Comics Contest XVIII: r001z
04/02/01 - Boorite vs. h4x0rz, pt. 2
04/02/01 - Boorite vs. h4x0rz
04/02/01 - Memm-reeeeez
03/31/01 - Good boy. Yeah, that's good boy.
03/31/01 - Good boy. Yeah, that's good boy.
03/31/01 - Happy trails
03/31/01 - We get transmission
03/31/01 - 2 of the final 4 recommend trash talking
03/31/01 - Sensitivity training III
03/31/01 - Comic Contest XVII: Booze and cheers
03/30/01 - Delta blow
03/30/01 - Serial Comic: Bloody Mary Worth, episode 1
03/30/01 - It's tits day
03/30/01 - Big tits
03/29/01 - Tonight on Food Network
03/29/01 - Kick it up yours
03/29/01 - The WIGU ungulate sues for change
03/29/01 - Suckology
03/29/01 - Boy, is my face red
03/29/01 - Or maybe it does
03/28/01 - Mmmm, lemony
03/28/01 - And then we go for sushi
03/28/01 - If you don't get this one, I envy you
03/28/01 - Movie in 3 panels: Toy Story 2
03/28/01 - Ponder us
03/28/01 - Movie in three panels: Basquiat
03/28/01 - Feel this
03/27/01 - Smells like evil spirits
03/27/01 - Can't we all just get along?
03/27/01 - Sensitivity training II
03/27/01 - A surplus of information
03/27/01 - Diagnosis: Chunder
03/27/01 - There's got to be a morning after
03/26/01 - Rape me again
03/26/01 - Not again
03/26/01 - Smile when ya accuse me o' nepotism
03/26/01 - Sensitivity training
03/26/01 - Epidemic of memesles
03/26/01 - The importance of clarity
03/26/01 - Movie in Three Panels: Wonder Boys
03/26/01 - How sharper than a serpent's tooth
03/23/01 - S0le uva n00 machine!!1!!1
03/23/01 - Father, who art thou?
03/16/01 - Past their prime.
03/16/01 - Fourth-day retrospective
03/16/01 - Only your best friend will tell you
03/16/01 - Tonight on Animal Planet
03/16/01 - Self-referential disclaimer, ostensibly comical, part 2
03/16/01 - The voice of reason
03/16/01 - Self-referential disclaimer, ostensibly comical.
03/16/01 - Try this at home
03/16/01 - Opposing viewpoint
03/15/01 - Hoof and mouth vignettes
03/15/01 - Cowed
03/15/01 - From the hip
03/15/01 - This episode of Rawhide brought to you by KY Jelly
03/15/01 - Desperation sets in
03/15/01 - Phrase plague: Catch it.
03/15/01 - Inspirational success story #1,234,912
03/15/01 - I see your point, part 2
03/15/01 - Company policy
03/15/01 - Public discourse 101
03/15/01 - You think I do this for free?
03/14/01 - Whose cuisine will reign supreme?
03/14/01 - It's what's for dinner
03/14/01 - Revenge of the Defaults
03/14/01 - The secret of My success
03/14/01 - War games were beginning
03/13/01 - Bad boys, bad boys
03/13/01 - Papillon outtake #34
03/13/01 - I see your point
03/13/01 - Some problems solve themselves
03/13/01 - Heat the press
03/13/01 - To cheat Death
03/13/01 - Saved again
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