Dumped again! That's the 12th time this week. Do you think it's something to do with my Sargasso-like mats of nipple hair?
I'll tell you a secret: I once was a hairy she-beast just like you, but thanks to the Norelco Nipple Depilator, I am no longer an abject loser wallowing in self-pity.
Well, I wouldn't say I'm a total abject...
Thanks to the nearly agony-free magic of electrolysis, my days as a repulsive THING, more musk ox than human, are over. Like my prom night, when the lights went out...
Sorry, Maura, I can't seem to get my hands under your wool sweater.
