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| Dad, everything I’ve done in life, I’ve done to gain your respect and acceptance. | |
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| I’ve gone through countless parrots. I don’t have friends; I have “mateys.†And God forbid I use the word “booty†to refer to a derriere. | |
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| Still, it feels like there’s an ocean between us, and our ships are heading in opposite directions. | |
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| Keep it together, Chuckbeard. Now is not the time to giggle at the phrase “poop deck.†| |
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