Tough crowd... by christoxycin9-20-02 ...so, then the OTHER guy says, "Voice-activated dildo, my ass!" Tough crowd...
Everyone's a critic. by christoxycin9-20-02 ...so, then the OTHER guy says, "Voice-activated dildo, my ass!" Everyone's a critic.
Pirate school. by christoxycin9-21-02 I don't think I'm going to go to college. When I was little, my mom was always telling me that I could be whatever I wanted to be... ...but, there just aren't that many good pirate schools out there.
Picking up sticks. by christoxycin9-21-02 I love the park. ...all the happy children at play, the cute little animals frolicking about, and...oh! Look over there! The mowing crew is picking up sticks! Wow...I really should have seen that one coming.
Field trip. by christoxycin9-21-02 ...Electrophorus Electricus, also known as the electric eel. It's typically found in South America, and is capable of producing a powerful electric discharge... This field trip sucks. Where's Steve Irwin when you need him?
If I'd written the alphabet... by christoxycin9-21-02 Um...the stars are really pretty tonight. Yeah... Y'know...If I'd written the alphabet, I would have put "U" and "I" together. They already are...in the word "nuisance."
Chain letter. by christoxycin9-21-02 ...if this chain letter survives until the year 3097, each recipient's name will be printed in "The Guinness Book of Records." "Granted, you won't actually be around to see it, but at least you'll die knowing that you achieved immortality." Wait...isn't that an oxymoron?
The Island of Misfit Office Supplies by christoxycin9-22-02 Where am I? You're on the Island of Misfit Office Supplies. We ended up here because we have no one to love us. Why, that's terrible! Can you help us, Rudolph? You're the only hope we've got. Wait a second...you're not a misfit office supply! You're that annoying Microsoft Office Assistant! Why, I oughta... Yikes! Gotta go...
Up the hill. by christoxycin9-26-02 Jack and Bill went up the hill, to have a roll in the hay... ...Jill saw Jack, had a near heart attack, and said... "...oh my God, he's GAY!"
Thank God for Viagra. by christoxycin9-26-02 Jack and Jill were over the hill; their sex drive fell like the Niagra... ...Jack smiled at Jill as he popped a pill... ...and said, "Thank God for Viagra!"