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| Ok, maam. Can you tell me exactly what you saw here? | |
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| Well, a gang of ruffians beat that poor man nearly to death with lead pipes and hockey sticks. Many of us bystanders were slipping on all of the blood by the time it was over. | |
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| Well, they took his leather jacket away and stole his motorcycle...but not before urinating all over his broken corpse | |
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| Thank you, maam. We'll call you if we need another statement. | |
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| Oh...and I believe the young man's name was "Fonzie". At least that is what some of the screaming children were crying out while it was all happening. | |
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