All comics by count_libido

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by count_libido
11-15-05
Down the tubes...
Count Libido's page sure is going down the toilet
It sure is
I heard that his page makes wishes come true. If you visit his page, you turn into anything you say
That is so lame! Jesus Christ...
Told ya
...

 

by count_libido
11-15-05
Count Libido's Hotline
Not funny eh? I'll give 'em funny!
You've got mail!
What's this? It says my web page sucks! We'll see about that...
Well that's one less person to worry about...

 

Away Team Survival Tips
Mr.Scott, beam Ensign Ricky and myself down to that strange new world!
In a red shirt? Are you fucking crazy?!
by count_libido, 11-15-05

 

by count_libido
11-15-05
Count Libido discusses his fanbase
Some people really dig me. They say I'm a cult!
right(!)
It's not 'cult' , it's cu..
Don't say it!

 

by count_libido
11-16-05
Sadiq and Barry discuss reviews...
Hey, have you had your review yet?
No, but I hear we're supposed to be getting a special bonus for Christmas.
Here comes Pete Jones. Let's see how he got on.
Yeah, let's ask him
So Pete, is that your Christmas bonus? Looks pretty good!
It's a bag of chocolate money.

 

by count_libido
11-16-05
Captain Kirk goes to a dating agency
So Mr. Kirk, give me some details.
Uh, let's see... big chest, wig, corset...
That's what you're looking for?
No, that's me!
Uh...I don't think we can help you at this time...
Green women. Do you have any green women?

 

I told you it was hammertime, now where's my goddamn parachute pants?!
by count_libido, 11-16-05

 

I told you it was hammertime, now where's my goddamn parachute pants?!
by count_libido, 11-16-05

 

by count_libido
11-16-05
So what's with the pointy ears? Are you some kinda pixie?
What's a pixie?
Uh, it's like a fairy
Hey, I'm all man baby!

 

by count_libido
11-16-05
No, you've totally missed the point of the gothic look.
Is this any better?
Now you've gone too far dude.

 

So if you have pointed ears, does that make you a fairy?
Nope. That was Sulu.
by count_libido, 11-16-05

 

Look, if you wanna bowl, you need smaller pins
by count_libido, 11-16-05

 

So how's that Shakespeare play coming along?
Great. There's an infinite number of us.
by count_libido, 11-16-05

 

I just feel like I don't make a good cartoon character...
Hey man! It don't matter if you're black & white!
by count_libido, 11-16-05

 

Help! I've just been attacked by a bald bank robber!
You've been hit by a smooth criminal
by count_libido, 11-16-05

 

by count_libido
11-16-05
Today I corrupted a soul by tempting them with lust!
Today I saved a soul by blessing them with love!
Today I made someone upgrade to Windows XP!
Uh...so did I
Wait, did I win this one or did you?

 

by count_libido
11-16-05
My dog has no nose.
Really? How does he smell?
Terrible!
Look, you gotta stop telling people that I don't have a nose!

 

by count_libido
11-16-05
Washington DC
George W Bush! This is God! You must bomb Iraq!
Sure thing your honour!
Meanwhile in Bagdad...
He said we've had this coming since Saddam groped his momma's ass.

 

by count_libido
11-16-05
Captain Ultra-Guy moves on Truth Girl
Say Baby! What's your power?
Well I have x-ray vision and I can see thru your trunks. Is that a cucumber?
Whoa! Is that an emergency I hear? Gotta go..!
I lose more guys this way...

 

by count_libido
11-16-05
At the magic show
..and now I shall turn this humble telephone into a rabbit!
Alaka-ZAP!
Hey, who are you?
Er, it was the rabbit's night off?

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
Ensign Ricky is on a blind date...
Die you alien scum!
Aaah!
Oh, uh sorry. Force of Habit.
I can't believe you shot a woman!
So you're a woman huh? I'll still give you a chance!
Beat it space boy.

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
Smokey & Bacon are in a bar...
Hey Smokey! Are you going to the bar? Get me some crisps!
Sure thing Bacon!
Hey! Where are my crisps?
They don't serve Smokey bacon!

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
*cough* Are you sure these things are good for me?
Sure! What's the worst that could happen?
I guess so. After all, we've ruled the world for millions of years, right?
That's right! Let 'em up fella!
5 million years later...
I should sue.
Look if anyone asks you say it was a meteor, okay?

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
Hey Smokey! You wanna meet my mom?
Sure!
Hello Smokey.
You're Bacon's mom? Wow, he's a real chip off the block!
More like a slice off the old rump.
Ew! Too much information!

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
Hey Smokey! Check me out!
Uh...do you have any clothes on?
No! I'm Streaky Bacon!

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
Spock is at the Improv...
Hey, what kind of can reads your mind? A Vul-can!
Hello? Taxi for Spock.

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
Hubba Hubba!
Yaaah!
Boo!
You creep!
I love this thing!

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
Cadet Billy is taking his driving test
Okay now I want you to parallel park between those 2 asteroids.
Uh-oh I think I hit something!
It looks like the Captain's shuttle!
Should I go to warp speed?
Nah, we'll blame it on the Klingons.

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
Tips for foreign travellers
If a British person asks you for a fag, don't get alarmed!
In America, fag means a gay person, but in England it means a cigarette.
Right and if a Brit says he wants a bacon butty...'butty' is slang for sandwich!
It is?
Yup!
So it's nothing to do with anal sex? Man, that guy totally lied to me!

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
New mobile phones
Check out my new phone! It's a clam phone!
...and you're all about the clam...
And I'm all about...heeey how'd you know I was gonna say that?
I'm a mind reader
Wanna hear my new ring tone?
If it's the Crazy Frog I'm going to kick your ass.

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
Kirk goes on a blind date
So you're a cat woman huh?
I hope you don't mind...
Doesn't bother me! I sleep with all kinds of alien chicks!
Is that supposed to make me feel better?
No, it's supposed to make ME feel better!
Well, at least he didn't make any jokes about 'pussy'

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
Bacon goes for a job...
So Mr. Bacon, what sort of work do you think you're suited for?
Gee I dunno...
I think I've found a place where you'll fit right in!
Golly thanks!
The Police Station...
Is this some kinda joke?
Do I get a gun?

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
Smokey goes to school
Hey kid! You wanna smoke? It's ok, I'm menthol!
Smokey! Are you giving cigarettes to children?
Giving cigs to kids, are you crazy? I'm selling them! 2 fo fiddy cent!
Cool! Cut me in for some of that action!

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
The Away Team
Ready to beamdown?
No freaking way! Gimme a different shirt!
Active transporter!
You bas... *
They keep sending 'em, I keep blasting 'em...

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
Meeting fellow Spacemen
So how's life on your ship?
Not bad I guess...
We boldly go where no one has gone before. They pay us peanuts.
We're in fixed orbit around a pleasure planet. We get paid in bananas.
Want to swap?
I don't like peanuts.

 

by count_libido
11-17-05
The Captain is at a party...
..and I said 'that's my final front ear'! Ha ha ha!
That is so lame!
Captain to Bridge, launch photon torpedos!
Yeah Baby! Don't mess with a starship captain!

 

Vulcan Salute Nightschool
Hey, this is easy!
by count_libido, 11-17-05

 

by count_libido
11-18-05
Bacon is on a date...
So, you're a lesbian?
No! Why do you think that?
It said on the form that you were 'into babes'!
I'm an actress. It said I was 'in "Babe".

 

by count_libido
11-18-05
The Away Team runs into trouble...
Those aliens don't look to friendly...
I think they're gonna shoot!
Aahh!
Aahh!
Later, back on the ship...
The good news is, we have enough parts left to make one new crewman!

 

by count_libido
11-18-05
What's the difference between a vulcan and a robot?
With a robot, you only have to punch the instructions in once!
Do you want to kick his ass or shall I?

 

by count_libido
11-18-05
Hey! What did you do that for?
Your butt was on fire.

 

by count_libido
11-18-05
Smokey! I just dropped a really smelly load and my girlfriend is coming over in 10 minutes! What should I do?
Easy Bacon ol' buddy! Just light a match to mask the smell!
Hey thanks!
See? Cigarettes can be good for you.

 

by count_libido
11-18-05
The Protest Rally
Your friend Smokey is part of the evil tobacco industry & is contributing to the downfall of the health of the nation!
Oh yeah? Eat me!
I can't. I'm a vegetarian.

 

by count_libido
11-18-05
If you come back to my starship, we can explore Uranus together...
If you talk to me again, we'll explore 'Uranus' with this.

 

Hey buddy! You gotta match?
Yeah! Your nose and my ass!
by count_libido, 11-18-05

 

by count_libido
11-18-05
Can you help me? I'm trying to find Nemo.
You mean that guy from The Matrix?
That's 'Neo'.

 

by count_libido
11-18-05
Sending the Away Team
Look, don't worry. This time it's a nice safe farming planet!
Seems okay...
You do know that red is the colour of anger to the Bull People?

 

by count_libido
11-18-05
So, what are you?
I'm a sea horse!
You look like a regular horse to me.
Ack! Ack! I can't breathe!

 

by count_libido
11-18-05
Is it true you only have a three second memory?
I'm sorry...what did you say?

 

by count_libido
11-21-05
Hey you Redshirt! Report to the transporter deck for an away mission!
B-b-but, I'm in engineering! I don't know anything about away team missions!
I knew I should have gone in for medical...

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