All comics by crownweb03

 

by crownweb03
2-25-09
Jeremy you must work smarter. Not harder!
I thought I was working hard enough already?
I'm a smart robot and know what I'm talking about!
Yeah? Why is that other robot taking your job?
?
Hah, hah, made you look!

 

by crownweb03
3-04-09
Dude how are you closing all of those sales? I can't sell anything this month! #@!!!
I use sales thug! My sales have gone up every month since I started using him!
But I don't have any money to buy!
You betta find some money or I'll kick your ass!

 

by crownweb03
4-10-09
X Rated Sales Talk! To hot for TV!
Dude, how is your sales month going? Are you still massaging those leads I sent you?
I'm in the probing phase now, trying to work them gently.
What about that big lead I sent you last month? Did you take it to the climax?
Dude, I worked them over good but couldn't close the deal.
I'm going to have a hardcore month! My pipeline is huge!
Dude, my pipeline is going to explode any day. I anticipate having a strong finish!

 

by crownweb03
4-13-09
George did you see that new girl in accounting? She's hot!
I'd stay away from her if I were you because she's a succubus.
A succbus? What's a succbus?
A woman more dangerous than Hillary Clinton. She sucks the life out of men and turns them into Clay Aikens.
You will go home with me and watch American Idol! And you will like it!
I will watch American Idol and like it....

 

by crownweb03
5-16-09
Hey, what happend to Bob?
Haven't you heard? Bob met the salesman killer.
What's a salesman killer?
A sales killer is a prospective customer who wont stop talking. They keep talking until the salesman dies of boredom.
Bob, did I ever tell you the story about the time I got arrested in Tijuana? This is another great story! You're going to love it!

 

by crownweb03
5-22-09
Hey, what happend to that new sales guy we hired?
Dr Jeykll fired him.
Dr Jeykll showed up for work today? Yesterday it was Mr Hyde.
Yeah our boss has so many personalities it's hard to know which on to expect each day....
Bill meets Dr Jeykll
I want you out of here by noon! And don't try to steal any company property because I'm watching you!
But you just told me yesterday that you liked my work. What happened?

 

by crownweb03
5-26-09
Hey, it's pretty quiet in the sales office. What's going on in there?
Dead Zone!
Ahh, the time of day where no calls, emails or faxes are coming in right?
It gets so bad sales people will do anything to break it including dressing up in constume and singing show tunes!
I feel pretty, oh so pretty. Come on Bob sing with me!
Ok, ok! I feel pretty and witty and bright!

 

by crownweb03
5-28-09
Hey, were having a meeting in my office in 10 minutes to discuss the new product line.
What new product line?
Were doing to have our own line of microdermabrasion products!
What does microdermabrasion have to do with dog care products?
They don't have anything to do with each other. My girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to invest in microdermabrasion and I just did it!
X@@@##!!!

 

by crownweb03
6-01-09
Don't forget to spell check those documents when you're finished because the devil is in the details..
What does the devil is in the details mean?
I don't know, it's what people always told me when I was in your position.
This is stupid!
Chen what did I tell you about producing detailed reports!? I'm sending you back to hell!
Please sir, don't make me go work for Enron again!

 

by crownweb03
7-21-09
Ben, I want you to send out the annual apology letter to our shareholders.
What do we have to apologize for this time?
Nothing for now. If we apologize in advance that will soften the blow of what we're going to do later!
!!####%%!

 

by crownweb03
7-21-09
Cut backs......
Larry, this recession is forcing us to make cut backs.
Uh oh, I don't like this.
Effective immediatly, your sales people won't make any commission until each rep makes $10,000 in sales every month.
Boss, it's tough out there right now. You can't expect my sales team to hit those numbers every month. Why not help us out?
Larry, you work for EVIL CORPORATION. What part of EVIL don't you understand? It's my job to be evil.
Jerk!

 

by crownweb03
7-23-09
Company merger
Hey boss, when does the merger go through?
The merger goes through today and our company is now part of B.A.D. corporation!
That was quick! You didn't even read the merger documents did you?
I didn't have time to read it! I'll do what our politicians do and read it later!

 

by crownweb03
11-20-09
Ah man, this swine flu has got me down!
What's wrong bacon man?
People have stopped eating bacon and are eating more chicken! What am I gonna do?
That's easy, reinvent yourself as the new and improved bacon. You taste great but are less calories.
Maybe I can invent a bacon flavored water since healthy water is still popular these days...
Yeah, you could get some stimulus money to promote your idea. I hear the government is wanting to help small business.

 

by crownweb03
12-06-11
Bob, since I'm your campaign director, I have to ask you if you have any "skeletons" in the closet. Have you ever done anything like have an extra marital affair or killed anyone?
Let's see, hmm. Nope I haven't had an affair or killed anyone. Yet..
Well that's good to hear!
Of course there was that time that I had an affair with that cow and killed those cats but, that was just a phase I was going through. Honest!
Welcome to the party!
Yeah hah! I'm going to bring this party together!

 

by crownweb03
1-18-12
Uh oh.....
Dad, I want to know where I came from....
Well, you see son, when a man and a woman......
?
30 Minutes Later
And those are, that's where you um, came from....
Gosh dad, I only wanted to know what city I'm from, I didn't need to know all that stuff. Sheesh!

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