All comics by denniskavanagh

 

by denniskavanagh
4-27-14
I like how Clare Balding gives bishops an easy ride, plays country music and doesn't say anything too challenging on a Sunday morning
That's because you're middle class. Her dirge of establishment loving, non challenging bullshit appeals to your desire for comfort rather than a real discussion of searing class inequalities
Fuck off you homophobe

 

by denniskavanagh
4-27-14
Why the Bail Act doesn't work underwater
I'm afraid I have substantial grounds for believing that if granted bail, you would fail to surrender so I simply cannot accede to this application
Define "substantial"
You asked for it! Warrant without bail

 

by denniskavanagh
4-27-14
You may use the Defendant's silence, if you think it fair, only as additional support for the prosecution case, you must not convict him wholly or mainly because of it
But you have no way of knowing if I have done or not, sod you, I'm going to base a conviction wholly or mainly on it
Yeah thanks for breaking the jury system for everyone else, smart arse

 

by denniskavanagh
4-27-14
So, to summarise, a sexual offence in this category carries a sentence range of 5-8 years and my advice, in all the circumstances, is to enter a guilty plea given the compelling evidence
I choose to dress like this because it turns me on
Get yourself a new brief

 

by denniskavanagh
4-27-14
So deportation is automatic with a 12 month sentence or more? So 11 months you're not a danger to the country but 12 months 1 day you are!?
How can your criminal justice system purport to measure danger in such an arbitrary way? Criminalised behaviour isn't some numbers game, this is intellectually preposterous
Look pal,I can't bill for this existential angst, you got much more of this? Also your UFO is waiting

 

by denniskavanagh
4-29-14
Now Mr.Fish, please speak up for the jury and restrict yourself to no more than 15 lies per 30 minutes so we can remain within the court time allocated for cross examination
Wait, so if I constantly lie you might not get to some of your questions and you get in trouble for filling in a box wrong on the PCMH form?
It's called active case management.
No it's not you liar.

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