All comics by devonsego

Profile

 

by devonsego
9-14-04
mornings are so hard
what to do with an entire day?
ah yes

 

by devonsego
9-26-04
Hey video dude!
Yes?
Do you have any good Chris Farley movies?
Hmm...
I dunno. Did he make any?

 

by devonsego
9-27-04
At the video store...
Aw, I'm working with YOU today?
Can I help you?
Do you have any Mean Girls?
There's HER.

 

by devonsego
9-29-04
Dude, Vin Diesel is SO hot!
His neck is bigger than his HEAD.
But he's got that really deep voice.
What about James Earl Jones?
EEW!

 

by devonsego
10-02-04
No really, people ask this kind of stuff.
Hi. How can I help you today?
This video's broken.
What seems to be the problem?
The top and bottom are cut off.
We call that "widescreen". You're actually seeing it the way the director originally intended.
The director cut half the movie off?

 

by devonsego
10-02-04
Y'know, sometimes I think I want to die because I'll never be as beautiful as Patrick Fugit.
Then I realize -I- don't have a flock of weirdo internet geeks dying to be like me.

 

by devonsego
10-03-04
What're your plans for tonight?
I was thinking something a little hot n' steamy.
You're finally getting some?
I was referring to my bathtub, thanks.

 

by devonsego
10-03-04
Guess what?
What now?
I'm bisexual too!
I thought you were straight, man.
Yeah, but I still have to buy it.

 

by devonsego
10-04-04
How can I hurt you?
Is the Passion of the Christ out in English yet?
No... they're not releasing it in English.
Well why not?
Because Jesus didn't SPEAK English.
Next you're going to tell me he wasn't white, either.

 

by devonsego
10-05-04
You know God's dead, right?
Of course He isn't. He's very much alive, my son.
If he's alive, why are YOU still hanging around?

 

by devonsego
10-05-04
How come all these sanctimonious, greedy, gun-loving, gay-bashing, conservative republican, fundamentalist Christian assholes get to go to Heaven?
I AM the Prince of Lies...

 

by devonsego
10-09-04
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping.
Who's rapping at my chamber door?
knock knock
'Tis some visitor, only this and nothing more.
You one pale ass motherfucker. You need to get OUT s'more.

 

by devonsego
10-09-04
Dude, since when did YOU go goth?
It's not really goth. It's more...
Necrosexual?

 

by devonsego
10-19-04
For your diligence in finding me, you may ask one wish.
Can I get a formal apology for Neil Diamond?
Dad insists he's not one of ours.

 

by devonsego
10-19-04
I can't believe I got her pregnant!
But you two are doing the right thing, right?
Bottle o' Jack and a coat hanger?
You'd better have better liquor than that, asshole.

 

by devonsego
10-25-04
What did Mr. Donner say to Mrs. Donner?
What?
Trade you a thigh for a breast!

 

by devonsego
10-25-04
Dude, ninjas are SO cool. They wear black and kill people!
So the Columbine shooters were cool?
HELL no. They didn't have throwing stars.

 

by devonsego
10-25-04
So when is The Day After Tomorrow due back?
Tomorrow.
Wouldn't it be cool if--
NO.

 

by devonsego
10-27-04
Hey Suzie. That's an interesting outfit.
I want to be your ideal lover.
So you're getting a sex change?

 

by devonsego
10-28-04
Hey video dude. I thought The Ring was scary.
I fell asleep during the climax.
Really? So what DO you find frightening?
Four more years.

 

by devonsego
11-11-04
Y'know, sometimes I feel sorry for girls.
Oh? And why's that?
They can't play "hit the cigarette" when they go to the bathroom.

 

by devonsego
11-16-04
Gee, you sure do have a lot of Anne Rice books...
Yeah?
You know she sucks, right?
True, but she gets me so much credit with all the underage goth chicks.
Point.

 

by devonsego
12-04-04
Whatcha' downloading?
Digmon porn.
Did you ever think that maybe you like hentai because you haven't matured with your peers and thus fantasize about the closest thing to legal kiddie porn?
I'm not the one with a busty Evil-Lyn bust on my desk.
That is SO different.

 

by devonsego
1-10-05
I hate my job.
So does everyone else.
I never get any respect or acknowledgment.
Status quo again.
I'm depressed enough to eat pre-packaged food.
Woah.

 

by devonsego
3-25-05
Aw, that shirt rocks! Where'd you get it?
Hot Topic.
Oh. Nevermind...
I actually really like that store.
You're a daft bitch.
Is that like Daft Punk?

 

by devonsego
3-28-05
I cannot decide between making a band named 8-Bit Nipple and writing a song caleld "Green Day Sucks"
Or making a band named Green Day Sucks and writing a song called "8-Bit Nipple"
Being an endless font of creative genius is often hard.

 

by devonsego
5-23-05
Welcome to Heaven, my son.
When a lamb has been devout as you, we offer them one wish.
Light Paris Hilton on FIRE!

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