All comics by dflux

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by dflux
4-16-01
Sometimes pickup lines don't always work out how you want.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Sure, but it'll cost ya twenty bucks a look!
Sometimes the intended target takes over the line.
Do you believe in...
anal probes? Yes, let me show you what we do!
Sometimes you've just had too much to drink!
...or should I walk by again?
Look bub, I just serve the drinks here okay?

 

by dflux
4-16-01
My parents started controlling what I can watch on TV
Another school shooting today...
So now I only watch CNN
the teenager made a bomb out of 1 quart amonia, 2 tablespoons of...
Don't fuck with me...

 

by dflux
4-16-01
..so I say that's not a cog, that's my wife!
Oh god that wasn't funny.. Maybe if I just stand here...
Damn it! You always freeze up when I tell my jokes! I'm out...
Sometimes there are benefits to being a Microsoft Bot!

 

by dflux
4-16-01
Why are we the default comic characters?
I don't know.. Maybe it has something to do with race.
Like what? Some sort of comic affirmative action?
Yep. We're only here to offset the white characters so they can laugh at stereotypes of asians.
Well then, I go dwive willy willy cwazy now! Where my caw?
You got wong steweotype. I go find neighbow cat so we cahn make chinese food!

 

by dflux
4-16-01
Dude! I'm baked!!

 

by dflux
4-16-01
This whole relationship is getting kinda stale..
Yeah, maybe we should do something to spice things up.
How about acting out our fantasies?
Okay, let's close our eyes, and when we open them we'll see each other as our ideal sexual partners!
This is kinda awkward...
Tell me about it...

 

by dflux
4-17-01
Stumbling across a cool website, Digital Flux makes some new friends
Wow! Digital Flux! You are SO cool!
Woah look! A new guy!
His new friends seem excited to meet someone new
Digital, expressed in digits. Flux, constantly flowing and changing. I can appreciate your command of the english language!
Who are you guys talking too?
VERY excited!
Hey thanks guys! You're all so nice..
Let me show you just how nice we are!

 

by dflux
4-18-01
I know I'm aroused. VERY aroused.

 

by dflux
4-23-01
Thanks for staying tuned to "Pubescent Teen Trivia." Bringing to a close our "Twin Teens" week we have the final question. Here it is!
Can you give me the names of the current U.S. President and Vice President?
Bush
Dick

 

by dflux
5-04-01
I think, therefore, I am.
Hmmm... I wonder if...

 

by dflux
6-26-01
Welcome to my hell in a cell.
Another day, another dollar. Working here is such a drag. I can't stand the people, I can't stand this crappy network...
Sometimes I don't know why I continue working here...
Oh wait.. Now I remember...
Hey Digi, my mouse won't move again. I keep gently but firmly moving it back and forth, like you showed me, but nothing.

 

by dflux
6-26-01
Ok, these things can be tricky at first. Just gently put your hand over the ball and rub it around.
It's so hard though...
Just go back and forth real slow at first. Then as you get more comfortable, you can speed it up.
Oh wow. I think I got it. Look, it's moving around now! It's not hard anymore!!
Yep, like a catholic girl's first time...
Thanks for showing me how to use this damn trackball Digi. Now I feel like going around to everyones computers just to use theirs!

 

by dflux
6-26-01
You wanted to see me sir?
Yes Digi. I've had a couple complaints about you sitting in your office all day doing nothing. What do you have to say about that?
I don't know how that is, sir. My office is down in the basement. Without windows. Rats roaming around free. Pipes humming with every flush..
Oh, yes.. Well.. Um..
People don't come to visit me, down in the darkness. All alone. Oh how nice it would be to have an office up here with these large windows. Sunlight.
Yes, well.. Uh, keep up the good work...and all that. See you at your next yearly review!

 

by dflux
6-27-01
Man Digi, that was the best pot luck lunch we've had all year!
Pot luck?
Yeah, nobody told you? You didn't see the sign-up sheet going around?
No, nobody ever comes down to tell me about office socials. Bunch of ingrate computer-illiterate coffee whores...
hmm.. Yeah, I don't know why nobody told you about it.
I thought my pig rhines went over well at the last one..

 

by dflux
6-27-01
This webcam I installed in the hallway is the best idea I've ever had..
Hey Digi, I need help with.. Digi? Hello? Damn, he's never in his office!
Yep, best idea I've ever had..

 

by dflux
6-27-01
Yeah, so after the blue screen I tried opening it up again 3 times but still no dice. So I thought I better back up my data but I didn't know what was mine, so I just highlighted everything on C..
Medic!
Ya know, I never bought in to the belief that violent video games can lead to violence in real life... 'til recently..
Ok, well, I can see you're busy, so don't worry about it. I'll figure it out myself. Thanks!

 

by dflux
7-02-01
Space: 3042
WARNING! WARNING! Inner-spacial visi-com device malfunctioning!! *be-boop*
Ah crap! Not the IV again! Quick, what do I need to do?
Diagnostics indicate the trans-dimensional discombobulator device needs to be linked to the positrax flux drive via the U-42 Matrix.
The discom-what?! Wait.. what?
Take the plug lying on the floor and plug it into the wall!!
Wait.. I have to get out of my Hover-Lounger? Crap! How long do I have before Boy Meets Universe starts?

 

by dflux
8-06-01
Yeah, so I've been burned on this place lately. I think I'm going to quit tomorrow. Just thought I'd give you a heads up.
Hmm.. No, tomorrow's no good for me. I think I'll have time to fill out your exit review sometime after year-end. So think it over til then. See you in a couple months.
Hmm, yeah. It's just that, how can I damn the man when I work for him? It just doesn't fit the lifestyle I'm going for.
Hey Digi, we can work something out. How about every morning before you start work you come in here and spit on my keyboard or something?
oh, uh.. you, um, know about that?
So I'll see you again in January then?

 

by dflux
8-08-01
Yeah, so I'm like new here, and was told that you could like set me up or whatever.
Must control thoughts.. Deep breath..
Like I was told that I get a new maching with a really fast hurts processor or something..
Must not speak mind.. One more write-up and...
So could I like get that in the next 10 minutes?
Sure thing! Let me just fix this printer first. Something's backed up in the FAH QUEUE!

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