All comics by dubely

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by dubely
2-28-03
I give flowers...
she give arm...
Put in box?

 

by dubely
3-10-03
The chicken crossed the road because I threatened it with my axe, Otis
dude, not cool... you suck, man...
aacckk....ggrrrgllll.....
Dammit, he alsmost laughed, you didn't even give me a chance to try my dead baby joke.

 

by dubely
3-10-03
It says here, that mutilation is a way of defining one's identity.
It also says that the keeping of trophies suggests a need to be recognized, and therefore a sadly low level self esteem.
this poses a deep and troubling question...
what's that?
should I keep your arm?

 

by dubely
3-12-03
I'm sorry, but this park bench is for display only.
can't they see I'm sitting here?
It's alright officer, I am presently ticketing the boy for his inappropriate bench abuse.
No worries, officer, I'll just take care of it, I've already got my pen out here, it'll be easy enough.
bench abuse?!?!!?
I've nearly got my ticket finished, don't bother

 

by dubely
3-12-03
As your ranking equal, I'm going to have to order you to stop writing that ticket.
grrrr..........
I'm afraid it's too late, I've finished already. Son, you have hereby been fined $500 dollars for inapropriate abuse---
AAAAHHHHHH!!! IT BURNS!!!!!
sigh...
HELP ME, OH PLEASE DEAR Gohfkkkkk.....

 

by dubely
3-12-03
Santa, moving silently on the tips of his toes to the Christmas tree.
shouldn't have had all them darned fried beans.
damn! Oh crap... That smells sooo baaaddd. Perhaps if I light a match...
whoa.

 

by dubely
3-12-03
I am but a traveling chicken, in search of adventure...
On and on I travel.
AH! Another traveling chicken! Art thou friend or foe?
Nah, just sitting on my ass.
A worthy endeavor as well, perhaps you intend to lay an egg?
Nah, that shit hurts, I'm just sitting on my ass.

 

by dubely
8-16-03
That horrible gray ass robot is staring at my dickjoint with his beady red eyesssss....
mmmmmm... dickjoint.
Oh dear mother of pearl, I can't bear to watch anymore.
If I could just move my pincer arm a little closer...
Avast! Keep your scurvy pincer away from my dickjoint you homobotical maniac!
He's caught on! mmmmm... dickjoint...

 

by dubely
8-16-03
I told you to disengage in that lurid gaze!
but I just wanted to... But I thought that... Uh... I'm not really looking at it, but you can't tell because of a connection misfire in the rerouting subroutine between my eyes and processing device.
an awkward silence.
oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize... Uh...
Look, don't go away, I didn't mean any harm by that...

 

by dubely
8-16-03
Yeah, that's right, smile, we can be friends, or whatever.
mmmmmm... dickjoint... oops. Did I say that out loud?
You sick muthafucka! I knew I could see primitive gay lust in your oily red eyes!
Dammit dammit dammit, and I had a perfect excuse to stare at his dickjoint...
Grrrrr... You better watch your back, you fagitron!
Well, at least I'm not read, you fucking closeminded redger!

 

by dubely
8-16-03
Hey! I can't help that I was painted red!
Yeah, well maybe I can't help that I was programmed to be totally gay! You ever stop to think of that, you heartless redger robophobe!?!?!
Yeah, whatever, you retarded legless metal teletubby boner!
Get out of my face... You make me sick, with your 3 facial expressions and your movable arms. You're a gayorbot hating pig!
Who was that tight red robot your were just talking to? Like totally GREAT dickjoint...
mmmmmm... dickjoint

 

by dubely
8-16-03
The complex dilemna of the forsaken comicstrip character.
Here we stand, so close, and yet so far away, encased in a mysterious black box, unable to escape, unable to touch...
Perhaps we can thwart our creator by utilizing the very tools that he sent us into the world with?
A futile and sometimes painful existence...
DOH!!!
It seems that the limited selection of poses available to us has forced us to hammer our nails into our own heads...
And so short an existence, too...
Wait! Here, suddenly, unbelievably, a letter has appeared in my hand in the same moment that the wound on my head has healed. It says "your time is up."
It's for the best, the pain in my skull is causing me to inexplicably urinate blood..

 

by dubely
8-19-03
PS, your life is a hollow meaningless lie.
Hmmmm... Well, that sucks... Nothing to do but live in a trash can, I guess...
Ah... Sweet blissful trashcan. And I didn't accidentally nail it into my head... HEY GET AWAY FROM HERE YOU UGLY ASS BUG!!!
AAAggghhhh!!! Mind you, I'm less bothered by your ugliness than by the fact that you are somewhat more substantial than I am...

 

by dubely
8-19-03
Well kill me already, or lay eggs in my ears or... I don't have any ears...
I bring you this letter. Here, I'll just leave it in your trash can.
Dear Insubstantial Stick Man, you don't have any ears.
No shit, you giant douche rag!
That's it you asshole, you don't control me! I can do whatever I want to do!!!!!!
DOH!!!

 

by dubely
8-25-03
So then, I was like, they didn't even include that part in the Lord of the Rings where he makes an obscure reference to the Simarillion...
uh...
I don't know if you've read that, but it's like the Bible of Middle Earth, and JRR Tolkien wrote it, but they didn't include any of it in the Lord of the Rings Movies, and that really pisses me off...
uh...
'cause anyone who really is a fan would rather sit through a 6 or 7 hour movie just to see it done right than to have to watch them cut out that one scene.
uh... Your shorts are really starting to bother me. It's like a zuchini in a sandwich bag.

 

by dubely
9-02-03
One day, in space...
hey, trudy, dig my earthling threads?
When I told you to go to the farmers field for a disguise, I told you to wear a COAT billie...
Yeah, well, you get to be a chicken, why can't I experiment with farm animal attire?
I was worried about the pre-attire farm animal experiments
After they landed the spacecraft...
you just don't understand the many wonderful things anal probing the earthlings has taught us
All I'm thinking about is where those horns might end up as soon as I turn around...

 

by dubely
2-16-04
THIS IS THIS AUTHOR'S REQUISITE ASIAN GIRL COMIC.
The world is bizarre.
Indeed. Here we stand, in empty frames with nothing but each other, because we lie first on the list.
IT SEEMS EVERY COMIC WRITER ON THIS SITE HAS AT LEAST ONE.
We're cute, unassuming, and yet somehow...
deeply... subtly... unnervingly... EVIL!!!!
FAR BE IT FROM MY HUMBLE SELF TO BE A NON-CONFORMIST.
Oddly, we come with no accessories, so there's no way to really animate us, except by turning us about.
If she doesn't stop smiling, I am going to kill her.

 

by dubely
2-25-04
This is a desparate attempt to shamelessly advertise the most ridiculous and silly computer game ever created...
QUIXOTE: Maybe we can jump into the zeppelin with a motorcycle.
First let me land my helicopter on the balloon part...
CODENAME EAGLE. It was created by the same people who made the much more popular "Battlefield 1942", but had far more character and inanity.
QUIXOTE: You dumb bastard! I said jump the motorcyle into the zeppelin, not against it!
hmm... I seem to have dropped both my baby and my pants...
It is somehow the perfect combination of unusual bugs and illogical physics that encourages unprecedented hours of absurd gameplay.
Ok... Now you sit in the sidecar of the motorcycle, and I'll try to push you back out of the zeppelin....... AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH ... AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH ...*breathe* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH *Splat*
Um, dude, I'm stuck in the motorcycle, you're going to have to land another helicopter up here before the damn zeppelin disappears again.

 

by dubely
3-02-04
Hello everyone, I'm your friendly neighborhood cigarette. You may have seen me on the street, or in someone's lawn...
I am a small Asian girl.
smokers aren't going to just magically start putting their cigarettes in ashtrays because they know it's the right thing to do.
*snicker* let's see what this gasoline does...
continued...
That's why it's time to start letting those smokers smoke INSIDE again, folks. Aren't you tired of seeing them huddled in dense masses outside office buildings and malls?
Perhaps that was folly...

 

by dubely
3-02-04
Are you tired seeing cigarette butts in areas you're trying to walk?!?! ARE YOU TIRED, SICK AND TIRED, TIRED AND SICK, DISTURBED BY THE LACK OF PLACES SMOKERS HAVE TO GO?!?!?
Hello, President Lincoln. WAIT! You're not President Lincoln! hmmm... then why are you wearing that ridiculous hat...?
WELL?!... ARE YOU!?!?! I know I am! Fight for smoker rights! Get me a home in a nice cozy ashtray. You see, to a cigarette, an ashtray is a place of social gathering, the Marboros, the Kools,
Your ass is on fire, Mister. Here, I'll put it out with this liquid my sister left here next to her ashes.
it's a melting pot, really. Now, come on, help me out. Don't let me rot in some dirty alleyway, only to be trampled upon by some starving bum as I lie there, lonely and cold...
That bitch tricked me!! AAaaahhhh!!!

 

by dubely
3-02-04
This isn't just a fight for you, the people of the world. It isn't just a fight for me and my fellow cigarettes... NO! It is a fight for cigars, too, and disposable pipes, and, even Mother Nature!
Aha! It is I! I only pretended to burn, so that I might destroy my inane, grinning sister!
The author of this comic does not smoke anything.
You can still run your useless and obnoxious "truth" ads on TV, you can still have your cancer propoganda!
Wow, cigarettes are cool... I wonder if I could get my older brother to buy me some...
All I ask... NO... All I beg... is that you let me have a home. When I've been smoked down to my filter, let me rest in peace, not tossed to the ground like some lifeless piece of garbage!
Maybe if I roll some lettuce in construction paper, I'll look just as cool...

 

by dubely
3-01-11
welcome back.
i like what you've done with the place
you don't have to lie.
no really, it's a nice pattern
i hope to do the whole room this color. it's just a matter of time and resources.
that's nice, well i'm going to bed

 

by dubely
3-02-11
what's up with the closet?
it's no longer usable.
why does it smell like rotting and air freshener?
there was a really bad leak. trust me you don't want to go in there.
i can't deal with this now, do you want anything from the 711?

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