All comics by eggy_mcmuffinman

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-20-02
Hello, disembodied arm.
My life is a joke.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-20-02

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-20-02
I apologize for the inherent dullness of my previous strip.
To Recompense, I will now die and go to hell for your sins.
Something tells me I'm going to regret this.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-20-02
Well, it seems that our comic has hit a dead end.
I'm going to crawl into a trash can now.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-20-02
In order to make our strip more interesting, we have now brought in the author's friend, Faye!
Hi!
Faye will now dance for us!
What?
With a clown!
YUK YUK!
This is evil.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-20-02
Okay, let's see what we've got in terms of fanmail.
"Dear Eggy, Me like your comic. Comic is good. Is good funny. E. EEEEEEEEEE. Must Kill."
Awwww...

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-20-02
In all the excitement, we forgot to introduce ourselves. I'm Stickman.
And I'm a disembodied arm. I can't talk because I have no lips.
I'm the author. I'm currently stuck in my private hell.
I'm the author's friend Faye. I'm not actually in Hell, he's just running out of panels.
And I'm an alien. Prepare to be eliminated.
Oh crap.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-21-02
Okay, creepy. What do you want from me?
Complete and total domination of your comic!
Oh ... sure, why not?
Really?
Hey, I'm a fairly reasonable guy.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-21-02
Hello and welcome to the Grey show.
YAY!
Today, I'm going to blow up this clown!
HUH?
heh heh.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-21-02
Status report, Mr. Owl.
It seems someone has infiltrated the McMuffinman comics before us.
What? That's not fair! Who is it?
Aliens, sir.
Again? Those guys invade everything.
They're like a horde of George Dubyas.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-21-02
Hold it right there!
Who are you?
I am Angus Lizardlips. I was supposed to take over this comic before you.
You and what army?
We're off to a rocky start.
I have a ray gun.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-21-02
What the ... where am I?
Welcome to hell.
How did I get here?
You must have died.
Hmmmm ... well, the last thing I remember, I was being shot by some hideous alien freak.
That must be it then.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-21-02
So then I sez to Mabel, I sez...
Shut up shut up shut up shut up.
Know what I mean?
Oh, yeah!
Anyways, as I wuz saying...
Shut up shut up shut up shut up...

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-21-02
Hey, stickman. Thought I'd drop by to see how things were going.
Aw, that's sweet.
So, watcha doing?
I'm actually trying out a career in performance art.
Uh Oh.
Do you think you could pass me some raw meat?

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-22-02
Considering that I write this damn comic, I think it's about time I came back.
I mean, there's a lot of stuff on my mind and I'm starting feel like I've got to get it out of my system.
My life is a joke.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
Hello, and welcome to the Eggy Mcmuffinman annual talent show!
Our first act is homicidal Bob. So, what's your talent Bob?
Bob?
KILL ... KILL ... KILL ...

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
And now, a poem by me.
Twinkle twinkle, little sun. Blocking you out is so much fun.
Once I have concealed your face, I will enslave the human race.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
YAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
You suck!
That I do, lad. That I do.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
I thought I'd interrupt the current plotline to tell you that it's my sister's birthday.
I'll save you some ice cream.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
Me again. I just thought I'd tell you that this is my 20th comic.
I'll save you some ice cream.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
I think my ice cream's melting.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
Say, did you hear the one about the chicken who crossed the road and got to the other side?
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
I'm not sure that was the right thing to do.
He asked for it.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
And for the most violent and therefore entertaining act, Homicidal Bob wins the talent show!
Um ... you're not Homicidal Bob.
Yeah, well, I'm accepting the award anyway.
Oh God. You shot him didn't you?
Damn straight!

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
Okay, so since I won the talent competition, what's my prize?
Absolutely nothing!
Don't make me use this.
Fine, you win a Buick. Happy now?

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
Well, this sucks.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
Ah, the internet. Such a wonderful resource for fun and knowledge!
Congratulations! You have just engineered total nuclear apocalypse!
On the other hand...

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
Dear God! It's the end of the world as we know it!
No more order! No more discipline! All will plunged into chaos!
Well, better make the most of it.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
Hey you! Yeah, mister, you know full well who I'm talking to. You gonna answer me?
Ha! Of course not! You're dead! You're just a worthless sack of bones!
eep.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
What the -
At last! I have used my Ultra-Complex warp machine to transport a being from an alternate dimension to my world!
whowherewiththewhatnow?
It speaks its native tongue!

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
Okay, so let me get this straight. You built a machine that can transport matter from alternate dimensions.
Yup.
So ... that means I'll be considered some sort of fascinating oddity, right?
Pretty much.
Works for me!
Excellent! I'll get the hypodermic needles!

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
For the record, I will not put any of the following in my comics:
Homophobia, religious icons, racism, sexism, sex, excessive swearing, internet lingo or narration that doesn't correspond with the actions exhibited in the comic strip.
LOL! I could have pulled a better comic out of my ass!
starting tomorrow.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
Eh ... what's up, doc?
How in God's name did I wind up here?
Would it be too much to ask if we could just make up our minds?

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
Rudolf with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
Hell no! I'm gonna enlist in the armed forces and KICK SOME ASS!
Something here just isn't adding up.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-23-02
Um ... you're the author of this comic strip, right?
Indeed.
Why hasn't this comic strip been making any sense?
I'm a deprived and lonely child.
I see ... tell me about your mother.
She was a printing press.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-24-02
I hear you've gone off the deep end.
I like pudding.
What you need is my one-step therapy program.
?
Just hold still...
I have broccoli in my socks.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-24-02
Wait a second. If I just killed the author, then that means...

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-24-02

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-24-02
What the crap? I thought I was dead!
The one you killed was not the author, but rather a physical manifestation of his ego.
Oh great. Now I'm hearing voices spouting creepy mumbo-jumbo.
You idiot! You don't question all-powerful disembodied voices!
If you're so powerful, paint my house.
You're asking for it.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-24-02
Okay, mister all-powerful disembodied voice, where's the author?
Like I said before, that wasn't REALLY the author, just a physical manifestation.
So, basically, this guy's a God.
Not exactly.
What is he, some geek at a computer?
Well...

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-24-02
So, you mean to say that my very life is dictated by some creepy, websurfing deadbeat?
Pretty much.
That would explain my wacky comical misadventures.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-24-02
In order to fill the void created by the loss of our "author" character, we are now holding auditions for characters that are even more appealing and (preferably) "wacky".
First up, we have Doctor Wayne Dwayne. Tell us a bit about yourself, Wayne.
My main hobbies are eating dryer lint and laughing hysterically.
Uh oh.
Did you notice my funny name?

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-24-02
Okay Mister Cthulu, what's your main talent?
BLEAAAKFJGHDLKFJSHDOLORF
Hmmm ...

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-24-02
Okay, let's begin by introducing ourselves. I'm stickman.
I'm Clango, the friendly robot!
Do you have any special talents?
Not really. But I sure am friendly!
I just ought to end it all right now.
Somebody needs a hug!

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-24-02
Am I too late for the auditions?
Please let me die in peace.
Look at me, I'm a dog on a ball!
I'm a dog! And I'm on a ball! Neat, huh?
Man's best friend, my ass.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-24-02
Whilst Stickman decides on a new character for our comic, I'll entertain you by blowing something up!
I just spent two hours flaming people on a Star Trek message board.
Begone, foul troll!
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-24-02
Seeing as we couldn't find a decent new character, we decided to revive an old one!
Please put your hands together for Carl the eccentric scientist!
I'd clap if I had hands.
It's the thought that counts.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-25-02
Hey, Grey, I finished upgrading your ray gun.
Excellent.
Well, go ahead, give it a try!
I like! I like!

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-25-02
Did you just kill Carl the eccentric scientist?
Maybe.
I just ... can't ... take it anymore!
Need help?

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-25-02
Hey, stickman. Where's "Eggy"?
I'm afraid we've written him out of the comic.
Written him out? He's the author, dammit!
I'm sorry. Bringing him back would just ruin the continuity.
Screw continuity! Bring him back RIGHT NOW!
Yes, ma'am.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-26-02
Welcome back to the strip! Anything you'd like to say to the fans?
My life is a joke.
Say that one more time and I smack the crap out of you.
I just gotta be me.

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