In Three Panels

Great and not-so-great creative works ridiculed in a format that fits your busy schedule.

by evil_d
8-15-01
So, Memphis, now that you've been forced into one last wild night of grand theft auto on account of what a ****-up I am, what are we going to do?
We're gettin' the band back together. 'Specially that one chick. I don't know if she can steal any cars, but she's hot, and this film needs a lot of sex appeal to compensate for its crappy script.
I must steal 50 cars in one night, and one just *has* to be a special one I call Eleanor. She's my "unicorn", because every time I try to steal her, something goes wrong.
And I must put your white ass in jail. I'm ****ed 'cause I couldn't catch you before you retired, so you might say you're *my* unicorn. Surely one of us will be victorious, and the other disappointed.
Well, who could have anticipated that this would all have an ambiguous, feelgood ending? You stole 50 cars and did a ton of property damage, but I'll let you go because you saved my life. I think.
Thanks, sport. Now I'm off to a party where I'll get the girl and the car I've always wanted, and we'll celebrate something, I'm not sure what. Probably the end of this movie.

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In Three Panels

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