Mormon Muffin-A Letter From The Past by fizzy_water6-04-03 ...so the keg went dry and we finally went out. ...and on the dance floor I made out with two drunk ass lesbians! We miss you, and hope you're having a great time in Utah...signed - Orlando Gang. Lesbians?
Mormon Muffin - The Curse of Tutankscott by fizzy_water6-04-03 So the Goodwin Family Internet curse has finally been broken, huh? Yep. I even got me a Live Journal, Scott. That's great, pansy. I got little kids to beat up. See ya online!!! armssoslow, i don't get ur lj. but come over and watch wraslin...
Mormon Muffin-Dance Version Akima Rave #37826 by fizzy_water6-04-03 This sucks. All our friends are out partying. Too bad we don't drink, huh. LETS PLAY DDR!!!
Mormon Muffin-The Reason Mormons don't have Saints. by fizzy_water6-05-03 Lars Ulrich visits Utah. Eh dood! You check out my new alboom yet, St. Anger? Fucking Lars. I theenk you'll really dig our new sound. Hmm, maybe I won't kill him, just kick his ass. Eh! Nice acoostics! Jesus.
Mormon Muffin-Two more established characters by fizzy_water6-06-03 Hey Brian. I just got off work at Bi-Lo. Cool. Wanna listen to the new Linkin' Park cd? No! Freaking St. Anger is better! There's an asian in the band. Put it in.
Mormon Muffin-A Job I Wish I Had by fizzy_water6-08-03 Man this work at home thing really rocks. You said it! I just made 20 bucks while watching my new Animatrix DVD. Yeah well I made 30 in the time it took me to read my lj friends list. Nice! Hey, I just got the new 40k Chaos Ass Kicker, want to help me paint it all epic and cool?
Mormon Muffin-Meet Joe Dirt by fizzy_water6-09-03 Seaco Music - Sumter's Source of Antique Guitars... Hi Joe! I need to buy some new strings for my guitar. Let me tell you 'bout iron-nickel-titanium-zanium, I invented the stuff. First... No really, I have to go to work at Tony's Pizza in 5 minutes. Pizza? See, people think pizza comes from Romania, but the they don't even speak Roman! This here's a Cyber Twin. Best amp ever made.
Mormon Muffin-Funky Monks by fizzy_water6-11-03 Meanwhile, at the warehouse. Alright, let's go over that song again. Our show is in two hours. Do you know how to tune this thing, Phil? Here's a wig. Just act like you know what you are doing. Please. Hey check out what I learned. It's called a 'power chord'... Showtime... Where's the fuckin' mosh? Woo 7 Mary 3! Show your tits! Hi everyone, and welcome to the biggest disapointment of my life.
Mormon Muffin-Before, Part Two by fizzy_water6-11-03 Meanwhile, at the wharehouse... How come there are no strings on this, Phil? It looks cooler. Just act like you're playing power chords. What's a power chord? Don't worry about it. Pretend you're in Blink 182. Hey that band is good! My parents are going to disown me.
Mormon Muffin-The True Purpose of man by fizzy_water6-16-03 Layton, Utah ...and that's how Cro Magnon became modern man. Not this bullshit again...you saw that caveman special on Discovery didn't you. Yeah...why? Dammit Eric, it's Sunday. Why the hell weren't you reading your book of Mormon. TV just seemed more fun. Fun? We'll see how fun it is when you're burning in hell!...did they show any naked cavewoman boobies?
Mormon Muffin-Ninjas Suck by fizzy_water6-20-03 The dried up Salt Flats... Bow down before me, matey! You know it would do you good if you made some friends. Argh! Pirates don't NEED friends!
Mormon Muffin-My True Arch-Enemy by fizzy_water7-08-03 The way I interpret it. Hi, I'm John Stamos for 10-10-9-8-7. I also bang Rebecca Romijn on a daily basis. Sometimes she licks my shitpipe. I shoot gallons of spunk all over her naked body. I don't even have a real job. But that's ok, because I bang Rebecca Romijn. Sometimes too much of a good thing...can be a GREAT thing. Hey fuck you!!
Mormon Muffin - Limp Sea Biscuit by fizzy_water7-17-03 Our horse is too small! Our jockey is too big! Our...um... ...movie is going to suck. Movie is going to...hey! Watch what you say Sea Biscuit! Yeah, fuck you too. Who the fuck named me anyway?
Mormon Muffin-I'll Have Whatever the Creative Team Had by fizzy_water7-20-03 Arby's: Where we mess up your order on purpose. Boy our new Cheesy Veal Sandwhich smells great! Tell me something Oven Mitt, how do you smell without a nose? WHAT!?! I don't have a nose!!! Calm down mizzle, there are more important things to worry about! Like what? Like you shutting the fuck up.
Mormon Muffin-Hot Artists by fizzy_water7-28-03 Subway, Eat Fresh....leftover bread. ...Chicken Pizziola. Excellent choice! Are you just going to stand there and smile like a comatose dipshit? Make my sandwich, bitch!
Mormon Muffin-Boredom=Production by fizzy_water7-29-03 Yet another fast food setting... ...would you like Cheddar, American, or Swiss? Swiss, bitch. Fuckin' K Swiss. With my gang. In the hood. Just chillin. Is that the one with the remote controlled shoe?
Mormon Muffin-Sumter, The Greatest Place on Earth by fizzy_water7-29-03 ABC's new hit drama, "Sex in the Small Town." What's this I hear about you and Ashely? What about Jaime? WHAT?! I don't have a girlfriend! That's sick. Yeah, I just heard a rumor. I'll see you later. Later, Sami! Alright Bobbie Jo Ho, let's get dirty. Yay!
Mormon Muffin-I should change the name to "Ads that Suck." by fizzy_water7-31-03 Late Night Lawyers: Keeping YOU informed! ...warning has been issued for the following drugs: Prevacid, Xanztsios and Ovaltine. Yes, Ovaltine! This refreshing chocolate beverage is actually falsely advertised Gonorrhea medication! A general recall has been issued! Start suing now! Hey kids! Who wants some relief from thier itchy infected vaginas? More Ovaltine please!!!
Mormon Muffin-Why Drugs Are Bad, Pt. 1 by fizzy_water8-09-03 UCF's Newest Housing Community... Hey Grease. Did you get the stuff? Of course, my friend. Hey this is good chive. Where'd you get it? Some kid that lives in the building in front of us. I'm buzzing already. Hey look at me do the Raptor man. Adam. *HISS* Oh wow, this IS good shit...
Mormon Muffin-Why Drugs are Bad Pt.2 by fizzy_water8-10-03 Somewhere in the land of psychadelia... Dude... You can't fly. Shit. Wee!
Mormon Muffin-Why Drugs Are Bad Pt.3 by fizzy_water8-12-03 After a hefty dive through the sky... Where the hell am I? You're in Drug Land! Welcome to the wonderful world of mystery and magic! And you are... Your magical tour guide! Didn't really think you could kick me forever, did you? Just follow the nicotine trail!
Welcome back? by fizzy_water11-02-03 Arnie visits the Wasatch Front. GET DOWN!!! What? Total Recall is on the Superstation again. Oh. GET DOWN!!! Alright, shut up.
I wear my K-Swiss, Cheese! by fizzy_water8-24-04 One fine evening at Arby's... And what kind of cheese would you like on your sammy? Swiss, bitch. Fuckin' K-Swiss, like my shoes. ... Brand new, 5 stripes. Here, let me hold my shoe up to my face and pop a pose so you can snap a cap. I'm about to put 5 stripes on your face if you don't get out of my store, asshole. Dang.