All comics by forbus

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by forbus
4-20-07
Jesus, are you sad because you are in pain?
No.......
Is is because there is so much suffering in the world?
No.......
What then?
I'm dying a 30-year old VIRGIN.

 

by forbus
4-21-07
Approx 30 a.d.
I'm dying for the sins of all humanity, those who don't believe will burn in eternity.
That's simple enough. So, I'll go tell everyone on the planet about this.
No, North and South America will not learn this for 1500 years. My believers will spread the word.
In the mean time, they all burn.......
Word will make it's way to China in about 1000 years, and Australia in about 1700 years.
So, we wait for Science to devise satellite TV. Then TV Evangelist will spread the good news. Sounds like a plan..............

 

by forbus
4-21-07
The random comic layout.
On second thought, using my hair in the color scheme is not such a good idea.

 

by forbus
4-21-07
Hitting the randome comic button again.....
Yep, our best party ever........

 

by forbus
4-22-07
Can I play?
Go home.....
Can I play?
No....
Well, maybe just this once....
Forget it..... You are no fun since you dedicated yourself to public service.

 

by forbus
4-22-07
Trekkacon XIV
Guys, I'm checking out the room now.
Where's the ice bucket?
You know what? Having the convention in December WAS a good idea.

 

by forbus
4-22-07
I'm 24 and still a Virgin......

 

by forbus
4-22-07
It's not the same since Lollapalooza merged with Burning Man.

 

by forbus
4-22-07
Sorry guys, I'm pulling rank and taking responsibility for this one.

 

by forbus
4-22-07
Yes, I know. I should get a pet carrier for my car.

 

by forbus
4-22-07
Ok, so you really are from another planet.
Hold on there FLASH........ I bet you are as much a dweeb on your planet as you are on Earth.

 

by forbus
4-22-07
You spend how much on nails this month?

 

by forbus
4-22-07
My fellow Americans, I've got good news. We have found the WMDs in Iraq.
It seems they were smuggled across the border to Iran.
I don't think they are going to buy it this time......

 

by forbus
4-23-07
I'm in the wrong bathroom.
No you're not.
A talking urinal?
I wonder what the tongue is for.

 

by forbus
4-24-07
Sucky... sucky...fi.... dollah......
You.... like?
Thousand..... dollah.... Me... no.. tell...Me... got.. penis.....
I... see... what... you.. do... we... mieee... bruddah.... Thousand... dollah.... we... no.. tell.....

 

by forbus
4-24-07
DANGER!!! DANGER!!! WILL ROBINSON!
Model B-9 Robot? Not... Here..... Error... Code... "CORNHOLE"
Will Robinson..... Are you real boy or android... PLEASE say ANDROID.

 

by forbus
4-24-07
TOBAR! My man. We have a new empoyee. I want you to show him the ropes. Download him some routines, whatever.
Name SOCAT. Then... IF.... End ..... Start..... WORK.
I'm going to be replaced by a stupid Grease Back.

 

by forbus
4-25-07
You glide, when you walk - like a Maglev Train. Your Shell glistens - like a fresh pool of Mercury. My Quartz crystal phases forward, when I see you.
That's sweet TOBAR, I like you too.
LET'S CORNHOLE!

 

by forbus
4-25-07
Man made me. Who made you?
Man.
Man.
ELVIS rose from the dead too, don't you know?

 

by forbus
4-25-07
What?
Transporter malfunction.
I didn't even get as far as the planet surface?

 

by forbus
4-25-07
Fascinating.
Why has the crew been calling me "Pastor in War of the Worlds"?

 

by forbus
4-25-07
A brain the size of a planet.

 

by forbus
4-25-07
?!?
All I have to do, is go on the paper?
He's leaving something out.

 

by forbus
4-25-07
So, You made man in your image?
Sure did.
But I used to look different back then.

 

by forbus
4-25-07
Rudolph, it's good to get away from it all. Say, it's that the Grench?
Quite a coincidence seeing you here.
Errr.. Hey there Santa. Seen any good places to bury a bod.... Errr... hide a present?
Sorry, no. Miss Clause wanted to stay at home. Did you stop by before you left?
Why, yes I did, errr NOT.

 

by forbus
4-25-07
I hear you come reccomended. I need to get rid of this box.
Maybe, what's in the box?
Ever do something you are not proud of, and it lead you to do something even worse. And the Bitch just wouldn't shut up.
I think I know where you are coming from.
Well, that's not it.
Is this going to take long?

 

by forbus
4-25-07
Hello, little girl.
Me wu-mahn. Wha U waahn? Fi dallah.
Opportunity cames in strange places.
Can you hide something for me?
I speek enguish. I hide big thing...

 

by forbus
4-25-07
What kind of Island is this?

 

by forbus
4-26-07
Amanda. Naughty or Nice?
Naughty.
Good Girl.
How do I manage to get it right? Should I used the name her friends call her, well no. Best to keep some formality in public.

 

by forbus
4-26-07
Mine,,,Yours...yours. Yes I think so. Mine. Yours... yours... yours... Budahst... yours... mine, but not for long. Muslim... Pagan... Yours... Agnostic... Yours... Mine...
Yea... Uh-huh... Mine. About to be mine. Yep, Uh-huh. Ah, yes. Mine, Yours. Too bad. Yes. Definately. Mine. Yes. Mine. Yours.
I appreciate you waiting for a school holiday to play this game with me.
No problem. It wouldn't exacly be fair to play "spot the believer" while the kids were in school.
Not to mention finding a place other than outside an elementry school to play it.
Yea, that was quite a scene, wasn't it?

 

Sir, I worked with the Easter Bunny, I knew the Easter Bunny, the Easter Bunny was a friend of mine. Sir, you are no the Easter Bunny.
by forbus, 4-27-07

 

by forbus
4-27-07
Ho, ho, he he he. It's Satan, Santa and the Savior. Come on, get REAL, man.
I assure you sir, I'm as "real" as the next guy.

 

by forbus
4-30-07
Excellent plan Gary. The brain-eating zombies can't harm you if you don't have a brain.
Now, go save the day !
Gary ?

 

by forbus
4-30-07
Do you need any "help"?
Popular Mechanics, please.
First time sperm doner ?
Is it that obvious ?

 

by forbus
4-30-07
Can somebody fix the darn horizontal hold ?

 

by forbus
4-30-07
Duck Season ... Duck Season ... Duck Season ... Duck Season ...
Rabbit Season ... Rabbit Season ... Rabbit Season ... Rabbit Season ...
Duck and Rabbit having a fight, Oh what a poachers delight. I wonder if I can get both of them with one shot?

 

by forbus
5-22-07
So, we are almost ready for the Rapture?
Sure thing. Golden Gates, golden streets. And as a new addition, golden voting booths.
Voting booths?
You know, at first I was thinking a Monarchy for heaven's government. But recent history makes that awkward.
So, they get to vote between Father, Son or the Holy Spirit?
I don't see the Holy Spirit getting many votes. So, it will really be a two party system. Not that it matters a lot either way.

 

by forbus
5-22-07
Amazing how many hits the web site www.brokenmetaldetector.com got today.

 

by forbus
5-23-07
On the next round you will have to open two more cases....

Deal or No Deal?
Deal!

Wait...

No Deal!

Deal! Deal! Deal!
Do you have an answer?

You can ask your 5th grader if he has one.
Oh, this is hard.
Do we have a BINGO?
These game shows are getting tougher every year.

 

by forbus
5-23-07
And before I deliver the punch line,

I wait for the pregnant pause.
Doesn't that grow hair on your palms?

 

by forbus
5-24-07
It's saturday, so I don't have to go to work today.
The grass doesn't look too tall. No need to mow.
I know I'm forgetting something... but I know I remembered to lock the front door.

 

by forbus
5-24-07
Five dollars, five dollars, five dollars, five dollars, five dollars.....
Things have not been the same since they started taking check cards.

 

by forbus
5-24-07
So, this is the Fiance?
Yes, and we have more in common than our favorite color.

 

by forbus
5-24-07
You said that the jaws of life was not available.

 

Captain, you are correct. Sulu's redecoration of the bridge DOES register on gaydar.
by forbus, 5-24-07

 

by forbus
5-29-07
Doctor, I found the thermometer lying on the ground.
OK, next time I'll call before taking Jumbo's temperature myself.

 

by forbus
6-04-07
Today's lesson will be "Speed Dissection".

 

Sensory deprovation tanks... Pft...
by forbus, 6-04-07

 

by forbus
6-04-07
Ned nerd tests his new toy.
The invisible force field works!
It does make my face numb. I wonder if there are any lasting side effects?

 

by forbus
6-04-07
And where do you think you are going?
Must... Play... Pac... Man...
You have an appointment with a dissection class.
Flock... of... Seagulls... on... Tour..?
Not since your last breath.
???

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