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"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters." - Demetri Martin

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What's your favorite Christmas song, mommy?
"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus".
Do you know all the words?
Of course! Oh, what a laugh it would have been, if daddy had only seen, mommy kissing Santa Claus last night!
So the little boy's dad was a cuck?
Well, he-- OH MY GOD!!!
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