All comics by frogthechicken

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by frogthechicken
1-08-05
The story, as well as I can remember, began on a cold day in December...
In the frigid wind and the decending fog was born a chicken known only as... Frog.
He had no real friends, no mom, and no dad! No one else knew what became of them, and he never had...

 

by frogthechicken
1-08-05
The farm had many creatures, but they stayed away, and Frog fell deeper into his drug habit by the day.
.sigh.
As an outcast, he lived without love, without pity, so he killed everyone and moved to the city.
He lived in the highest apartment in the complex, a one-room flat, but nothing very interesting happened to him until he met that cat...
Hey... how the hell did you get in here?

 

by frogthechicken
1-08-05
About FtC:
Frog the Chicken was a concept developed by the creator of these stories along with the_real_folk_blues.
...the more you know*
The creator then took the early concept and used it, basing it somewhat on her own life, and people she's known and met.
Thank you, and good night.
Plus, I mean, it's a moody, whiny, self- hating chicken and a cat that's more or less a drunken whore. Weee!

 

by frogthechicken
1-08-05
One day, Frog decided that he wanted to throw a party!
Please Albert, don't ruin this party like you did the last one you went to! Ooo, if you do, I'll... I'll kill myself and you'll be the one that has to live with it!
Frog spent the whole day getting everything ready and inviting all their neighbours!
That painting isn't straight!
#
By the time the party was almost ready to begin, Frog was nervous.
#
Relax honey! Party time XDXD

 

by frogthechicken
1-08-05
The guests all arrive.
Woamg I'm a little dizzzy come here and kithsss me.
Look, Albert, this is my one shot at having real friends and neighbours in this city, so I beg PLEASE, no drunken whoring?
Frog calms down soon enough and moves through the guests, making conversation.
So I was sitting there and guess what happened? My sister walked in and told me that it was a tumor... wait, who's that?
Oh no...
I can be a VERY bad pussy!

 

by frogthechicken
1-08-05
Annoyed by Albert's whoring, Frog sat and watched him play the crowd all night.
I have a corset if you'd like to see me in it...
And then sometimes I enjoy tubesocks... if you know what I mean.
I've got a banana for you.

 

by frogthechicken
1-08-05
How could you embarrass me like that, when I begged you not to?
Guess I just can't help it! =^.^=
Frog kept to himself after the party ended. He didn't want to see Albert, but then a thought occured to him.
Maybe I'm just jealous because he doesn't pay that kind of attention to me...?
Now sober, Albert saw his choice of bedmates from the previous night.
WHAT THE F...

 

by frogthechicken
1-21-05
Introducing: Silva!
Frog! FROG!
Oh, what is it, Silva?
What's wrong with you???
O... nothing. Just... languishing.
You’re always languishing. Come check out my new script.
Since when did you start writing scripts?

 

by frogthechicken
1-21-05
What's it about?
The title is ‘Autoerotic Automatopia’.
What does that mean?
Don’t you see? It’s a drama about homosexual robots in the big city!
Autoerotic Automatopia
Oh, Z6900-11402, this new implant has made me almost develop emotions for you, real ones…
I know, N5100, and I wish I could understand, but the central power core in my chest that keeps me functioning is made of space shuttle grade titanium, material number 76. I feel… nothing.

 

by frogthechicken
1-21-05
Frog felt sad, Frog felt alone. To Frog, no where felt like home.
Sigh.
Frog thought to himself, “now there’s a great plan!”
Tonight I’ll drink all the alcohol I can!
Going out to a bar, are we?
Now, our dear Frog has the belief… that drinking binges bring relief.
So, where are you from? *Hic*
Around.

 

by frogthechicken
1-22-05
Frog drank and he drank until the first light of day!
I think I've had enough, take me home, okay?
They drove for a while but Frog failed to see...
who are you... and where are you taking me?
The stranger just smiled as he pushed Frog to the floor.
No, I think you could use a little more!
I've gotta vomit!!!

 

by frogthechicken
1-22-05
Hey! Bob! Bear just caught himself a fly! Or whatever.
...Who is Bob?
DIRTAY BOBBAY!
What do you say we do, Perry, my best friend?
I say we fuck his shit up, all over again.
All day long they drugged him, all day long he was tested.
Do you think doing this could get us arrested?

 

by frogthechicken
1-22-05
Frog began to feel hopeless, much more than sad.
Wait, where's that cellphone I had?
Frog waited for the right moment and quietly dialed 911!
We're back, little guy, and we're gonna have more fun!
A few minutes later, many police rolled up outside!
Looks like now you two are going for a ride!

 

by frogthechicken
1-22-05
Frog passed into unconsciousness... and he began to dream.
HEY THERE LITTLE BOY WOULD YOU LIKE SOME ICE CREAM
The amount of drugs in his body had made Frog go mad...
There are four pins in the liver of a bogwat. Chindrip kidney nut!
This new world inside Frog's mind was indeed a strange place! (Hey, I don't always have to rhyme...)
I AM SPHYGMOMAN!

 

by frogthechicken
1-22-05
My name is Socky.
Can you help me find my friend Bob?
OMG SOCKY IZ TRIPPIN' YO
HEY? Why are you making me talk like this? What happened to my hilarious, perverted ghetto speak!?

 

by frogthechicken
1-23-05
Frog's journey took him deep into his subconscious, deeper than he had ever gone before.
I don't think I can take this anymore!
HI!
Who are you???
I am Flowers, the deliciously irreverant leader of the army of ALL armies, set to destroy the Earth as you know it!

 

by frogthechicken
1-23-05
Why do you want to destroy the Earth?
...
Is it some deep, psychological, primitive need to dominate the weak?
Kinda.
T.M.I.
Well... that, and the fact I have a very small penis...

 

by frogthechicken
1-23-05
Why does it matter to you anyway, who I am?
You're the product of my imagination.
So, you realize you're talking to yourself, right?

 

by frogthechicken
1-23-05
There was no way out that Frog could see.
If I am in a coma I wish they would kill me!
Frog ran and ran, he ran very far! He thought
why did I ever get in to that car???
What was next? Frog was afraid to ask!
I'm a squirrel and I have an ax!

 

by frogthechicken
1-23-05
So the squirrel with the ax chased Frog for a time!
Why the hell do you always have to rhyme?
The writer decided then that Frog had been through enough and decided to allow him to wake up.

 

by frogthechicken
1-23-05
Albert!
Where am I?
You're in the hospital, Frog. What the hell were you thinking, letting yourself get taken advantage of that way!? You had to have a complete blood transfusion!
I know, I know...
I mean, seriously, you know I love you.
Ha, maybe.
So, invite ME next time! Damn, you can be SO selfish.

 

by frogthechicken
1-24-05
Frog! FROG!
O... hi Silva.
I heard about you having to go to the hospital and everything...
O...
I mean, they did pump so many narcotics into you that you were in a temporary coma.
I think I'm blind.

 

by frogthechicken
1-27-05
So, Unit-9.F, how are things? You know... since the break up...
Onoe...
Splended, I1, simply splended.
I am now about to lock myself inside this steel compressor behind me, which will slowly crush me into a 12x12 cube.

 

by frogthechicken
1-27-05
When he was a kitten, his family would fight, and their screaming would keep him awake at night.
He would wander alone, all the time he would cry! He would walk the lonely streets, just wanting to die.
Well, actually, none of that's true and this is the reason why, almost everything Albert says contains a little white lie. [At least, Frog thinks so]

 

by frogthechicken
1-27-05
"Let's go out to dinner!" Said Frog to Albert one day.
Just come out with me, you don't even have to pay!
Alright.
So to the restaurant they went and they chose the finest seat. Frog ordered a fresh, green salad and Albert ordered a plate of meat.
The night started off fine, it seemed to be going well... until Albert ripped a fart that the whole restaurant could smell.
That one was spicy!

 

by frogthechicken
1-27-05
"Why must you always do this to me?" Wailed the broken-hearted Frog.
I can't help it, dude, it was all the eggnog!
Frog tried to calm down and finish the rest of his food, but Albert continued to eat loudly, belch, and just be rude!
MORE MEAT!
Frog pushed himself away from the table and ran to the loo, splashed some water on his face and thought about what to do.
How many ways are there to kill someone in his sleep without him being able to fight back?

 

by frogthechicken
1-27-05
Frog thought of all the times Albert had hurt him and he got very mad! Frog left Albert at the restaurant alone and hoped he felt bad!
Frog went to bed that night and felt a bit of regret.
Tomorrow I'll tell Albert that I was just very upset...
Frog woke up to a sound and about had a fit... Albert was passed out in a pool of his own vomit.
...You motherfucker.
#

 

by frogthechicken
3-24-05
I've been gone for quite some time... so I guess this is my apology. As if anyone actually reads this shit.
You see, life has been crazy for me lately. Not too much different from this generic background of a magical happy place.
No, I have no idea what I'm talking about, either.
So, yeah.

 

by frogthechicken
3-24-05
Frog!
What, Albert? It's 11:30 in the morning. You don't normally wake up for another 2-3 hours!
I'm moving out.
Yes, alright.
Wait... you're not going to get angry with me? I just told you I was moving and you hadn't heard anything about this before a minute ago.
Oh, I'm fuming.

 

by frogthechicken
3-24-05
So... you're saying you're alright with it?
Yes, quite alright.
I'm moving in with my new lover, you know. 11 years older than me with two kids.
Good for all of you.
DAMN IT WHY WON'T YOU GET ANGRY? I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THIS! DAMN PSYCHOLOGY... hey where are you going?
To set your sheets on fire. ^^

 

by frogthechicken
8-09-05
Frog burned down the house and everything inside, then got into a taxi and went for a ride.
He rode down to the waterfront, then walked down to the dock, removed a photo of Albert from his pocket and dropped it between the rock.
*sigh*
Out in the wind and fog and stinging rain, Albert stood waiting to take the next train.
X(

 

by frogthechicken
1-10-06
In this case, I have chosen to represent myself as a dolphin (since there is no anteater character) to emphasize teh animal pr0n subplot. Special guest Mandingo.
1 rUb y0r n1p5 t3h l00l
w3 sh411 d0 1t le1k 4nt34t3rs
0m6 *5w00n* 1 5uk ur t33t5
1 spr4y U w1th my mu5k
1 w0nd3r whY y0u ju57 p1553d 0n m3
0r w3 k4n d0 1t leik turtl3s 1n t3h s4nd

 

by frogthechicken
1-10-06
"I don't need anyone", Frog said, "and as for Albert, I hope he's dead."
Through the valleys and over the mountains Frog went... until all of his money he had spent.
And then in a distant land...
what the fuck?
HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *click click click*

 

by frogthechicken
1-10-06
omg crab
...
I CONQUER YOU
okay...
Seriously. I have power. I am a magical crab.
Okay then I'm going to keep you in an aquarium in my living room and never ever let you out ever
I'll grant you a wish if you don't...

 

by frogthechicken
1-13-06
Thank you soooo much, 657E951, for coming out shopping with me.
No need to thank me, but why do you need clothes? You're a robot.
I JUST WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL FOR YOU... I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU!!!
There now... don't cry... 9490-201043505019345... you're embarrassing yourself...
May I help you?
BRING ME YOUR FINEST DRESS OR FEEL DEATH

 

by frogthechicken
1-18-06
So tell me more about this "I'll grant you a wish" stuff
Oh, that was all just talk to keep you from imprisoning and later eating me, sorry.
So you're not magical?
No, I'm just a regular crab. Please don't hurt me.
*Sigh* at least I have someone to talk to, even if you are full of lies.
*click click click*

 

by frogthechicken
1-18-06
What's the matter, chicken?
It's a long story.
...well?

 

by frogthechicken
1-18-06
Okay. I grew up on a farm. I got tired of everyone being terrible to me and feeling like an outsider, so I blew the place up.
...and?
I moved to the city and lived with this cat, but I got tired of him always letting me down, so the day he announced he was moving out, I burned the house.
And now you feel you don't belong anywhere, since all your homes you burnt to the ground?
Basically. I've thought about returning to the wasteland that was once the farm, for nostalgic purposes.
And to kill any remaining survivors? ...And if so, can I go?

 

by frogthechicken
1-18-06

 

by frogthechicken
1-18-06
With the crab's help (IE, petty robberies), Frog had enough money to return to the farm.
It really brings back memories...
FREAK!!!
sigh
FROG! Is that you?
Oh shit... I don't believe it...

 

by frogthechicken
1-21-06
Frog could not believe his eyes...
But... how did you survive?
The mouse looked at Frog with big, sad eyes...
I climbed up a tree and watched everyone die.
Did anyone else live? Or just you and I?
I know you killed them, Frog. I just wonder why.

 

by frogthechicken
1-21-06
Frog sat down and explained what he had done.
If you hated it all so much, why didn't you just run?
So Frog, out of guilt, stayed with him on the farm. The days passed, then weeks, but Frog didn't seem to notice that his traveling companion had disappeared.
Hey, where did your friend go?
Hey, where's all my stuff?

 

by frogthechicken
1-21-06
I have made a mistake... originally I made the small furry animal that Frog encounters this squirrel...
...but for some reason continued the character as this mouse. I apologize for the fuck up. Same character.

 

by frogthechicken
2-12-06
OMFG we've drank almost the entire case, Gents! Who's buying the next one?
We bought the last one. It's Zimri's turn. Zimri?
What, I don't have any money left in the bank! ..Man, I'd do anything to get some beer money right now...
Did you say anything?
Mppphhhhhhhhssssss
Keep sucking, bitch, you aren't getting a penny until I blow it all over your face. Now lick my taint.

 

by frogthechicken
2-12-06
mmmmmmprrs
Man I ain't never known someone who could suck so good!
rrrrffffaaassss
I'm gonna start calling you Hoover!
Hey guys, I got the booze!
Zimri, what's that crusting up in your beard?

 

by frogthechicken
2-12-06
Hey, Helena, stand way back!
I'm not actually a man, this was just the SC character that resembled me the most
*bang*
Hey! You shot me!
Hehehe?
Man, right in the lung.

 

by frogthechicken
2-12-06
Sorry...
It's okay. The hole isn't that big.
Any trouble breathing?
Not really.
You should go to the hospital.
Nah, I'm cool.

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