All comics by gaxicus

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by gaxicus
2-11-03
They call it "EverCrack" for a reason....
I like you, Mike. Why don't we go out?
I'm busy, Mari.
I'll let you touch my boobs!
No thanks
Why not?
WILL YOU SHUT UP??? I AM PLAYING EVERCRACK!!!

 

by gaxicus
2-11-03
"EverCrack"
I heard you turned down Mari.
Yeah.
She was really sad about it. She's at home, crying.
She'll get over it.
Is that game really more important to you than snuggling up with a cute blonde?
You don't get any EP's for character interaction.

 

by gaxicus
2-11-03
"EverCrack"
I see that you're enriching the corporations again.
Yeah.
Why do you do that? Are you trying to enable the corporate fascists?
Not trying; it just sort of happens.
Don't you care at all about the suffering of the common man?
No. 0-level characters are a dime a dozen.

 

by gaxicus
2-11-03
Mike! 'Tis I, your alter ego, Gaxicus the Ranger!
Hey.
You've played EverCrack so much that I've come to life.
Kewl
As you created me, you are my master. What is thy bidding?
Get back into the goddam computer. This game is boring without a character to run.

 

by gaxicus
2-11-03
I heard your EverCrack character came over.
Uh huh.
So where is he?
I sent him to get me some food.
I hate to do this, friend bull, but my master commands me to obtain for him a "burger".
weenie

 

by gaxicus
2-11-03
Your EverCrack character killed my bull.
Sorry. At least the burgers were good.
Well, yeah, but how am I supposed to practice without a bull?
Dunno.
*burp*
You want me to do WHAT??
Make horns and try to gore me.

 

by gaxicus
2-11-03
Hello, Earth creature.
Hey.
The people of Thorxnxz demand to know how you brought your EverCrack character to life.
Achieve 200th level, upgrade to "XP", and dump "Fresca" on your keyboard.
THE SECRET IS OURS! High three!
Our army of orcs will soon be ready!

 

by gaxicus
2-11-03
I am here from Thorxnxz to kill you.
Uh huh.
We will prevent you from sharing your secret method of bringing EverCrack characters to life, so only we will have the technology.
Too late. It's all over the 'Net.
Who are YOU???
"Zangar the Psycho", 521st level PC-killer.

 

by gaxicus
2-11-03
So, we meet again, Zangar.
hey d00d
As usual, I do not understand the words you speak.
j00 R n07 a 1337 d00d
No matter. Shall we take over this world now?
0K0K. L37z $7@r7 w!7h "R@d!0 $h@ck"

 

by gaxicus
2-11-03
Mike Gaxman?
Yeah.
I'm from the FBI. I'm here to ask you to find a way to stop your EverCrack character, who is trying to take over the world. He's in Montana.
Sorry.
I need a Cisco router.
Sir, this is a "Taco Bell".

 

by gaxicus
2-11-03
Well, I hope you're happy.
Why?
Your EverCrack character and his evil partner have begun their campaign of horror. I'm one of their victims, and I come from the afterlife to haunt you.
Sucks to be you.
own3D!
*choke*
...wallhack...
*ook*

 

by gaxicus
2-11-03
Dude, you gotta stop Gaxicus and Zangar!
Why?
They're destroying cities and wreaking havoc all over the world!
So?
It's making Bush's defense buildup look like a good idea.
Well, sorry; I'm not here to solve your problems for you.

 

by gaxicus
2-11-03
What the hell?
Why is AIH* sucking butt so hard tonight?
(*AIH=America In Hell)
Mr. Gaxman? I'm from AIH. Your EverCrack character, Gaxicus, just pumped a quiver of sheaf arrows into our gateway. Do you know what that means?
Yeah. It's time for me to switch to NutZero.

 

by gaxicus
2-12-03
All right, Zangar! We have successfully toppled the government of Iraq.
k3w1
Now we must turn our eyes to North Korea.
@11 th3!r b@$3
w!11 b310ng 2 u$!
*heh*
This is really starting to tick me off.

 

by gaxicus
2-12-03
Hello, Mr. Gaxman. I'm from the FBI.
Yeah, I remember.
Your EverCrack character and his partner are singlehandedly implementing the US' foreign policy with regards to the "Axis of Evil".
So? They're kicking a bunch of terrorist butt for you. What's the problem?
They're not leaving anyone alive in the areas they conquer.
Hey, you take the EP's where you can get them. Kewl! I just went up another level!

 

by gaxicus
2-12-03
Mr. President, the situation with North Korea is becoming critical.
Explain it to me.
Gaxicus and Zangar have installed themselves as the new dictators.
And?
Zangar, we now have a base from which to seize control of China.
I g3t 2 0wn @11 7h3 ch!xx0r$

 

by gaxicus
2-12-03
Mike, you HAVE to stop Gaxicus and Zangar!
Why?
"WHY"?? Because they're taking over the world!
If they can take over the world, I doubt that one college student is going to be able to stop them.
And I already know that offering him sex won't work. Crud.
Damn, this keyboard is sticky. Guess I never got all the Fresca out of it.

 

by gaxicus
2-12-03
MIKE! You're OUTSIDE! What happened?
Rebecca CLEANED MY KEYBOARD. It wiped out both Gaxicus and Zangar! Now I have to start ALL OVER AGAIN!!!
Well, since you're out here ANYWAY....
What?
The End of
"The EverCrack Saga"
Oooh, Mike, that feels so good!
Hey...this is MUCH more fun than EVERCRACK!

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