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In the hopefully not-too-distant future:
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| Hello, all, and nice to see you again. I'm Donald Rumsfeld, but you already knew that. | |
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| I'm happy to report that the war is over, and America victorious. For sharing this joyous occasion with us, the President has authorized me to give each reporter here a special gift. | |
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| Damn! It was supposed to be a secret! | |
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