All comics by jellotheferret

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by jellotheferret
4-30-03
So, we Americans have saved you from the evil Saddam Hussein. You owe us big time.
You know, you've killed everyone in my family except my daughter.
We just bombed Saddam's headquarters. look at that rubble burn!
THAT WAS MY DAUGHTER'S SCHOOL.

 

by jellotheferret
4-30-03
Man, I just cut up a dog that came into my yard. I am fucking EVIL.
My brother blew himself up on a bus full of Israeli schoolchildren.
You're bullshitting me. Nobody can be that evil.
Bullshit nothing. Allah Akbar.

 

by jellotheferret
4-30-03
So, my minion, what the fuck is up mah nigga?
Nuttin much, mane. I killed sum lil azns and shit. dig?
DAYMN, bro. AZN's?? Yo off da shizzle, fo sho.
I'ma go mess wit da lil bish's righ now.
Why...why am I here?
SHUDDUP BISH! Make me some brownies.

 

by jellotheferret
4-30-03
Santa is used to simpler times up at the North Pole.
HOHOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS! How is it coming along, Mr. Elf?
My name if fuckin' Richard Gomerrez! Not "Mr. Elf" you fatass.
Ever since the Elves started a Union, the Christmas Spirit has dwindled...
Mr. Elf! Im ashamed to hear such foul language from one of Santa's Helpers!
Cram it up your ass, Santa.
Eventually...Santa can take no more!
You son-of-a-bitch! Im going to rape your insolent ass.
I think its time for one of those coffee breaks....

 

by jellotheferret
4-30-03
Mr. Jesus, I have a question!
Ask away, my child.
Do you love everyone?
No. I hate you actually. You're ugly and you pick your nose.
But isn't everyone beautiful in God's eyes?
No. Not you. I'm looking at my dick right now, and its not going anywhere.

 

by jellotheferret
5-01-03
I'm not used to being discriminated against, how do you deal with it Jamal?
Well, just wait out the storm, and when it dies down, keep bringing it up.
I don't think i follow you...
Notice how guilty white people in general feel about this countries past! Its GREAT!
So... you want the spectre of racism to never disappear?
When it does, so does my special treatment. Us black folk are a resourceful lot.

 

by jellotheferret
5-01-03
I'm not used to being discriminated against, how do you deal with it Jamal?
Well, just wait out the storm, and when it dies down, keep bringing it up.
I don't think i follow you...
Notice how guilty white people in general feel about this countries past! Its GREAT!
So... you want the spectre of racism to never disappear?
When it does, so does my special treatment. Us black folk are a resourceful lot.

 

by jellotheferret
5-01-03
Hey Richard, whats up?
Shut up you Negro Untermensch scum!!!
What? the fuck is your problem?
I've discovered a new philosophy that says im better than you. SEIG HEIL!
My dick's bigger than yours.
STOP MAKING FUN OF ME.

 

by jellotheferret
5-01-03
Abdul, tell me some horror stories about the Israeli occupation of Palestine. Im writing a report condemning the jewish nation.
How would I know, I'm Syrian?
Then make up something! Shit.
You're a pretty lame Nazi. Shouldnt you be out at a Klan meeting or something?
Shouldn't you be flying a plane into a building or something?
Ashallah Akbar karesh al Alemein...

 

by jellotheferret
5-02-03
*sigh* if only i could find myself an emo boy. theyre so perfect.
Well hello there.....
Hi, im Trace. My last girlfriend called me a pussy and dumped me, because I cried at the end of Bambi.
CHA-CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
Bambi...run! Run for safety! *sniffle*

 

by jellotheferret
5-02-03
It bothers me Richard, with so much hate in the world, how can you live with yourself being at the forefront of it?
Abdul, its simple. The white race has created everything important to human civilization.
Thats bullshit. Asians and Middle Easterners created most of the ideas and concepts you use today.
WHATEVER! Whites created everything. Biology, Evolution, Algebra...
Algebra is an Arabic word.
And I'm FAILING that class! See my point?!

 

by jellotheferret
6-14-03
I am black.
I, too, am Black.
I do not believe in stereotypes, I am my own person with my own set of beliefs and morals.
I, too, feel the same. I am my own person, and there is nobody like me, in the entire world.
Yo, dawg, nice shirtchoo got der.
word.

 

by jellotheferret
6-20-03
A man can only take so much bitching....
BITCHBITCHBITCH BITCHBITCHBITCH BITCHBITCHBITCHBITCH BITCHBITCH
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Did you say something? i was too busy bitching.
I said shut the fuck up im tired of listening to you.
Oh, i thought you said something important. Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch......
murder is illegal...murder is illegal....murder is illegal....

 

by jellotheferret
6-20-03
The masterful artist has just finished his latest comic creation.
Once the character has been drawn, the artist must then give him a personality
Now...what kind of character will this be? A hippy? A beatnick?
Je suis un Français!
Comic drawing is a long, thankless task.
Oh for fucks sake.....

 

by jellotheferret
6-24-03

 

by jellotheferret
7-20-03
Hi, I'm Ashley Impson!
And I'm Jonny Depp!
We're here live at the Tool concert! Let's go inside!
Where's the rum?!?
These are my kind of people!
Life is pain. Love is hate. Fire is wet. I breathe cheese. Abstraction is the clearest form of reality. Nobody loves me.

 

by jellotheferret
7-21-03
An intellectual conversation between Jonny Depp and a guy named Vince
Guess what.
Chicken Butt.
....
....
Lucky guess, you son of a bitch.

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