All comics by jeremy

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by jeremy
1-28-01
Man, was that Super Bowl halftime show lame!
I dunno, I thought Britney Spears was the highlight of the evening
What are you talking about? Britney Spears singing Aerosmith will haunt my dreams tonight
I love and respect Britney, not only for her natural musical talent, but her sassy, refreshing outlook on life
OK, this is the last time I'm letting you eat those mushrooms you found growing in that Long John Silver's dumpster
The purple ones taste like fish sticks!

 

by jeremy
1-28-01
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Goat sodomization
...

 

by jeremy
1-28-01
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Goat sodomization

 

by jeremy
1-28-01
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Goat sodomization

 

by jeremy
1-28-01
How many capitalist bourgeois pigs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two - one to exploit the proletariat, and the other to control the means of production!!!
Get it? HAHA!
You're lucky there's no "asiangirlcommitsa187" icon on this web site

 

by jeremy
1-28-01
Dammit! I had to move out of Pemberton Hall today...
Pemberton? That's an all-girls' dorm -- how the hell did you get in there?
I just put down "female" on my housing application
And no one realized you weren't a girl until late January? I don't know whether to laugh or cry
No one WOULD have realized, either, if I didn't keep selling videotapes of my roomate's shower routine on Ebay

 

by jeremy
1-29-01
Hey man, we need to talk
Can't this wait? I almost got this acupuncture thing down
All your money's gone! You blew $1.2 million in the past hour because of all the stupid things you did
Hey, I'm VERY responsible with my money!
Dude! Two minutes ago you gave a chick your number on the back of your Visa card
What can I say? She had that Fiona Apple look going for her -- and you KNOW how I can't resist that Fiona Apple look...

 

by jeremy
1-29-01
They're making a "Mummy 2". My will to live is gone
You sure it's not gas? Whenever I think I'm suicidal, it's usually just gas
No man, it's real this time...
Don't worry, I'll just go to this bar and get you some medicine
They sell prozac in bars???
Prozac? Whoa - slow down Bill Gates...I was thinking some generic aspirin and a couple of 99 cent wine coolers.

 

by jeremy
1-29-01
Hey girls! What are you doing this weekend?
Doing my taxes 3 months early
Reuniting with my long-lost twin
Wow, sounds like you've got a lot planned
Yeah, and then I'm going to volunteer at my local nursing home
And I'm going to follow my dream to become a hit bluegrass recording star
HAHA, no really, what are you going to do this weekend?
Get drunk on fermented Juicy Juice in a corner by myself
I'm going to masturbate to C-Span

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