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| This year, my loved ones clubbed together to afford a hobo-style radioactive vomit-stained string vest for me. | |
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| I'm also pretty sure it was infected with Plague, so it was straight back to Woolworths, yesterday. | |
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| First girl on the tills offered me the dregs of a can of Skol, with a cigarette end in it in exchange for it. | |
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| Next guy offered me $500 billiion Zimbabwaen. The next just said she would punch me in the nuts. | |
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| Finally, I settled for the 2008 Detroit Lions. | |
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| Should have taken the cock-punching. | |
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