All comics by jools

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by jools
9-15-01
The Sticke brothers are having some financial trouble.
What's the point?
Says here: "Pay up or I'll repossess your teeth"
Get me a hammer and nail.
OK, as long as you use it responsibly.
Shit.
I told you that DIY frontal brain lobotomy was out of fashion this season. Now chopping your left ear off is all the rage.

 

by jools
9-16-01
The Sticke Brothers have a new PC.
What a cool PC!
Congratulations on buying your Anthrax 3000 PC!...
Huh!?
...It has many useful programs, such as EasyNuke 2001, CamelBlaster 5000...
Stupid PC! It has really crap programs!
Uh Oh! It was addressed to the Pentagon!

 

by jools
9-16-01
The Stickes have a new robot.
I have done your bidding, Master.
I said PUT OUT THE TRASH!!!! I DID NOT SAY "PUT ME OUT"!!
Your brother told me you were trash.
Why that no-good son of a bitch!
What is the the meaning of this?!?!?
I, er, said you were a, er, smash. At parties. He must of, er, misheard.

 

by jools
9-17-01
I KISS YOU!!!!!!!!!
Shut up Diesel
I KISS YOU!!!!!!!!!
Shut up Diesel
I KISS YOU!!!!!!!!!
Shut up Diesel

 

by jools
11-06-01
(apologies)
Tonight, on Ready Steady Cook...
Osama Bin Laden...
will make a big apple crumble in ten seconds!

 

by jools
1-19-02
So you haf sex vis all your animals?
Ja, ze gerbils get a bit annoyed sometimes zough.

 

by jools
1-20-02
What seems to be the problem?
I ARSE TALKINGG IN ENGRISH ALL THE TIME!!!
You need an injection of YankWank.
GIIVVE TOBOR YANKWANK!!!!!
There you go. It has, er, a small side effect...
YOU BASTARD!!! TOBOR WILL MAKE YOU PAY!!!

 

by jools
1-20-02
As Sartre said, Hell is other people.
I wonder if he's right?
Yup, he's right. There's another person and he is in hell
Little does he know, there's mescaline on the end of this nail. One more hit...

 

by jools
1-20-02
So I ARSE! says to him: "Well, them rotor ARSE! turbines ain't gonna generate ARSE! gravitons all by themselves!"
H - ARSE!- Ha.
What the ARSE! are you talking about?

 

by jools
1-20-02
What do you reckon this stuff is?
Parcel paper?
A strange tree?
Swamp water?
Nah, it's got to be...
DeXx's underwear!!!

 

by jools
1-20-02
I told you Tobor, I have no arse!
TOBOR NO CARE, TOBOR MAKE HOLE WHERE ARSE SHOULD BE!!!
Fine then, try.
TOBOR WILL ENJOY THIS!!!
TOBOR FOUND THAT HARD, BUT WAS REWARDING IN THE END!!!!!
*moan* Damn those who do stickman comic characters!

 

by jools
1-20-02
Isn't it great that we managed to escape from that horrible "strip-creator" place!
Yes, I certainly won't miss that horrible robot Tobor!
Suddenly, something crashes to the ground with a boom...
RAARRR!!!!! WHERE ARE THOSE TWO FUGITIVES!!!!!!!!
I FOUND YOU!!!!!! BUT BEFORE I TAKE YOU BACK...
Oh shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

 

by jools
1-20-02
As soon as Jesus saw the chicken, he knew it was going to be a bad day.

 

by jools
1-20-02
In the Doctor's lab...
Finally! I have discovered the meaning of life! Send it to my assistant directly, Clango!
Your wish is my command!
Hey, Sticke, the Doctor has sent us the meaning of life!
What is it then?
It says: "The meaning of life is..." and the next sentence is obscured by a coffee stain.
Shit. That is bloody typical.

 

by jools
1-20-02
Hey girls!
Hi Mr Stripcreator!
*yawn*
What are you going to do with this strip then?
HAHAHA!!!!!!!!

 

by jools
1-20-02
Next!!!!!

 

by jools
1-21-02
Wow man, good shit!
This just keeps on gettin' better and better!
Press da button!
Oh fuck...
Can I press your button?

 

by jools
1-22-02
Hey girl, will yer shave my bum?
Sure, it sounds like alotta fun!
We'll do it in the hot tub here
Great! I'll just grab a beer!
Bum - a - Shave
Shit.

 

by jools
1-23-02
In Bag End
Where is it!
What?
In Orthanc
You must help us Saruman!
Never!
By Rauros
Come on Sam, let's go to Mordor ourselves.
I'll follow you anywhere Frodo!

 

by jools
1-23-02
So Mr. Perm, how did you lose your penis?
In an accident with a lightsaber and a dildo.
Huh?!?
Well you try finding the right stick and button in a dark room!
So how come you still have a good sex life?
Tobor is great at giving "things"!

 

by jools
1-24-02
Whoa! This is good cybersex!
... And then I insert my big male pin into the hole round the back...
OOOO YEAH! I'm a-cumin' now!
And that is how you install your USB modem.
I wonder how the networking troubleshooter will be...

 

by jools
1-24-02
If another fat cop enters this room, the gravity of the Earth will be disrupted and the world will blow up.
Shit. *RUMBLE*
Oh well.

 

by jools
7-15-02
Yeah?

 

by jools
7-17-02
MmmMMmmM!
Breasts... Yeah...
MMMmmmMMmm!
No! Must... Resist... Squeeze...
Huh? I'm his wife!
No, foul demons, thou shalt not taunt me with this "breast" speak!

 

by jools
7-17-02
Sucky Sucky! Fi' Dollah
Ooooh! You have BIG woody!
Hey, girl, gimme some!
But I no like splinters in my tongue.
Awwww...

 

by jools
7-17-02

 

by jools
7-17-02

 

by jools
7-17-02
Come on...

 

by jools
7-17-02
Go on...

 

by jools
7-17-02
Hey... Where're the hookers?

 

by jools
11-01-02
One of kaddar's characters is shown the ropes.
Hey, I'm new here, what should I know?
1. Don't abuse _any_ forumuser character.
Ok, what else?
2. Don't get in a comic with Tobor. The pay is good but I still have the friction burns
Yeah, and...
3. Sucky, sucky, fi' dollar!

 

by jools
11-17-02
So anyway, I sez to him...
Tourist alert!
OCH AYE!! ON THE NOO!!
AYE, THE WEE BEASTIE!!
Look mommy! Real Scottish people!
Yes, and they're talking Scottish... How quaint!

 

by jools
11-17-02
GABE! TOBOR IS WORRIED: HAS THE LOVE GONE FROM OUR RELATIONSHIP?
Of course not... NOW TURN AROUND AND BEND OVER, BITCH!
TOBOR THOUGHT HE WAS DOMINANT? WHY MUST IT BE YOU CORNHOLING TOBOR?
BECAUSE YOU LIKE IT, BITCH!
THAT IS ENOUGH! TOBOR FIND NEW MAN-SLAVE!
Tobor! Come back! TOBORRRRRR!!!!

 

by jools
11-22-02
Sucky, sucky, fi' dollar! Ah, you have big woody!
Damn, I can't get to my wallet!
This is one of the seminal comic types of Stripcreator. It is so enduring due to the universal appeal of blowjobs and Jesus.
Wassat? Seminal blowjobs? Jesus?

 

by jools
11-22-02
Oh donkey, I never knew you had feelings for me!
I have longed for you like a crack addict longs for a fix.
Oh donkey!
Oh Gabe!
Oh baby! Yeah!
NO GABE! NOOOOOO!!!

 

by jools
11-25-02
I am Penis, an anthropomorphic personification of your deepest and darkest urges and wants.
I have an urge to expose myself at the bus stop?

 

by jools
11-25-02
I am Penis, an anthropomorphic personification of your deepest and darkest urges and wants.
Penis?
Yup.
Why are you wearing a mask?
Can Gabe really be Brad's conscience? - Find out in the next episode of BAD CONSCIENCE!!!!
Because - TA-DA!!!
ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!

 

by jools
11-25-02
DAMN! No more charges left!
HA! What are you going to do? Suck on me?
Yes! *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck*...
What the-
*suck* *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck* ....
AH! POLEECE!! ITS RAPE!!

 

by jools
11-25-02
I DEMAND you give my body back!
*burp* No can do, matey-hoo
OK then, suck on this!
What?
RAARRRR!!!!!
Hey, sweetcheeks, wanna go out for dinner some time?

 

by jools
11-25-02
6 months later...
I now pronounce you man and Tobor! You may kiss the Tobor!
*suck* *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck* *suck*
RAAARRRR!!!! TOBOR HAPPY!
STOP IT! STOP EVERYTHING! THAT TOBOR IS MY HUSBAND!

 

by jools
11-26-02
TOBOR HAS... TOBOR HAS ALWAYS LOVED YOU.
Oh Tobor, I knew you'd come back to me!
RAARRRRR!!!!!! TOBOR SHOW YOU TOUGH MANLOVE!
Oh Tobor!
9 months later...
Ga-ga!
Ga-ga?

 

by jools
11-26-02
Tobor is being tormented by the usual things in his dream...
RAAARRR!!!! NOOO!!!
I'm All Butt!
WIRTHLING? IS THAT YOU?!?
Tobor... You want me... You NEED me...
WHAT HAS TOBOR DONE! I MUST FIND WIRTHLING!!

 

by jools
11-27-02
I've come to deliver an invoice for lost work time.
Ah, hello Mr *clickety* Makk. Right through there.
I gave them my invoice.
Thank you! Have a nice day!

 

by jools
11-28-02
Hey Vern, can I borrow some KY?
Yeah, but you did say borrow.
I gotta give this stuff back! *felch*felch*felch*
H - Hey! What are you doing?
Here you go...
URRGGGGHHHHH! I'm not using this! You got a hair in it!

 

by jools
11-29-02
Hmmm, who could that be? If it's the KY salesman, I better get at sucking height.
*Ding*Dong*
*su- Tobor? Is that you?
RAARRR! TOBOR HAS MADE A MISTAKE! TOBOR WANTS WIRTHLING!
Tobor! I knew you'd come back! Do you want me to come up?
STAY DOWN THERE!

 

by jools
12-07-02
NEW! CHALLENGE TOBOR COMPETITION! ENTER TODAY!
Hmmmm...
This isn't looking good...
NOOOO! GET AWA- RAARRRR!!!

 

by jools
12-07-02
Well, at least I'll go to heaven after getting that evangelist's book along with that Anal Sex For Men guide...
RAAARRR!!
Come on, do your worst.
RA- WHAT? TOBOR'S PHALLUS HAS JAMMED?
Too much sodomy?
NO, SPANKLING'S ARSE WAS FULL OF GUMMI BEARS. TAKE THE MONEY ANYWAY.

 

by jools
12-13-02
HO-HO-HO! What do you want for Christmas?
o/ All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth! /o
How did you lose them?
*whisper*whisper*
HO-HO-HO!
*suck*suck*

 

by jools
4-19-03
wehn a man loves a song
HE DOWNLAOD'S TEH FUCKIN BITCH
AH! POLEECE!! ITS COPYRIHGT TEHFT!
TAHT IS TEH DMAGE U R CUASING TEH RIAA! DONT DOWNLAOD TEH ILEGAL SONGS!

 

by jools
7-10-03
What do you say to an Fine Art graduate with a job?
Could I have fries with that please?
Oh man that was bad.
Now to make it even worse... SUCKY SUCKY FI' DOLLAH!

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