Celebrity Suicide Pun Hot Line #3

Author: kaufman

Date: January 15, 2002

by kaufman
1-15-02
Celebrity Suicide Pun Hot Line, what is your emergency?
It's the Hapsburg heir. He jumped into a vat of bakery dough. Now I fear he's in bread!
Celebrity Suicide Pun Hot Line, what is your emergency?
Carly Simon slit her wrist, but I was able to suture it in time and tell that naughty blood vessel of hers, "You're sewn, vein!"
Hello, this is Santa Claus. I've got such post-holiday depression, I think I'll take a poison suppository.
Don't be ridiculous. Do you really want to be known as Arsenic Arse Nick?