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| Good evening, sir, let me tell you about our specials tonight. Our seafood specials are crappie, fecaled herring, and dungerness crab. | |
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| For a heartier appetite we have a delicious turducken, or if you feel like something Asian, may I recommend the poo-poo platter? | |
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| If you want something Italian, we also have a great spaghetti fra diarrhea. So may I start you off perhaps with an appetizer of shittake mushrooms? | |
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| Um, no thanks. Could I please have something off the non-flies' menu? I'm E. coli intolerant. | |
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