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by kleinksw
9-20-06
Preparing to negotiate with Korgilla, the Storm Giant Princess
You're kidding... you're not going in alone are you?
As the group leader, it is my duty. Just keep an eye on the entrance.
So, we get to wait out here, while you "negotiate" with Korgilla, the Storm Giant Princess, and her legion of guardians?
At the first sign of trouble, I'll just teleport out and we'll do battle side-by-side.
Yeah right. You're not coming out are you? I think someone just wants all the experience.
Gahhh!

 

by kleinksw
9-21-06
It's decided that Herm will accompany Eery, but their negotiations quickly breakdown... Eery teleports out as promised... Herm isn't so lucky...
Valenzio, if I were ye, I wouldn't go in there... 'tis a terrible sight!
Good Berbeck. I'm level 17! I've beheld many a horror in my days. Remember when Korigal got whacked for the 14th time? Now that was gruesome!
Bah! 'Twas nothing 'pared te this! Herm went ethereal and misjudged how far it was te the other side of the boulder he was escaping through...
Silly ninja. What happened to him this time?
Well, he didn't get shunted. He's stuck half-way 'tween the boulder and freedom. Dead as a Dracolich! The horror on the poor lad's face!
Sad indeed... Well, we've grieved long enough. Summon upon some of yer dwarven brethren. We need an excavation party to mine out his magic items.

 

by kleinksw
9-21-06
The Storm Giants are furious with Eery's demands. It's time to prepare, quickly, for battle...
All right Mazun. You best have your magics ready. Korgilla will be wild! Herm got in a couple pokes before getting "rocked." Early recon indicates that she's got at least 3 Storm Giant guards.
Say no more... Time to tap the weavel.
Hmm... something sounds wrong about that... You should tap something a little more powerful than "the weavel," mayhap? And do it quick!
MOCK YOU NOT THE WEAVEL! THE WEAVEL PROVIDES ME WITH ARCANE POWERS WELL BEYOND THAT OF ANY CLERICAL BOONS OR PETTY MAGELING SPELLS! WITNESS THE RAW, UNBRIDLED POWER OF THE EVIL WEAVE! *VAM NOLDOLA!*
Vam Noldola? Isn't that a level one mage armour spell? You can tap such "raw, unbridled power" and you choose mage armour? Wow, the weavel... What power?
Hey, it's the first round and mage armour is my buff of choice. Only seven more rounds of buffing, then you will witness the full power of THE WEAVEL!!!

 

by kleinksw
9-22-06
Seven buffs later and Mazun’s ready to roll, but there’s no sign of the ornery Storm Giants…
There we go! Mage Armour, Shield, Mass Fly, Haste, Protection from Arrows, Magic Circle Against Evil, Mirror Image, & Greater Invisibility. That my friend, is the weavel. Let's go Giant huntin'!
Good work Mazun. Finally a battle where you can get all your buffs up. Now, where are those "wildly" "furious" Storm Giants that Eery promised?
Let's not be so hasty Valenzio. The more time we have to prepare the better.
More time to prepare? For the first time in any combat, Mazun is fully buffed! I'm going in!
It will be your undoing. Just give Berbeck a couple shakes to get his Stone Golem up the hill and we'll all go in... together.
We've already lost the element of surprise when you chose to "negotiate" poor Herm's life away. Besides, they're just giants. What's a giant going to do to me?

 

by kleinksw
9-25-06
Valenzio, the self-proclaimed one man raiding party, takes it upon himself to dispense of the Storm Giants while Eery and the others formulate a plan of attack...
Herm? Is that you? I thought you were stuck in a boulder? I was just coming to see if I could, uh, rescue you.
Who is this "Herm" you speak of? Many a ninja calls this mountain their home. Do you not know of the... uhhh.. Flying... umm... Feret Dojo high aloft the Thunder Peaks?
I guess ninjas are a silver piece a dozen on this mountain. Perhaps you would like to join us in fellin' the Storm Giants that also call these peaks home good... What be your name?
Ahh, yes... my name... my name is Perm, yes, Perm. I could accompany you Va... va... vanquisher of giants.
Terrific! And, well met, Perm the stuttering ninja. Our leader, I mean, second in command, Chicken Shitbag, should be along with the rest of the group any moment now.
Well, I say we press the offensive before Mr. Shitbag and the others get here. I alone, a ninja master do not forget, could easily dispatch of these giants. Why not save Shitbag et al. the trouble?

 

by kleinksw
9-26-06
The rest of the Prophets catch up with Valenzio and their "new" companion...
Eery... Uh, good timing. We were just waiting for you to catch up with us. I found us an able replacement for Herm. Meet Perm.
You mean, you found Herm.
Hey Eery. I did that "undercover" work for ya like you asked. Wasn't hard. As you expected, it was Valenzio that started the "Chicken Shitbag" monicker.
I figured as much.
So, Valenzio. What do you have to say for yourself?
Where'd Perm go?

 

by kleinksw
9-26-06
After a few minutes of explanation the group is eager to press on, but Valenzio is still pondering the Herm/Perm conundrum...
Hmm... So, if there was no Perm, who in Tymora's name was...
Valenzio! Snap out of it lad! There be some cantankerous looking storm clouds loomin' 'bove us. They could open up at any...
Dungeon Master: "The mist and drizzle give way to a heavy downpour. Lightning arcs through the sky and thunder shakes the earth" *hint hint*
Hmm... What kind of Kelemvorite goes flapping around with chicken wings anyway?
Valenzio, lets pick up the pace.
Hmm... Seems Chicken Shitbag doesn't want to get his feathers wet. Oooh I like that one!
Umm, Valenzio... That was out loud.

 

by kleinksw
9-26-06
A succession of lightning bolts strike the mountainside causing a rockslide and diverting a river towards the Prophets. They quickly find themselves hemmed in by rocks & under 40' of frigid water...
We're levels 15 to 18. We all have some way of sustaining ourselves in this icy water without air, right?
Aye. I'll cast Shuffle on Valenzio 'n I so we can move about... This is Storm Giant trickery no doubt!
Not a problem. I'll just go ethereal and get myself out of here.
Perm? ... I'm good. No need for air here.
What about you Berbeck?
*glub glub gurgle glub*

 

by kleinksw
9-26-06
Suddenly, Korgilla and 3 other Storm Giants appear each firing off a bolt of lightning towards the Prophets, whom almost all evade the charges...
[EVADE] Haha! Nice try Princess! To arms lads! Eery, wait up! [SHUFFLE]
ACK!!! Darn ye Valenzio, take it for me boy! ... I'm sure ol' Stoney'll jus' pick me up n' lift me out! ... Hmm... Seems he's 'ready joined in combat.
[EVADE] Evasion comes naturally to the ninja master! Press the attack! [ETHEREAL]
OWIE!!! Moradin's toe!!! Step into 'er Herm! ... Climbing the wall o' rock in me plate armour mayn't be working for me. Plus, she's acting like a conducter fer them damned bolts!
Aha! Can't target what they can't see! Maybe you should think about tappin' the weavel, Berbeck. [SHUFFLE]
YOWCH! So many advantages: +2 CON score; 60' darkvision; +2 saves vs. spells & poison... Add poor reflexes as the 2nd & only other reason not to play a Dwarf! The 1st being that ther' poor floaters.

 

by kleinksw
9-27-06
Valenzio and Eery are quick to engage Korgilla's henchmen...
Time for a little giant crushin'! Now this is what I live for! Watch and learn, Chicken-boy. [POKE 42 DAMAGE]
Nice one Valenzio! [SLASH! 192 DAMAGE... THE GIANT GOES DOWN]
Ah yes, you too, Eery. [POKE POKE 64 DAMAGE!] Yes! That critical blow should be his undoing, yet he stands, go figure...
Thanks Val! Let me help you out with him. [MANK! 220 DAMAGE...] A telling blow of my own! [... THE GIANT IS TORN IN TWAIN]
Enough with the kill-steals already! [POKE 39 DAMAGE]
Well maybe if you'd stop tickling them with your rapiers... [MASH! 240 DAMAGE TEARING GIANT #3 ASUNDER]... Looky there, another critical! Chalk "Chicken-boy" up for 3 on your Kill Chart, Val.

 

by kleinksw
9-27-06
Korgilla disappears & reappears just above the water... Taking advantage of the previous spells Mazun had cast the Prophets give chase... most of them anyway...
Herm, go ethereal and get in behind her. Valenzio, just keep poking. Berbeck... umm... Where's Berbeck? Wasn't he part of the Mass Fly spell you cast Mazun?
He said something about not wantin' te be part of me shenanigans. But, if ye ask me, I think he's just 'fraid te fly.
All right, Stoney, lif' me on out of here... Come on now... I will ye! Argh!
Don't jus' stand there lookin' at me you stupid chunk o' 200,000 gold piece rock!
Momentarily chief. Perhaps if the stout fellow hadn't crafted me out of this cheap snot-green agate I would have acquiesced to his commands a few rounds ago.

 

by kleinksw
9-27-06
Stoney carries Berbeck out of the frigid water while the rest of the Prophets engage Korgilla...
You're surrounded Princess! Drop your weapon and surrender!
Surrender my butt! Chaaaaaaarge!
DM: "Just then, what appears to be a large thunderhead comes rolling in enveloping both Valenzio and Eery... Roll your Reflex saves boys. Roll a 2nd save as Korgilla blasts a Cone of Cold at you."
No worries, I'm immune to electricity and cold effects.
Of course you are... Ha! I roll a 36 and 22, it's evasion time baby! Who needs immunities!
DM: "Both your saves fail Valenzio. You take a total of 136 damage and, it would seem you're dead. Sorry 'bout that. Valenzio splashes into the water..."
Hmm, it would appear that I should've casted Shield Other on Valenzio.
Here I am lads. What'd I miss?

 

by kleinksw
9-27-06
Eery, Berbeck & Herm make short work of the "Thunderworm" and Korgilla... while Mazun plunges into the water after Valenzio... Version 1, The Mazunian Perspective.
Althou' the water's freezin' me skin off, I gotta get ye out! No! Yer favourite rapier just got washed away! Alas, gettin' ye te safety's me only concern right now. [TELEPORT]
Eery, Berbeck & Herm make short work of the "Thunderworm" and Korgilla... while Mazun plunges into the water after Valenzio... Version 2. Alternate Ending... aka, what really happened, maybe.
Blast this freezin’ water! Ye better have some good loot on yer stinking corpse or ye ain’t worth me holdin’ me breath. Ah, yer favourite rapier [PILFER]. Now I best get me te safety. [TELEPORT]

 

The Prophets return back to Arabel minus one breathing swashbuckling knight...
Join me, DM Visty, here on the Fugue Plane in the next series as the Prophets of Virtue continue their blunderous adventuring across the Forgotten Realms.
by kleinksw, 9-27-06

 

by kleinksw
1-09-07
DM: A creature, which we'll call a "Bodak" begins moving toward the group. Roll initiative lads. The group rolls: Khosk 20, Drah 18, Brux 17, Kalb 16 & Kieffer 1. Khosk & Drah, you're up.
I disappear into Drah's whip-dagger. Pssst... Drah... Don't forget you can summon a powerful Water Elemental out of your dagger now.
I cast invisibility on myself, move back 30 ft, and next round I begin drumming.
DM: Brux and Kalb, your turns. What do you do? ... ... ... ... Kalb... KALB! ... WAKE UP! IT'S YOUR TURN!
I pull out my wand, cast invisibility on myself, and close my eyes.
*wakes up* Uh... *blink blink* Okay... I charge in… Wait… what the...!!?? Where the blazes did everyone go?
DM: The "Bodak" moves within 30' of Kief & Kalb gazing upon them... Will saves boys.
Umm... 1 and Kalb's die of awesomeness... a 1, too. Guess those are auto-fails?
DM: Indeed... Dead & Dead. Sorry Kief. Chalk that up to cruddy dice, invisible metagamers and Mr. Sleepy.

 

by kleinksw
1-18-07
With a Fire Giant holed up in his smithy and heaving red-hot anvils at anyone who enters, Kalb charges in ahead of the group quickly getting beat within HPs of his life...
Umm... Whenever you guys are ready! I could use A LOT of healing and maybe a little help in here! ... Now!!!
Lure him out of there and back around the corner, Kalb, and we'll jump 'im!
Kalb not budging, Brux fully buffed, Sars caught up, and Drah invisible & drumming, Kieffer decides to push his luck and steps into the room, loosing a halfling sized dagger at the Giant.
Kalb, you do realize that I can't do any damage when I'm not sneak attacking, right? Here goes nothing... Dagger away!
DM: Haha! I love it! The dagger hurtles through the air spinning end over end, until it... What's your roll, Kief?
DM: Hold up. Did I mention he has 258 HPs, AC 22, and has Displacement cast on him so you have a 50% chance to miss him altogether? Okay, Kieffer, you may proceed with your roll.
Gah! I roll... Oh my! Howabout 2 natural 20s, and... a 23 to confirm the insta-kill! Oh, and I'll take "high" on the d100 roll to hit...
DM: *Sweating* [Rolls the d100 = 78!] Nooo! Insta-kill! He was supposed to slaughter you guys! Oh how the dice have turned.

 

by kleinksw
1-21-07
After two days of entering various arcane trinkets into his "Master List of Magic Items," DM Deathspell is beginning to make some headway...
*type type* Hi all. I finally started compiling a list of magic items... probably just in time for 4th ed. to come out...
...Here are the Special Abilites lists for Armor and Weapons from every book we have... -Deathspell
Twenty-six more days of on and off data entry and...
*type type* Here she be doods... Over 1,200 Wonderous items and 1,000s of other weapons, staves, shields, potions, etc. from all 68 D&D books we have. That's everything! Enjoy, Deathspell
Now, a little free time of my own to check the D&D updates at the Wizards' site. Gargantuan Blue Dragon mini this January... Mine's already shipped! Ha!
What's this? "March: Magic Item Compendium: More Magic Items Than You Can Fit in a Bag of Holding... including hundreds of new low-cost items..."
Wonderful.

 

by kleinksw
3-17-07
The Beer Golem Butchers, venturing through an underground complex, come upon a locked door.
Gregor. Check the door to see if it's trapped.
Righto.
After a couple minutes of inspection...
Well... is it trapped?
No, it doesn't appear to be.
Hmm... So, you're saying this door isn't trapped? It must be a trap.
Agreed.

 

by kleinksw
6-21-07
Farrel, Omaha, and Valex ... you're roused from your slumber at the campsite by a noise in the bushes to the west. What do you do?
I uhhh... draw steel and ready an action to attack if anything comes within my threatened square.
I stand, pull out my blade, and move silently toward the bushes.
I uhhh... umm... hmmm...
Valex? Do you do anything? You have 6 seconds.
Yeah, okay. I check to see if the campfire is hot.

 

by kleinksw
6-27-07
What are you making for the "Deathspell" campaign?
I was thinking of doing that "Apostle of Peace" build, but since you're going Barbarian and your bro's making a Ninja, maybe I should go Cleric?
Bah! With the new Belts of Healing being such a steal and potions of Cure Light Wounds costing next to nothing, Clerics are virtually obsolete.
Yeah, you're right. What was I thinking?
DM Deathspell: All right, it's round 22 versus the Troll Marauders... What do you guys do?
The Apostle's down, our healing belts are spent, and if you drink any more potions you'll explode. I go invisible... again.
Pass me 4d6.

 

by kleinksw
7-14-07
Flispen Ortunis, the daring swashbuckler, engages Kalt Helbar, the dastardly Red Wizard of Thay.
Finally, it's just you and me, Kalt. Prepare to pay for your sins.
Too much talk, too little fight, Ortunis. *Lightning Bolt* [quickened] *ZAAAAAPP!* *Polar Ray* *CRAACKLE!"
Ten rounds of combat later, Flispen continues to sop up the damage, while the Thayan Wizard draws upon a seemingly endless supply of spells to thwart the swordsman's onslaught...
Ha! You must be running low on spells, Wizard! Have at you!
Just this one left, but it should seal the deal: "Die!" [Power Word Kill]
With only 43 hit points left, Ortunis falls, but not without leaving the mage with something to think about...
Sure I may be dead, but you have no spells left!

 

by kleinksw
7-20-07
Deep within the Ebon Triad stronghold, the PCs hole up against the Ebon Aspect...
For the love of Tymora, what is that thing?
Judging from its massive height, bulging muscles pulsing with arcane power, 6 arms, and vicious maw... I'd have to dub this beast, "Death."
Umm... "Death?" That sounds anything but good. Could someone remind the DM we're only level 3 and we've already had 3 TPKs?
ROARRRRRRRRR!!!!
Combat ensues for what feels like an eternity, but by some strange twist of fate the PCs emerge victorious!
I knew we could take it! Hurray!
Death is dead! Everyone lives forever!

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