All comics by lemm

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by lemm
2-28-01
it was a sunny day, so ken went for a walk in the park
hey, your dress is nice, fancy a shag?
no way mang!
things were not quite working out as ken planned
listen bitch, you can't dress like that and expect me not to rape you. honestly, some people.
i ph33r for my rectum..... HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
after a particularly long chase...
hmm, i must be going wrong somewhere.

 

by lemm
2-28-01
it was a normal day for ken...
so, in closing, DRIVER IS SHIT!
i can't believe i bought Driver and it's so shit. *sob* at least my trusty pc will never fail me
KEN, YOUR SHIT!
MY SHIT?
don't get smart with me. GET OUT OF MY NEWSGROUP!

 

by lemm
2-28-01
look, i told you, GET OF MY NEWSGROUP!
i'm only joking, ken is the most excellent person ever!
stop impersonating me, you crack wh0re
did you have my isp account killed?
mohh

 

by lemm
2-28-01
haha, and we drank and wnacked off on d pr0n all night

 

by lemm
2-28-01
haha, and we drank and wnacked off looking at animal pr0n all night!
but what happened to your beard?
i don't know, but it was there before Steven Hawking came round
mohh
damn his wheel chair high jinx! i will have to transplant some of your facial hair onto my face!
i feel so cheap

 

by lemm
2-28-01
hello, i'm puff
on my god
hello? are you ignoring me?
YOUR GAY
my gay what?
your gay tail!

 

by lemm
2-28-01
hello my pretty! i'm tane and i'm scottish and i'm excellent!
go away cunty!
i work in holland you know!
FUCK OFF!
damn, she got away before i could slip some rohypnol in her tea.

 

by lemm
2-28-01
haha, free internet calls for me! take that BT!
haha, ph33r my l33tness!
you're nicked
mohh

 

by lemm
2-28-01
"Bring out your dead, Bring out your dead"
that'll be ninepence
but, i'm not dead. i'm getting better
no you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment
i don't want to go in the cart! DAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!
it burneth!
mohh

 

by lemm
3-02-01
well hello!
somebody help me...
i say, you're a fine looking creature aren't you! are those breasts real?
this can't be happening...
2 hours later...
...and then i said, it's only money. i mean, when you're a billionaire, it's not worth worrying about when somebody crashes your £60 million yacht. is it?
lets go big boy

 

by lemm
3-02-01
hey babe, go pack your suitcase, i've just won the lottery!
shall i pack for warm or cold weather?
i don't care, just get out of my house!

 

by lemm
3-02-01
son, come over here...
yes dad?
how many times do i have to tell you. if you keep wnaking yourself off all night you'll go blind.
?
hello? over here

 

by lemm
3-02-01
doctor, something is wrong, i can't feel my legs!
of course not, i've amputated both your arms!
*sob*
muhahahahahaha
i cuss you bad

 

by lemm
3-02-01
ring ring
hello?
hello, it's the hospital here. i've got some good news and some bad news. your wife has been in a car crash. she's lost both arms, both legs and she'll need help eating for the rest of her life.
oh my god. whats the good news?
i'm kidding, she's dead!

 

by lemm
3-02-01
despite the fact he looks like a miserable fucker....
babe, you were amazing
but do you really have to keep passing me your chewing gum while we're kissing?
um, that's not chewing gun, i've got bronchitis
i feel sick
mohh

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