All comics by maxawa

Profile

 

by maxawa
2-20-02
DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID!

 

by maxawa
2-20-02
I can't see the screen over that head. I don't want to be rude, but if I don't ask him to move, I'll miss the movie. What should I do?
Problem solved.
grrg.
One more Swiss Army Knife to the jugular daydream and I'm going to stop carrying keys.

 

by maxawa
2-20-02
Excuse me, caucasian, could you move your head?
No.
What if I say please and stop referring to you by your particular ethnicity subset.
No.
White person, can't you see I'm only one No and a $14.95 Target sporting goods section purchase away from insanity.
Why do I always get stuck sitting in front of the talkative small-headed negroes?

 

by maxawa
2-20-02
I'm going to keep talking till you move evolution's first head expansion pack out of the way.
And I'm not moving till you can pronounce "ask" without an x. Looks like we're at an impasse.
Wanna fight crime?
Deal.

 

by maxawa
2-21-02
So where do you think we'll find crime, White Person.
Probably in your neighborhood.
Let's get moving.
That was supposed to be injurious.
As injurious as a group of men who've collected a body part from every piece of white bread that's wandered into their neighborhood since April 4th, 1968? ...No matter...let's get moving.

 

by maxawa
2-21-02
See any crime yet?
Not yet.

 

by maxawa
2-21-02
Anything?
No. But I have a feeling that old bitch in the walker is an ovaltine-triggered fiber timebomb that's just waiting to go off.

 

by maxawa
2-22-02
Jesus Christ, what are these people, Buddhists? I haven't even seen a litterer.
You should do what I am -- turn your attention to a likely offender.

 

by maxawa
2-22-02
Help, Police!!!
Running towards the cry for help will require some reconditioning.

 

by maxawa
2-22-02
What seems to be the problem, citizen?
A black man just broke in and raped me!
Did the Puerto Rican hurt you?
He was black.
Are you sure he wasn't Puerto Rican?
BLACK!

 

by maxawa
2-22-02
So, a person of indeterminate race broke in through the window and then what?
BLACK BLACK BLACK!
Okay, look, I'm willing to go quarter black on the mother's side. But for anything more, I'll need a honky waving his ass at us a few branches up in the family tree.
But it WAS a black man!
Just because his grandma was the product of a trist between his great-grandad and a fine nubian anti-abortion steamboat whore, that doesn't mean he's a brother.
Oh, screw this. I'm repressing.

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
Meanwhile...
NEEEEGRO, WHERE AAAAAARRREE YOU?
Holy-Titty-Fuck-A-Hymnal!!! Did I just hear that?

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
NEEEEEEEEEEEGROOOOOOO.

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
NEEEGRO? WHERE AARE YOOOU, NEEEGRO?

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
HEEERE NEGRO, NEGRO, NEGRO! HEEERE NEGRO...

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
...NEEGRO...

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
...Nee...

 

by maxawa
2-23-02

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
gro

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
Wait, let me expl
So, you like the word NEGRO, do you?
Ya, you like the word NEGRO, huh?
Ya.

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
Like that word enough to be screaming it, huh? I mean I never liked a word enough to just drag my ass out to the street and start screaming it.
Me neith...actually, I been in the middle of some sweet pop-your-dick-zit pussy and still got up to run outside and scream, "Ice Cream Man!"
Ya, but Ice Cream Man's a phrase. He was talking about a word.

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
Now we ain't mean people, but we ain't soft neither. So when you come to OUR hood talking NEGRO this and NEGRO that, we gotta set an example.
I think it was more about the rarity of someone being so enamored with an IDEA they shout it publicly, and less about the word-phrase distinction.
Oh I see. So if I say, "Grab my gat for me" I really mean "Grab the IDEA of my gat, distort it, and hand me a turd." Thanks for clearing that up.

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
So here it is now. Your life's last choice. You made all your other ones and they got you here. To the last one. So here it is: how you want it? Quick or slow?
It's that kind of strict constructionism that had your woman sucking my dick last night.
Are you sure she didn't just kick you in the balls and your ideation process was the faux blow.

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
Time's running out. Decide how you die or I will.
Pseudo-empiricist!
Generality whore!

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
What about the aphorism?
Never heard of it. Is it messy? Do I get to use my Dremel?
What aphorism?
Where are you, you slippery little bastard?

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
Think about it. He said, "I mean I never liked a word enough to just drag my ass out to the street and start screaming it." What's he saying?
That I never liked a word enough to drag my ass out to the street and start screaming it.
Nigga please. That sentence was relationship thematic with mental imagery that strongly hinted at loneliness.
Strongly hinted? It damn near asked to be held! I think I see where you're going with this, cornbread, but where's the aphorism?

 

by maxawa
2-23-02
One of you talked conviction and the other semantics, but in reality it is his inability to love. His aphorism? Simple. The first 15 letters of his quote.
The first 15 letters?
"I mean, I never like."
Of course! The classic defense mechanism: I'll hurt you before you hurt me.

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
Musical Siloloquoy Interlude
I was a young man full of love...
Full of the magic that dreams are made of...
What has happened to my mother's son?
Did he-ee die where I begun?
Is this the way it has to be?
A grown ma-an scared of intimacy.

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
Musical Siloloquoy Interlude
I should be
saaaaaaa...
...aaaaaaaa...
...aaaaaaad,
It's a good thing I've got...

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
Musical Siloloquoy Interlude
Bitches to the left of me...
And bitches to the right of me...
And burrowing bitches that live just like moles...

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
Musical Siloloquoy Interlude
Cause you find a butcher if you want meat...
A baker if you want bread...
And Leroy if you want hoes.

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
And all the bitches go
Do da do, do do do do do
Do da do, do do do do do
Do da do, do do do do do
Do da do, do do do do
Do
Do

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
That was some bizarre shit, Leroy.
Try to bring a little choreography to the hood and suddenly people look at a brother like he just dry humped a nunnery.

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
Elsewhere
...and then they handcuffed me, stripped me naked, and sodomized me with the business end of a Barbie doll.
Go on.
They wired my jaw open, threw me head first into this gigantic dung beetle mound, and mercifully left. That's when you found me.
Goddamned Puerto Ricans.
I said black.
Goddamned disguised Puerto Ricans.

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
But just as White Person's Therapy Superpower was about to save him from every superhero's worst nightmare - inner city youth - tragedy strikes.
I mean, bullshit aside, we all know OJ's guilty, right?
FORM
OF
SUPERNEGRO!

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
Holy Father's foreskin! An 80-foot-tall naked black man that speaks through his ankle!
Bow before SuperNegro, tiny white man, or I shall lodge thee in my butt crack and eat dairy.

 

by maxawa
3-02-02

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
Well, aren't WE an agreeable superhero.

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
There you are, White Person! I needed your backup, where the hell you been? What the fuck you doing down there?
Negro, get the hell out of here! Don't you see SuperNegro?!

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
A gentleman waits to be introduced.
Negro, SuperNegro. SuperNegro, Negro.
Greetings, tiny brother. SuperNegro only makes The Man bow. You are free to go.

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
Shut your GODDAMNED mouth, Puerto Rican!
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
You DARE doubt SuperNegro's negrosity?!

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
It's like my pops always said, "If it looks Puerto Rican, talks Puerto Rican, and acts Puerto Rican, it must be the real rapist who framed your daddy and if you don't believe me I'll kill myself."
SuperTherapy sense tingling!
SuperNegro is not Puerto Rican. You're thinking of SuperPuertoRican. Look, here he comes now, ask him yourself.

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
You're SuperPuertoRican?
Wait a minute, weren't you that whore?
SuperPwertoRican howsehold's fallen on har times, mehn.
SuperPuertoRican liked SuperIndian's super pussy just a little too much so now he's working off some money he owes me.

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
Hello! My name is John Negro! You framed my father, prepare to die!
Why not call yourself John?
I don't frame your padre, mehn. I don't even no heem. Stay back or I'll use my supower on you.
John sounds like a restroom.

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
That's right, just walk over the genuflector.
You don't remember my father? About yay high with a beard? Used to give a friendly nod of the genitals to the neighborhood kids as they passed by? The man you framed for rape? Ringing any bells?
That wuz your father, mehn? Yah, I member heem. I member him real goo. Not cause I frame heem. Cause he's a bastard that rape my madre!

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
Late Saturday night wuz when it happen, mehn. My mom an sis an me were home.
Jane! SuperPuertoRican! You two better have a good reason for getting out of bed.
Mommy, there's a rapist under my bed.
Lil beech trumpt my monster.
Just like the chameleon, stealth is my religion. None shall know me until I choose to reveal.

 

by maxawa
3-02-02
Jane, rapists don't hide under beds. They are very brazen and pound pussy quick. But I'll have SuperPuertoRican check, if that will make you feel better.
Thanks ma.
To any rapish under the bed, come on out, mehn.
Holy Sheet!
Hello, youngster. Don't you worry. Just because I'm about to go rape your mother blind doesn't mean I don't have time for some of that genital nodding you kids like so much.

 

by maxawa
3-03-02
No, it can't be.
Your father was a raping peeg, mehn. You need to face it.
Are you sure, and I mean SURE
he wasn't Puerto Rican?

 

by maxawa
3-08-02
Maybe your father's violation of other human beings in the most intimately painful way was just his way of saying, "Hi there! Like some gum?"
I need to see your mother, SuperPuertoRican. I need to apologize.
I dohn know, mehn. I ha blacks in my house twice an fitty percent of them rape my madre.
And ball nodded.

 

by maxawa
3-08-02
Or maybe he went to take a shower and missed! Or...Or...Or...maybe I've been bowing so long blood is pooling around my brain!
Please, I need to do this. I don't know why, I just do.
I'll go ask her, mehn. Buh dohn geh your hopes up. She been a little crazy since the rimjob.
SuperNegro's kidney, pancreas, fingernails, small intestines, abdomen, spleen, and buttflap don't want you leaving this corner, ho!

Showing page 1.

Next »