All comics by michele

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by michele
2-06-05
Stu gets a letter.
Why, what's this??
Dear(not) Stu, You are a piece of shit and ought to have been flushed by now. Quit stinkin. Love(not), Your Secret Notmirer.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! <3!

 

by michele
2-06-05
Yo, Yo, Special Valentine Boxes, I got 'em.
Hm, I wonder if Jilly would like me better if I got her something for Valentine's Day.
OH, DAN, I WOULD LOVE YOU SO MUCH MORE IF YOU WOULD REMEMBER THE SPECIAL TIMES AND MAKE THEM MORE SPECIAL WITH SPECIAL STUFF. AS IT IS, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
Uh...Did she say something?
They smell like CHOCKLIT!...but you cain't eat 'em, ya herrrd?
I wonder if he accepts paypal.... I know SWEETJUNE.COM DOES...

 

by michele
2-06-05
You should check out Regina Spektor. She's like bjork, but russian. And still hot. She'll blow your mind, dude.
Later...
Good god. He warn't kiddin'.

 

by michele
2-06-05
It was THE news.
Hey, guess what, Lenny! Jaime became a WOMAN on Saturday!
That means she has to stick stuff in her middle hole! And a girl who sticks stuff in her middle hole is a girl i LIKE!
Well, I became a chicken.

 

by michele
2-06-05
The Management would like to issue an apology for the last comic. It seems Michele has been running a fever since Wednesday.
Oh, we thought it was fine!
Yeah, we could, like, RELATE.
I mean, I guess it was vulgar and stupid--
--but, like WHATEVER. Chickens are cool.

 

by michele
2-06-05
Mirra, Mirra...
Do you have Reverse Internet Disease??
Um, maybe? I mean, i definitely usually look better IRL than i do in these stoopid comics. But I'm like, totally not like one of those myspace sluts who spends all day posing and cropping stuff...
(BLAM)
(plez go away)
Well, shoot. I'll have to redo my profile at the LIBRARY.

 

by michele
2-06-05
The secret about girls is
They want you to like them!
middle holes...

 

by michele
2-06-05
...
... heh.
He's really bad, I know. The Management says it's okay to blam his mother.
...

 

by michele
2-06-05
BLAM?
Or BLAME?
You know what, it doesn't even really matter. She's a total slut. Who the eff cares.

 

by michele
2-06-05
Monday Mornin'.
Good Morning, Guys. Today, we have a new student.
His name is Angel.
Yeah, Right.

 

by michele
2-06-05
Hola, amigos. Me llama usted Angel.
What's 'at that you got in yr hands?
Ai, Dios!

 

by michele
2-07-05
Andrew and Tom get Freaky
I got holes, in different area coles, area coles
Yo, Ludacris Da Bomb, Tom.
trippin' ballz

 

by michele
2-07-05
Hay, mR. Stew, wat r u givng us 4 crismiss?
Well,I... I hadn't *planned* on giving you--
Aw, com on. are techer lats year gabe us shinny pensils and smeller erasrs 4 critsmas last yer.
Ooh, hm. Well. How about...
A spelling test and a stab in the belly for every misspelled word? I'll use my shinniest knife.

 

by michele
2-07-05
Once again, the Management would like to issue an apology.
The previous comic is in no way meant to represent Ms. Michele's actual attitude toward the poor-spelling, gift-grubbing miscreants of the world. She would never, ever stab any of them.
But Mr. Stu might.
Ow!

 

by michele
2-07-05
Overheard, ~10:15am.
Hey, did you know that in biblical times, people could live to be 900 years old?
i know! that's 'cause there wasn't any junkfood to clog your heart or buses to run you over.
yeah, but, now that i think about it, didn't people have to like, rely on food to fall out of the sky? or like god to come and multiply it to eat?
oh, yeah.
Maybe they just ate all those locusts and frogs that came.
for 900 years? i think i'd rather get hit by a donkey or a pair of feet or whatever.

 

by michele
2-09-05
...zzz...

 

by michele
2-09-05
Tet 2005
Hey! Chuc mung nam moi!
You know, the day is mostly over and i haven't seen a single kumquat, a single mandarin orange, yet.
It's kind of breaking my heart.

 

by michele
2-16-05
That I did love the Moor to live with him, My downright violence and storm of fortunes may trumpet to the world: My heart's subdued, even to the very quality of my lord...
O, did she strumpet to the world!

 

by michele
5-01-05
the semester ends soon. brb.

 

by michele
5-04-05
I slept 45 minutes, last night, and in that time, i dreamt of being small in the smallest continent, which nevertheless could look so huge and wide-sprawling
and red. it felt like mars.
how did that poem go? the sky held its breath?-- it was like that, but minus the air altogether. I woke up gasping and thirsty. When i was small, my mother found the water.
What can I do to fully return the favor?

 

by michele
8-13-05
Overheard, ~10am.
i wonder what boobs really feel like. i bet they feel like water balloons. they look like water balloons.
when i'm thirteen, i'm going to get a bra, and i'm going to stuff it with water balloons so i look fourteen.
yeah, but what if a boy squeezes them and they pop? he'll be mad.
*I'M* going to stuff MY bra with mashed potatoes. Everyone loves mashed potatoes.

 

by michele
8-13-05
hey, there, mr. stu! are you ready for another fantabulabulous new year?
i've denied your raise, am trying to cut your benefits, driven away as many competent potential hirees as possible, given you two more kids and freaked out your assistant with my special porpoise!
so get pumped for the best year EVER!
pump.

 

by michele
8-13-05
...and then she let me go back to her place with her and i was "like whoa" and it was rad, right?
right!
but she lives with her parents and sleeps with a furbee, and i found out that she's underage!
no!
AND... she stuffs her bra with MASHED POTATOES!
is that bad?

 

by michele
8-13-05
meanwhile, far from the bar...
so, how'd your date go, eh?
eh, you know. he wasn't into the mashed.
whatever. you were just with him to "get experience".
next time i make out w/ a floating head, i'm going to stuff with socks and gloves.

 

by michele
8-13-05
Hi, Odell! Knock-knock!
Who's there?
Olive!
Olive who?
OLIVE YOU SO MUCH!
dork.

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