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| Any employee who is discovered farting on any U.S. military post will be fired. Fortunately, I only have one more day to work before I retire. | |
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| Oh, no! But maybe no one heard that. Or, if they did, they don't know who did it. If I can just quickly get off the stage, no one will be the wiser, and I'll see retirement. | |
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| Where do you think you're going!? You're not fooling anyone! We all heard you fart on stage, and you're fired big time for it! | |
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| Why did I get that stupid colonoscopy, today of all days!? | |
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